1 yr old acts like he's not hungry, but will have room for favorite foods

[lkmiscnet]

My 13 mo old is still 90-95% breastfed with the rest being purees and chunky fruits, veggies, beans, and other legumes that he will self feed.

At mealtimes, he will frequently turn away indicating to me that he doesn't want to eat, when he's only taken a few bites, and he'll get very fussy. Not thinking he's had enough food, I will pull out the tried and true favorites--avocado and applesauce--and he will gladly continue to accept either and keep eating.

Had I not known to try those favs, I would have determined that he wasn't hungry based on his actions of turning away and fussing.

So, my question is: Do I get him to eat more solids by offering him his favorites (Is there such a thing as eating too much avocado and applesauce?) as much as he wants or do I just stop meal time when he doesn't want to eat what I've initially made for him. I'm presuming he either doesn't like what I'm trying to feed him (though he used to) or just isn't hungry, though I'm perplexed that he has room for his favorites. Is he just being a picky eater?

[Knitting Mama]

Have you tried offering him other whole foods? Maybe it's a texture thing and he doesn't like the purees as much?

[carmel23]

I would try just offering chunks of soft foods, avocado, banana, cooked squash, and see if he enjoys self-feeding.

[lkmiscnet]

My question seems kinda silly now that I read it. Of course he has room for his favorites! Who wouldn't?

I guess my point is that I would have presumed he wasn't hungry and would have stopped feeding him based on his initial cues. He's already on the low end for weight, so that was a concern. It was just a fluke that I decided to try his favorites, and lo and behold, he continued to eat...

I guess I just have to offer a buffet of foods. Sigh...

[Plummeting]

I agree with the PP - try some soft foods that aren't purees. Maybe he's tired of them. A 13 month old is more than capable of eating soft foods. Actually, I've never heard of a 13 month old who was still only eating purees, other than those who had sensory issues that caused them to gag on anything else. DD1 started eating chunks of soft foods at 7 months. Your DS ought to be offered something other than purees, I think. That might do the trick.

[Alisse]

My son does the same thing. I'll be feeding him his lunch or dinner, which is usually some chunky/flaky concoction of meat and veggies, and he'll start turning away from the spoon or pursing his lips after eating a good amount. But then if i offer him a bit of his favourite fruits like pureed pear, he'll suddenly have room for more. Initially after noticing it i was a little worried of overfeeding him but instead settled on a routine of offering him pureed fruit only when i feel like he's eaten way too little of his main food. And sometimes he's just this way; he seems to want variety sometimes...i think . But irregardless, i always offer him something more substantial to eat at first so that he's eating most of that when he's hungriest.

[LadyCatherine185]

At that age they can still be pretty picky with foods. What I did was offer the favorites once a day, and then the other two times I would offer what I was eating and if he didn't eat, fine. I didn't want to get into the habit of him eating separate food from what we were eating. We don't always eat the same things now, but when we sat down to lunch/dinner together, he gets what I give him and if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't eat it. He was still breastfed on demand (up until 18 months old when my milk dried up from pregnancy) to make sure he was still getting full. I did not want food to become a power struggle. Now, 99% of the time he will eat whatever is given. He was very picky/not interested in much solids until about 15 months old, and now he will eat pretty much anything. He also has a sippy cup of Coconut Milk available to him whenever he wants it throughout the day, and he asks for "snacks" between meals. I just make sure the snacks are healthy, and not too close to meal times.

[Pookietooth]

I was going to ask the same thing, why is a 13 month old still on purees? They can eat most foods at this point other than the big choking hazards (eg, whole nuts, whole grapes, whole hot dogs, etc.).

[tzs]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

At that age they can still be pretty picky with foods. What I did was offer the favorites once a day, and then the other two times I would offer what I was eating and if he didn't eat, fine. I didn't want to get into the habit of him eating separate food from what we were eating. We don't always eat the same things now, but when we sat down to lunch/dinner together, he gets what I give him and if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't eat it.

That!

i totally agree and have done the same thing. if she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat...and she usually makes up for it at the next meal. if for some reason i know i want her to eat i'll just conveniently serve a favorite in the mix.

but we are so not making separate food for kiddos and they usually self-regulate. i think you can either get your kid into the habit of eating what is there or you can get them in the habit of being catered to...and there's no real reason for the later. IMO a babe is a blank slate so they'll learn somehow that what we give them is what we eat. for some reason it always bugs me to see kids getting special "kid food" but the worst is when the "kid food" kids are guests at your house and asking YOU to if there's anything else to eat and what you can make them. ugh!

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by tzs

That!

i totally agree and have done the same thing. if she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat...and she usually makes up for it at the next meal. if for some reason i know i want her to eat i'll just conveniently serve a favorite in the mix.

but we are so not making separate food for kiddos and they usually self-regulate. i think you can either get your kid into the habit of eating what is there or you can get them in the habit of being catered to...and there's no real reason for the later. IMO a babe is a blank slate so they'll learn somehow that what we give them is what we eat. for some reason it always bugs me to see kids getting special "kid food" but the worst is when the "kid food" kids are guests at your house and asking YOU to if there's anything else to eat and what you can make them. ugh!

I thought I was the only one who thought it was strange that others said to offer the favorite items all the time so that the baby will eat. He doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. He won't starve and when if he is really hungry he'll eat it. That is my thoughts but I am not experienced with babies, just 5 year olds. That is how I did dinner times with the kids I nannied for.

[Plummeting]

Originally Posted by tzs

IMO a babe is a blank slate so they'll learn somehow that what we give them is what we eat. for some reason it always bugs me to see kids getting special "kid food" but the worst is when the "kid food" kids are guests at your house and asking YOU to if there's anything else to eat and what you can make them. ugh!

Kids refusing to eat what you give them has nothing to do with what they were "taught" about meal times and food as infants. Your baby is still tiny, so it's easy to feel smug about how you won't "let" your child act such-and-such a way, or how you've done XYZ, which means your child won't act a certain way. It's easy to feel like you've got the answers when it hasn't yet occurred to your child to act that way. Not liking foods isn't a learned behavior; it's a developmental thing that most kids go through. You just haven't been there yet.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by Plummeting

Kids refusing to eat what you give them has nothing to do with what they were "taught" about meal times and food as infants. Your baby is still tiny, so it's easy to feel smug about how you won't "let" your child act such-and-such a way, or how you've done XYZ, which means your child won't act a certain way. It's easy to feel like you've got the answers when it hasn't yet occurred to your child to act that way. Not liking foods isn't a learned behavior; it's a developmental thing that most kids go through. You just haven't been there yet.

But the OP's baby is a toddler, not an infant. Also, I am not sure that I agree that it is just a developmental thing. If you constantly cater to your child's fussiness they will learn that. My MIL has a baby who is 2 years old ( I know, I know... odd, but it was surprise baby ) and refuses to eat anything but quesadillas. Ummmm... if she did not feed him quesadillas he would not eat them all the time and maybe would try something else! He won't actually starve himself but he will hold out longer then she will so she just makes him what he demands. I just don't think it's a good way to go about things. As far as the original poster goes, I think her breastmilk will do wonderfully if he is finicky as it fills in the gaps nutritionally, I think introducing different foods could go a long way vs always offering the "favorite" ones.

[tzs]

Originally Posted by Plummeting

Kids refusing to eat what you give them has nothing to do with what they were "taught" about meal times and food as infants. Your baby is still tiny, so it's easy to feel smug about how you won't "let" your child act such-and-such a way, or how you've done XYZ, which means your child won't act a certain way. It's easy to feel like you've got the answers when it hasn't yet occurred to your child to act that way. Not liking foods isn't a learned behavior; it's a developmental thing that most kids go through. You just haven't been there yet.

btw, you're right about how this is only a theory at this point. i was totally going to write in a disclaimer about how i can talk big now but who knows about the future. i've definately already caved on some biggies.

however, while i agree that pickiness is not learned, i'm still going to hold that expecting special food IS. i really don't think that unless a kid has a medical issue that they are not going to be able to self-regulate and are going to starve themselves. i do think a good concession would be to include some sure-fire favorites at one meal to avoid a struggle. and i would just keep offering the other stuff.

i mean, kids aren't genetically wired to only eat chicken fingers...that stuff comes from parenting.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by tzs

i mean, kids aren't genetically wired to only eat chicken fingers...that stuff comes from parenting.

yeah... otherwise how did children back in the 1400s survive without their chicken fingers!!!???

[tzs]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

yeah... otherwise how did children back in the 1400s survive without their chicken fingers!!!???

what?!? you mean chickens didn't have "fingers" back in the 1400's?????? omg!

[aunt2jmss]

I have taken care of many different toddlers in my daycare. Something that I've found that works with young toddlers who are transitioning from purees to more solid food is to offer them both during a meal.

For example, I now have a 16 mo in my care. He is still eating a mixture of purees and other foods. He won't eat any fruit or vegetables for me unless they are pureed. We (his parents and I) find that he can't get quite full enough on table food only. So, for lunch, he may have small chunks of cheese and crackers that he feeds himself along with a fruit or vegetable puree mixed with infant cereal that I spoon feed him. For breakfast he may have cheerios or toast along with a puree and infant cereal.

I find that by allowing him to feed himself some foods while I am also feeding him the purees he eats enough to fill himself up. He doesn't seem to get as bored with only one type of food / texture at a time.

ETA: This little one will turn away from me throughout the meal at various times, also. From what I can tell he just wants to take a break for a moment, because he almost always will continue eating quite a bit more if I just wait for a moment or two.

He also loves to use a sippy cup during his meals.

[lkmiscnet]

Oops. I will have to correct my original post. He doesn't eat ONLY purees. He eats chunks of fruit, lentils, beans...He has been working through some oral sensory issues from being a preemie in the NICU, so he is lagging behind in the types of finger foods he eats.

Regarding not giving into his desire to eat only favorite foods and someone noting that I can fill in any nutritional gaps with BFing if he doesn't eat what I serve...well BM is one of his favorites too, so aren't I giving into his desire to just have BM, as I think he would be too happy to forego any solids and just be a boob man. He's never reached out/shown any interest in any food we eat at dinner time. Just wondering...

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by lkmiscnet

Regarding not giving into his desire to eat only favorite foods and someone noting that I can fill in any nutritional gaps with BFing if he doesn't eat what I serve...well BM is one of his favorites too, so aren't I giving into his desire to just have BM, as I think he would be too happy to forego any solids and just be a boob man. He's never reached out/shown any interest in any food we eat at dinner time. Just wondering...

personally, I believe that if the baby has no interest in food then breastmilk might be ALL that he needs at that point. He may simply not be ready for food just yet. He is still only 13 months old. If he is eating a lot of breastmilk then I would not be overly worried with forcing food on him. I think he will eat when he is ready. Have you looked into baby led weaning? I would offer him bits and bits of what you are eating (safely of course) and just breastfeed him if you are able to.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by lkmiscnet

Oops. I will have to correct my original post. He doesn't eat ONLY purees. He eats chunks of fruit, lentils, beans...He has been working through some oral sensory issues from being a preemie in the NICU, so he is lagging behind in the types of finger foods he eats.

Regarding not giving into his desire to eat only favorite foods and someone noting that I can fill in any nutritional gaps with BFing if he doesn't eat what I serve...well BM is one of his favorites too, so aren't I giving into his desire to just have BM, as I think he would be too happy to forego any solids and just be a boob man. He's never reached out/shown any interest in any food we eat at dinner time. Just wondering...

It is best to wait until they are ready and interested in eating foods themselves and to BF on demand. BF'ing and solids are two different things. I know you are still wanting to wean soon, and if I were you I would work on weaning to formula/milk substitute rather than trying to push solids. JMO