July 2010 Infertility One Thread - Page 5

[milletpuff]

And Rainy I hope it's NOT CD 1 for you! At work, I had a database guy come give me a training the other day, which started off w the pregnancy announcement and then continued for 15 minutes of complaining about hss wife's morning sickness. I know it's even harder when it's someone so close to you! and

[Rainy229]

Thanks Millie. On the outside, I'm all relaxed and calm about TTC... I'm trying to get my body to function normally, which will allow it to get pregnant naturally. I know that's what I want, but the emotions are just so freaking ARGH! I see so many pregnant women EVERY DAY, it just takes a lot out of me. I really don't want to go on clomid, injectables, or try IUI or IVF, I just want our little family to grow!!! Three mouths, eight feet, and one tail is seeming too small for me.

Thanks for listening... it's nice to have somewhere to break down once in a while...

Rainy

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

Originally Posted by Rainy229

Link to Chart (if applicable): I'm lucky if I write down my temps anymore... I've been charting for nearly 4 years... at this point, I put notes on my phone for CD1, CDs 11-16 (DTD time), and CD28 (POAS) every cycle....
Thoughts: I'm un-lurking because my IRL TTC friend BFP'd this week, as did another good friend who's totally not interested.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you hun! I know what you mean about the IRL friends. Two of mine just announced they were preggers on FB and asked when we were going to finally get pregnant. Finally? Really? Like I have a choice in the matter? UGH!! Right there with ya hun

Originally Posted by milletpuff

[COLOR="DarkOrange"]
Thoughts: Argh. That's about all right now. We will have our donor's sperm tested to see if it will freeze, but the clinic where he has to get it done is closed until Aug 3rd. If it freezes we plan to try fresh in Sept and bring back a few months of sperm and keep going. If it doesn't, we are back to square one.

Sounds like a good plan! I'm glad you guys have a donor that is willing to work with you though I hope it freezes well!

Originally Posted by milletpuff

MFG that just sucks about the sperm count. How incredibly frusrating, cos this was the medication that was *replacing* the medication that made it almost impossible for you guys to get pregs on your own, right?

Yeah, this new med is supposed to let the enzyme repair itself so they were 'viable' sperm again, but now his count is bottoming out. I just can't win! I went to the vitamin shoppe and got some testosterone support herbs and I'm going to see how that helps.

[Rainy229]

MFG: Yeah, I try to keep up the appearances - that everything is chill - that I/we don't care that we're not preggo yet It's really like carrying a HUGE load up a steep hill - I can make it look easy, until you pile j-u-s-t-a-b-i-t more on top of the load, then I start whining complaining and wanting to quit/hire a helicopter.... (You will quickly notice that I'm the queen of bad analogies )

On a brighter note, to pull me out of the pit I was wallowing in this afternoon, DH sent me to the store to get celery and another bottle of vitamins, so I conveniently looked at and picked up a few other supplements that I haven't tried... something about having a plan makes it easier...

Now I'm scaring myself - I think that last thought can be said about suicide too... not that I'm considering that, or trying to make light of it... but I think I might understand how that can happen a bit more now - having a plan for the next cycle (and having the herbs/supplements on hand) makes it seem like the first cycle of TTC again.... okay... maybe the second or fifth...


--Rainy

[lesliesara63]

Zanelee I'm glad your appointment went well. Both of my sisters had endo and having a lap did them well. Plus if you can get your HSG at the same time then thats great. Can he bill the lap as treatment for endo?

MFG great knitting! I haven't knit for ages!!

Endlessly hearing about other peoples pregnancies gets so depressing after awhile.........

[zanelee]

Thanks lesliesara. They are billing my insurance for the visit and bloodwork, and he believes that they should pay for the surgery due to the pain I deal with. Yippee!
And yes, he'd do the HSG at the same time, while I'm out! Sounds even better!

As for the weekend wrap up:
For me, I don't know where I am in my cycle. Temps are all over the place. I'm thinking AF may come in about a week.
Nothing too new to report.

How's everyone else doing?

[Rainy229]

Zanelee - That's great news to hear that insurance is going to pay for (at least part of) testing!

--Rainy

[Tear78]

Originally Posted by Rainy229

Now I'm scaring myself - I think that last thought can be said about suicide too... not that I'm considering that, or trying to make light of it... but I think I might understand how that can happen a bit more now

Ok, my sister is going to totally freak when she reads this, but I have had this thought too once, in my saddest moment. (NO, Carlyle, I'm not thinking about doing it. YES, Carlyle, I know that's not the solution. And YES, I see how valuable my life is). But I can see how people can be pushed to it. I've never been able to see that before. It scared the crap out of me, and I know I need to look for the positive in life, no matter how hard or sad things get. I also need to remember that there is always a way out of a rough patch, even if it's hard to imagine taking the steps (ie, quitting your job, using donor eggs, looking into adopting, etc).

[Rainy229]

CD1... woo-de-friggin-hoo. Although keeping in mind my new "plan," I'm trying to think of month 25? 26? as a new adventure, rather than another attempt after that many fails...

Tear - There are just these moments of clarity when you're wallowing (or at least when I'm wallowing) where I can appreciate how someone in a completely different situation (that I might never find myself in) can feel EXACTLY the same as I do (in certain aspects) in my little wallowing hole. My new plan (adding lecithin and EPO...) is just enough to get me out of my hole and hope for the best...

Just hoping for a BFP this month, 'cause I can't imagine the hormonal, teary, whiny mess DH'll have to deal with if AF visits again in 2010. :-/

--Rainy

[DextersGirl]

Weekend Wrap-Up and New Member Introduction

Name: DextersGirl - Christi Johnson
Age: 36
TTC #: 2
CD: ???
DPO (if applicable): Only God Knows
Testing: No way. I have broken my addiction to POAS.
Trying Since: October, 2006
Plan for this Cycle: No plan...basically not hoping anymore...but I am hoping to one day be surprised
Link to Chart (if applicable): n/a
Thoughts: For the most part, I don't think about it, but when I do, it REALLY hurts. I went to church last Wednesday and found out that one of my dear friends (who married September of 2009) is expecting their first February 2010. I know I smiled and looked halfway normal as I congratulated the soon-to-be grandfather, but I also know that I walked immediately out of church so that no one would see my tears and assume that hubby and I are having troubles or anything else that people assume when they see tears. I didn't realize how much it hurt...so that's that. I pray to conceive, but I also know that God is sovereign. It's just that I am so human...*sigh*

I've been a member for a while, but I stopped posting once I realized it wasn't happening like I wanted.
__________________
Mother to: "Annie" (12yrs old)

[AirMiami]

I'm joining this a little late, but I just wanted to pop in and say hi! We're trying for our second child, and I'm on an estrogen rest cycle right now, so we won't really start with all the injectables and everything until the end of August/beginning of September. I had a tumor on my pituitary gland, and when that was removed, a little bit of my pituitary gland went along with it so that's where my infertility is stemming from. I no longer produce FSH or LH on my own, so I use Menopur and Ovidrel to have a cycle, and we did an IUI as well just for that extra chance.

Sooo, I just wanted to pop in and say good luck to everyone! Also, I am really really really disliking Estrace this time around. It restores my libido, but it's made me SO bloated! I literally cannot button my jeans anymore, it's very depressing, but I supposed I should just get used to it because I'll hopefully be pregnant again soon and there's no way I'm getting my jeans up then either. On top of the bloating, it's causing some gastrointestinal issues with me too. Initially, it was making me very nauseated as well, but that resolved when I started taking all of my pills at night, rather than spacing them out through out the day. Is anyone else on this, or has been on this? Anyone else get really bloated on it?

EDIT: I'll add that I'm 27, oops forgot that part!

[indianagrl]

Hey Everybody! I'm still out here in Washington visiting DH; and yes, I am in the dry, hot part of the state If my cycle is going like the last few months have, I should be ovulating any day now.

DH is at the jobsite right now so what am I doing? Sitting in the hotel room watching a marathon of "A Baby Story". Am I crazy?! What is even more overwhelming are the commercials. DH and I do not watch TV at home and it is amazing how they try to sell you on stuff. "hippie" babies going to a "woodstock"-type concert wearing disposable diapers? Really? Anywho, just wanted to stop in and say HI and not just lurk

[chickeedoodle]

new member intro

Name: Chickeedoodle - Carla
Age: 40
TTC #: 2
CD: 12
DPO (if applicable): doing OPK's now
Testing: You name it, I've done it, probably more than once!
Trying Since: October, 2008
Plan for this Cycle: gearing up for IVF #1
Link to Chart (if applicable): n/a
Thoughts: Not sure why I'm not getting pg again...everyone wants to blame my age...could be true, I guess! I got pg with DS on first IUI (using donor sperm) in 2005. Started trying for #2 in Oct, 2008 (waited 18 months because of cesarean) and then did 5 IUI's all BFN. Next IUI BFP - m/c at 9.5 weeks (with last matching vial of donor sperm - talk about double heart-break!!) 3 more IUI's - BFN. RE suggested IVF. Sat with that thought for 6 months, looked into adoption, and now we're gearing up for IVF next month. Only have enough $ for one fresh cycle - hope there will be enough to freeze in case this fresh cycle is a bust. **looking for some support and hope**
Mother to: "M" (4yrs old)

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

Welcome our newest members! I hope your stay is short

AFM - Well, its looking like today is CD1 Its still pretty light, but I'm pretty sure it will be full force tonight. I got some new mama pads to 'break in' though so I'm not too bummed.

[lesliesara63]

This is so weird to say but I got a BFP this morning. Most of you weren't on here when I first started posting so I'll give you the run down of what we have tried. I did clomid/iui in Dec & Feb with a month of bc in between. Then Clomid/iui in March & April. The April one was a bust since I o'd way early. Then Femara/iui in May & June. All BFN. So at the end of June I met with my RE to discuss injectibles. We decide to do it August/September depending on how the dates fall with our vacation. So nothing this cycle we just randomly dtd a few times - not much. My cycles are usually 25-28 days with about three days of spotting first. I had a little bit of spotting on cd28 & 29. But way less than usual and then it stopped. Then I waited a few days. I used to POAS all the time, but I'm so sick of the head games I just couldn't do it. I just didn't want to get my hopes up even a little for something that seemed impossible. But there it was an actual BFP this morning. I'm way late now so none of that is it a line crap! Anyways I am just stunned and don't know what to think. HTH did this happen? I don't get it, we did drugs for months with nothing.

[milletpuff]

Rainy and MFG, I'm sorry. Sucks so much

lesliesara, that's fantastic! Congrats!! How are you feeling?! How did you tell your husband? I wish you an easy, boring, uneventful 9 months.

Hello to the new folks, I too hope your stay is short. Looks like there are a few of us who aren't trying until Sept, if I count correctly? We can hold down the fort

I went to an infertility support group last night. It blows my mind how wide the gulf is between the "get-its" and the "don't-get-its". It was so nice to sit in a room full of "get-its"!!! And my partner came with me, which was her first foray into getting any kind of external support around all this, which was just so nice. Made me feel much more "together" in all this.

Anyway, hope everyone else is doing well!

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

CONGRATS LESLIESARA!!!

When is your due date? Are you ready for me to move you?

[zanelee]

lesliesara-

This is so weird to say but I got a BFP this morning. 


WOOHOOOOOO!!!!
Congratulations!!!!

[brichole1214]

Originally Posted by lesliesara63

This is so weird to say but I got a BFP this morning. Most of you weren't on here when I first started posting so I'll give you the run down of what we have tried. I did clomid/iui in Dec & Feb with a month of bc in between. Then Clomid/iui in March & April. The April one was a bust since I o'd way early. Then Femara/iui in May & June. All BFN. So at the end of June I met with my RE to discuss injectibles. We decide to do it August/September depending on how the dates fall with our vacation. So nothing this cycle we just randomly dtd a few times - not much. My cycles are usually 25-28 days with about three days of spotting first. I had a little bit of spotting on cd28 & 29. But way less than usual and then it stopped. Then I waited a few days. I used to POAS all the time, but I'm so sick of the head games I just couldn't do it. I just didn't want to get my hopes up even a little for something that seemed impossible. But there it was an actual BFP this morning. I'm way late now so none of that is it a line crap! Anyways I am just stunned and don't know what to think. HTH did this happen? I don't get it, we did drugs for months with nothing.

CONGRATS LESLIE!!! When will you find out your due date? I'm so excited for you!!! This is the third graduation since i first started posting here in October or november of 2009!!!


I'm still praying for everyone else who hasn't gotten their BFPs and i hope that your future treatments work soon!!!!! I hope everyone is doing good and I've been lurking and checking in on everyone!!! I really miss you ladies...and it's sad but i'm sure that when me and DH decide to have another (because i'm sure we will...we both love kids) i'll be back because i'm the cause of our infertility problems.

LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!

[Rainy229]

lesliesara63 - CONGRATS!!!! (for sticky-ness!)!

Milletpuff - in IRL IF group sounds like a good thing... I understand about the "gets it..." I hope it continues to help out!

I'm on the upswing, emotionally; gearing up for O, excited about another chance...

--Rainy