anyone else find weekends hard?

[Devaya]

In the week, I hardly notice I'm a single parent most of the time b/c my time is filled with activity, seeing friends with my son coming along, playdates etc. On the weekend it's like I'm placed in a box that says 'single parent', and no one seems to have time for me. I do reach out and send sms messages, etc, but either I get no reply or people have plans already. All of my friends with kids are partnered - I've met one or two single moms in my area but didn't gel with them. Occasionally I'll meet with a non-mom friend on the weekend, she's always up for it, but she's very 'non child friendly' so it's more of a strain than anything else. It's understandable that people are spending time w their families (I have no family here except a sister I don't get on with), but it just feels hard.

I have to admit I feel lonely and isolated, and sad. It doesn't help that I spent a wonderful week in a communal living situation at a camping holiday where my son and I were both so supported, and everyone looked out for each other. It was a life changing experience, and life in the nuclear family city is just so different. I feel bad that I feel lonely when I'm with my son, but somehow it's more lonely than being alone (i've always been happy being alone).

[Avani]

Well i've got all my kids 24/7 and i get pretty lonely often. Seeing all the partnered folks enjoying their weeks and weekends is hard on me sometimes. I know i just have to find the happiness in each day no matter what because who knows if and when i may ever have a partner. But really i feel you. i would love a partner!

[Minxie]

Yeah, me, too. My son has a more active social life than I do right now, especially since we are in a new area and still trying to make friends. It doesn't help that I am an introvert anyway.

[MPJJJ]

I know exactly how you feel. I have social anxiety disorder and it is extremely hard for me to have people stick around long enough for me to feel comfortable around them and my true personality come out, and I am so lonely most of the time. It is hard. I feel guilty because I should be happy to spend all day every day with my kids, catching frogs and picking flowers, but there is a huge part of my life missing, and I dont know how to begin filling that void. Hugs to you.

[paakbaak]

oh weekends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh i don´t like them at all. never have really.
I felt horrible, very very depressing when I divorced. Now i´m back home and well, I look forward to being alone my kid and I since we live w my mom, but weekend suck. I´m sorry!

I used to make plans for those weekends. going to new parks, new places, anything new that requires planning, searching, anything that keeps you busy, very busy during the weekend!

maybe there are other single moms in your area, get in touch and get together on the weekends. that helped me ALOT!!!!!!

good luck!

oh, and just look at your kid´s face in the morning...your kid only wants a happy mom, be that for your kid and enjoy life!!!!

[Halfasianmomma]

I find week-ends exhausting more than anything because DD isn't in daycare and I want to make sure she gets lots of fun playtime like at the park and local kiddy pool...but at the same time, there's groceries, various shopping that needs to be done, laundry, and I *try* to have some "me" time in there (HA!).

[Phoenix~Mama]

*nods*

I know what you mean, and was thinking of a similiar post. Though it's not so much lonlieness, though I guess that would fit... I just like having someone to share all the neat things with!

Like, I really want to take DD on a day trip to the beach or the acquarium before the summer is out, but, I'm... I'm not sure what the exact emotion is scared/intimidated/not wanting to do it on my own... and my Mom keeps getting hit with mandatory overtime on the weekends we have DD!

So basically if I'm going to take her, I will have to do it on my own. I know it sounds weird... I have no problem parenting and playing with DD on my own around home, but a car trip and stuff sounds totally overwhelming to me to do by myself. Maybe just because I'm so gosh darn tired and pregnant and the thought of running after DD on a beach all day by myself sounds very unappealing. But I know she'd LOVE it, and I want to do something special with her this summer before DS comes.

Meh the catch 22 of being single I guess. lol

[meemee]

ooooh after a week of communal living i can understand the jarring weekend.

yes i know what you mean.

yes i walked the same path as you.

this was when dd was a baby.

and then i discovered if i needed something to happen i would have to do it myself.

and thus began my life with dd and me. it truly helps her enjoying most of everything i do.

i took her everywhere i went. art shows. music in the park, or at coffee shops. and somehow she became the go between. i started connecting with adults. i mean really conecting. sharing something we truly believe in. yet strangers.

today at almost 8 dd and i are a team. it doesnt matter if dd and i have company or not. actually now that i am in school there is A LOT of company. but dd and i are so used to hanging out by ourselves that that need for community in that sort of way is gone. i seem to always always find interesting people to talk to. and its wonderful to find we share some similar value or similar ideas.

[Devaya]

It's good to hear I am not alone in this.meemee, i like your ideas around being a team and doing things you enjoy and integrating your child in that...that's very much how I used to live, but since DS has got more and more verbal he's very insistent on going to the park (and seems to need the physical outlet), and to be honest, being in the park doing child centred activities day after day is making me want to bang my head against a wall. It's fine when I'm meeting friends there and have adult company, but lately that just hasn't been happening much, and as I said on the weekends everyone's off with their partners doing family stuff.

I feel more at peace about it at the moment,for some reason. I guess b/c I'm enjoying my son's company more again - it comes in cycles it seems!

[butterfly1976]

Oh my gosh! It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one who felt that way! I remember Thursday would come around, and the depression would set in. It took me awhile to figure it out what was causing it.

With being a single mom and homeschooling....well I'm with my kids quite often. But sometimes all of us need a break. As they've gotten older, that's gotten a little bit easier.

My dad passed 2 yrs ago, and my mom and I have had a falling out. I have no siblings or close friends, so it does suck sometimes. I've had a boyfriend for over a year now...but to tell the truth, I sure do miss those times alone.

I try to reach out to people from time to time, but like someone else said, sometimes you just don't gel with others. I had a cousin who only wanted to go to the bars.....and another who is very religious.....I always felt like an outcast wherever I go. The older I've gotten, the less I've cared though. LOL

The only advice I could give is to maybe try to continue to reach out to others. Maybe you'll find that special person in your life. I do say again, I completely understand how you feel.

Wishing you the best.........

[Devaya]

Thank you, Butterfly1976. I'm going up to see friends in a nearby city on some weekends lately, which really helps. Sometimes I need to get outside the bubble of the place i live in, because it can feel like a bit of a rut. Also going out to the country sometimes helps, although again, I'd prefer to have someone (an adult) to share it with. I can sort of relate to the feeling like an outcast thing - I am sort of the most 'hippie-ish' person out of all the moms I know but that's not something that's going to change. People mostly accept me, but sometimes I yearn for my own kind!