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Please tell me your 3 yr. old is making your life hell - Page 2

post #21 of 70
My little one is still pretty easy going and hasn't hit a hard stage yet...BUT my future MIL keeps a little girl every weekend that I can't stand to be around. It's to the point that I won't go and visit when I know she's there. MIL tells her no and she says "yes" and does whatever she wants anyways..hits, cries, takes fits, throws things...she's a pain in the you-know-what.
post #22 of 70
...glad I'm not alone. I am so so so struggling with DD right now. We're a couple months shy of 4 and I'm hoping we'll turn a corner then...(HA!)
post #23 of 70
My ds was a sweet little guy until two months before his 3rd birthday. I thought it was rough until about 3.5. Just as soon as things smoothed out and he was easier to work with......here came his 4th birthday. I would generally say that this was the toughest year ever and it's still ongoing with his 5th birthday just around the corner. May sound a fair bit heartless, but I'm quite excited to send him off to kindergarten this fall!
post #24 of 70
Aw man, 3 IS tough. My daughter is really well-behaved most of the time, but when she wants to be difficult UGH. I rely on getting out of the house for my sanity. Being at home is much more difficult.
post #25 of 70
LOL. I am do in all of your boats. I have a 5/07 little boy. Before he turned 3 he was difficult, but handleable. Now, all bets are off. I've cancelled camping trips with the grandparents, etc to prove to him that his misbehaving will result in revoking of "the good things." One of my wise old friends said to me more than once to appreciate each phase because it will be gone soon and something more challenging will replace it....as she laughed. She is on round two (her is raising her 3 grandkids who are teens!). Have to say that she is right so far. But the hugs and kisses more than make up for the frustrating moments.
post #26 of 70
Today, we were the people in the grocery store that everyone stared at and thought "What an awful mom, how can she not control her kid" . . . I'm so freaking sick of tantrums, contrariness, not listening, and disobedience. I think I've tried every parenting technique and my little girl finds a way around each one. She is so smart and at times so loving. Other times, yeesh! Since she turned three, I really feel like there is this wedge between us and it makes me so sad.

What I've tried with her . . .
Gentle communication=total ignoring of me.
Take away privileges like stories=screaming at the top of her lungs or continuing to do whatever she wants.
Yelling=Total ignoring of me.
Time outs=Pitching a fit and total ignoring of me.

So what techniques do you mothers use for your kids? It isn't like I'm trying to get her to do something outrageous, just things like not pitching a fit because we have to go to the grocery, not running away from me when a whim strikes her, not screaming about her bath.
post #27 of 70
^^^ I think nothing really works in the moment. Sorry! Maybe leave them at home with daddy if possible

And make sure they are fed and well rested. DS had 13 hrs of sleep last night and our day was beyond amazing. Of course tonight he is complaining of growing pains and doing every little thing possible to not go to bed. sigh.
post #28 of 70
IT"S NOT JUST ME!!! WHOO-HOO!!!!

My 3 yr. old DD ran and hid from me tonight because I was trying to have her come with me inside the house because she was being mean to the other kids while playing outside.

(I'd already talked to and warned her outside.)
'
Then she ran out the door and hid again.

Can't keep chasing the child, it just makes me more mad and she thinks it's funny.

It appears *that* is what she wants because when I STOPPED chasing her, she calmed down and played just fine, thanks. (don't know if it was me actually bringing her into the house that clued her in that I was serious or what)

And it seems unfair to me to make the baby come in because his sister can't behave with the other kids....so I really hate to say or enforce that. (and as she showed me tonight i can't always)

I was NOT willing to have her go to bed at 6-7 PM either...my other 'consequence' is to end the evening by having her come in, eat, bath, bed, nothing else, when she misbehaves outside.

oh she also likes to talk back. I've been trying to ignore it but when Grandma gives her the reaction she wants (and I once in awhile forget) it doesn't stop. (attempts to explain why we don't talk this way result in repeated use of the unwanted word/phrase or a new, but not improved word/phrase)
I've decided since I can't stop her reaction, I CAN stop mine and refuse to give it any power over me.....
post #29 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazer View Post
Today, we were the people in the grocery store that everyone stared at and thought "What an awful mom, how can she not control her kid" . . . I'm so freaking sick of tantrums, contrariness, not listening, and disobedience. I think I've tried every parenting technique and my little girl finds a way around each one. She is so smart and at times so loving. Other times, yeesh! Since she turned three, I really feel like there is this wedge between us and it makes me so sad.

What I've tried with her . . .
Gentle communication=total ignoring of me.
Take away privileges like stories=screaming at the top of her lungs or continuing to do whatever she wants.
Yelling=Total ignoring of me.
Time outs=Pitching a fit and total ignoring of me.

So what techniques do you mothers use for your kids? It isn't like I'm trying to get her to do something outrageous, just things like not pitching a fit because we have to go to the grocery, not running away from me when a whim strikes her, not screaming about her bath.
We've tried all of these things too, to no avail. Oldest dd is 3.5, and I swear that I'm going crazy many, many days. I sometimes don't remember what her normal voice sounds like because she whines, screams, and yells all day. I try to console myself by saying that at least she won't ever be a people-pleaser...
post #30 of 70
I am so so so glad I'm not alone, and so happy to come accross this thread right now- I'm currently hiding in the computer room because ds is driving me beyond crazy this afternoon. It doesn't matter what I say, he has to argue with me. He whines about everything, and he spends all day asking questions then arguing with whatever my answer is. Is there a tearing-my-hair-out smilie?

He'll be 4 in a couple of months, and I don't know whether it'll be better or worse. He's always been fairly high needs, sensitive, and difficult, so I'm really hoping I finally get a bit of a break once we hit 4. Hey, a tired mama can dream, right?
post #31 of 70
Oh, I am just overjoyed to find this thread! I have been wondering since 2.5yo if DS has some special needs, but it's so hard to tell between the "normal" bat-shit crazy stuff they do and what really is not normal.

Mine whines, screams, tantrums and generally carries on ALL DAY LONG. He's aggressive, manipulative, disobedient, and just generally ANNOYING. God, could he ask me one more question?! I'm about going crazy answering his every single question! I even told him once "Mommy will only answer one more question, and then I'd like to be quiet for a while." which was met with "Why do you want to be quiet for a while?"
post #32 of 70
Bar none, two times around the block, 3 yr olds have me daydreaming about running away to live in a cave.

The worst age, worse than 2 yr olds. Challenged me on every last nerve fibre I had. This is likely why we'll stop at 2 kids.

ETA: 4 yr olds are a DREAM...like, the 3 yr old's doppelganger. Look forward to that. I always say that 4 is my favourite age. They suddenly emerge out of the whiny, tantrumy, screamy, cry-y kidlets into wonderful, wondrous, talkative, caring children.
post #33 of 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Bar none, two times around the block, 3 yr olds have me daydreaming about running away to live in a cave.

The worst age, worse than 2 yr olds. Challenged me on every last nerve fibre I had. This is likely why we'll stop at 2 kids.

ETA: 4 yr olds are a DREAM...like, the 3 yr old's doppelganger. Look forward to that. I always say that 4 is my favourite age. They suddenly emerge out of the whiny, tantrumy, screamy, cry-y kidlets into wonderful, wondrous, talkative, caring children.
Do you promise that this happens? I sometimes feel as if the whiny, crying, tantrumy child is here to stay...forever. If I knew that there was an end in sight, perhaps I could summon more patience.
post #34 of 70
I love my DS2 like crazy, but he is MAKING me crazy! He is so loud, so defiant, so disobedient, and sometimes just plain old rude! There is just no break from him. He's with me 24/7 and he's an intense kid, always has been, though the way he's intense has changed. He's not clingy like he was as a baby, but he is very touchy. So anything we do together, he's half on top of me. And sometimes I just want to be left alone. *sigh*
post #35 of 70
I know that at times it feels like you are floating in outerspace and no one can hear you screaming, but you are not alone!

My DD is 3.75 years old. She is intelligent, thoughtful, caring and loving. That being said, there are moments when I feel that my head will explode. She will literally go from fun, laughing and balanced child to total HORROR SHOW. This of course ALWAYS happens when we are in public. Yesterday she kicked her shoes off on the subway and then threw herself on the floor between standing passengers and begin to scream pathetically. This happens often and we must exit the train at some stop in between until she calms down. Things like this happen out of the blue. They happen on the train, on the street, in the store, in the hallway of our apartment building. Then, she'll snap out of it as quickly as she got into it.

I'm sure that people think I'm a terrible parent and can't control my own child. I told DH last night that I feel so much guilt for wanting her to grow up. There are times when I just think I can't take it anymore.
post #36 of 70

And here is my post about my 3 year old that drove me crazy

He is now 4 and much better

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...862&highlight=
post #37 of 70
dd was the perfect little angel at 2. it was like a switch flipped at 3 though, and now at 4.5, well, we have our good days and our bad days. she's a good kid, but the fresh mouth and rudeness just hits that button, ya know. at least she reserves it for dh and i and not other people i guess. i'm frequently told that she doesn't like me, which is fine. she doesn't have to like me. i've found that trying to carve out more one on one time for her sometimes helps. even if it's letting her stay up a little bit late to go grocery shopping with me while dh stays home with ds. overall, we just plod thru and hope that 5 will be a calmer age
post #38 of 70
I desperately need to make my DH read this threat. My DD will be 4 in a month and a half and boy. Yes she can be sweet, loving, charming and hillarious. But also, as others have mentioned a horror show. I am particularly perplexed by the fits about apparently noting. I.e. discussing days getting longer and shorter, then "And today is the solstice." "Noooooooooooooo. I don't waaaaaaant it to be the solstice!" Fit. cut hastily to black. Hunh? What on earth am I supposed to do with that?

Lately we are back into nightime battles if she wakes with growing pains, cries, wont do anything to help herself, wont allow us to do anything helpful and then carries on keeping everyone from sleeping. I know she is out of cope at night, but so is DH and there have been times have have had to tell them both to cool it. Ugh.
post #39 of 70
I can totally relate. I honestly don't like my 3 year old much of the time. He is a demanding, whiny, miserable little kid. Today, I actually broke down crying after one of his yelling spells. I really feel like I am at the end of my rope. Nothing seems to get through to him. I agree that getting the kids out of the house helps, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like worth the effort. I am keeping him because we can't afford pre-school in the fall and frankly I don't know how I am going to handle it. I keep hoping 4 will be better, but my older son actually became more difficult at 4 (we called it the "f*&%ing fours"). Sometimes I think I need professional help to deal with him.
That being said. He is such a smart, articulate little guy with an incredible imagination and can be so sweet. Unfortunately, the sweet moments are greatly outnumbered by the hellish ones!
post #40 of 70
Thread Starter 
OP here. I went out of town for a while and came back to see so many responses. I'm so glad to know that I am not alone. Things have been slightly better, mostly due in part to my determination not to lose it. It's not easy though. I'm totally understanding the 3:00 martini thing. I think if we kept alcohol in the house I'd be doing a lot of drinking these days.
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