sister needs to wean ASAP, med. emergency

[Nova0929]

My sister has a 22 month old who l-o-v-e-s to nurse. They just moved about 2 months ago and her daughter has wanted to nurse a lot more than she did before, and my friend realizes it's probably because she needs to feel grounded in her new place. She also nurses her daughter to sleep for naps and to sleep at bedtime. However, she has just been diagnosed with a brain tumor on her pituitary gland, and needs to start medication to shrink it / alleviate its effects soon. She needs to stop nursing before she takes the medication, and doctors have said, okay, you can wait 1-2 months but you *really* can't wait longer. So she needs to wean off the constant daytime comfort nursing, and help her daughter get to sleep for naps and bedtime without nursing.

Do you have any advice? What else can she do to comfort in daytime? Her daughter cries and wails for "nursie, nursie" all the time. When she is with her daddy (whom she adores) she still asks for "Mama, mama, mama, mama, nursie" after only about 1 hour of being away from her. And she cries and cries and cries when trying to sleep without nursing, clutching at her mama's breasts, hands, etc. I am still nursing my 21 month old son and I have no ideas for her!

Btw, docs say tumor is benign and she will recover! Thanks for any help; I'll pass it on to my sis.

[Katie T]

I have no good advise, but couldn't read with out giving you a

How sad for her little girl and scary for her, you and your family. The subforums are slow sometimes so if you don't get a response here maybe try the main breastfeeding forum.

Good luck to your sister, I hope it is a smooth journey.

[MunchiesMom]

What a diffucult time. My thoughts and prayer are with you and your family. I don't know exactly what to say but have a few random thoughts. I hope something I say helps!

1. First double check with LLL and other BF resources that she cannot nurse while taking these meds. I'd guess she can't, but so many times docs say you can't when it's totally fine.

2. I saw some posts on KellyMom on the "2YO nursing" forum and there was a mother there who was in a similar situation. You might have luck searching KellyMom. I'll look for the thread.

3. Two months to wean is better and can happen easier than weaning in a day. I wonder what she has said/done already? I'd imgine she's under a lot of stress right now... and if her daughter picks up on that it may make her want to nurse even more. Maybe she could stop totally refusing the breast, but decreasing the number of sessions. Sometimes hearing 'no' makes toddlers want something so much more, you know?

4. It stuck out to me that you are nursing your toddler. I'm not sure how, but I feel like you can play a role in this difficult situation.

[D_McG]

I weaned my son by first putting us on a schedule (picked times during the day when we'd nurse and never deviate from it) and then cutting out one scheduled time each week. It took 2 months although could have been quicker (if I were your sister I'm not sure I'd wait the full 2 months).

Children are so resilient. She'll adjust in no time. The key for me was my confidence. I knew what we needed to do. My role was to lead my son to where we needed to go.

Best of luck to her in her recovery!

[dealic]

It probably isn't realistic but I thought I would throw it out in case she hasn't thought of it and could swing it...

How long does she need to take the medication? If its a short time, is there any way she could pump in advance then use pumped milk to get through the time she can't nurse. Pump during to keep supply up, then nurse afterwards? Somehow explain that the nursies are sick and we will cuddle and use a bottle but they will be better soon?

Do you live close and could you help somehow? Would you nurse her sometimes? Do you have milk she will take?

[LittleLegos]

I had a similar situation where I needed to take drugs which have a long half life and are contraindicated for breastfeeding mothers. Some things that helped me and my nursling were to nurse for shorter periods of time, decreasing the milk along the way. So the child didn't feel totally deprived, she got some frequency, but just little sips. I'd ask how many she'd like and she said 2, which was usually 10, but we worked it out. A few times she was going to sleep and wouldn't stop at the "2" and sometimes I took her off and other times we just let that one slide.

I explained to my toddler what was happening, children are amazing.

Another way we'd go to sleep was her back against my chest and my arms wrapped around her. Then we'd hold hands in front of her. We'd snuggle instead of nursing.

Also together we talked about things we like to do together and then we'd try them during the day/night. For example, I'd say what kind of things can we try if you are feeling sad? If you are tired? I also provided suggestions and she would say yes or no.

My child was a bit older, but it is possible. Also my child had been an occasional thumb sucker and had stopped just 8 months before. It was almost like she had forgotten she ever did it, but then she did end up taking up the thumb again, which I think really helped her too.

It can be a really sad thing to need to wean before either mom or child are ready. Supporting your sister emotionally may be a big part too.

Checking about the meds maybe be helpful too. At one point we "nursed" once a week around the meds (half life), it was virtually dry nursing due to the fact that I lowered the milk supply to almost nothing (on purpose). Then after I was done with the meds she'd "nurse" a bit once in a while. There was no milk, but she still felt good about "nursing."

Amy

[nachipmunks]

I started to wean my 23 month old when I was about 4 months pregnant from night nursing then day. When she got up to nurse at nights, I would give to her dad and she would moan but go back to sleep. We then replaced nursing to sleep with story time, rocking and singing. If your sister is up to it she could pump and store the milk and offer it in a cup. At 22 months your niece may want to comfort nurse. Your sister could explain mommy can't give you milk but we could snuggle and read and sing. I used to tell my daughter the milk is for the baby in mommy's belly and it worked. I was mad at myself weaning but had to. Good luck and my prayer are with your sister and family.

[Thursday Girl]

I was reading the book "the ultimate breastfeeding answer book" by Dr. Jack Newman and he was saying there are a lot of instances when you are told you have to wean but you really don't. could she check with him? He said a lot of dr's don't know which drugs you can actually safely nurse your babies on adn that a lot of times if you can't nurse with one drug, you can still use another.

dr.jack newman's info on breastfeeding and medication. There is contact infor for him on that page as well.