So, obviously I am going to try to keep ex from having any unsupervised visitation with Owen, but since he's asking in court I'm sure he'll get *something*. So here is my first draft proposal. I have a few days to tweak it before I can talk to my lawyer about it.
ETA- I actually think I'm going to change it so that step one is from 8am-2pm on Friday and Saturday and 8am-noon on Sunday. Then step 1 below will actually become step 2 and so on down the line. I don't think that's fair to Owen to put him in a situation where he's in a virtual strangers care for 12 full hours in a row after not being in his care alone for years (and when he was in his care alone it was never for more than 3 hours at a time).
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To ensure Owen’s safety, Matthew must prove he can provide Owen a safe house and car, free of smoke and pet dander before any visits can occur in his home or transportation can occur in his car.
Step 1- Stephanie will bring Owen to Michigan a minimum of 4 times per year for one weekend each (arriving Thursday night and leaving Sunday afternoon). These dates will be determined according to Owen’s school schedule so that he misses as little school as possible. Matthew will have parenting time on these weekends from 8am-8pm on Friday and Saturday and from 8am-noon on Sunday. In addition to this, Stephanie will inform Matthew of all breaks from school (spring, summer, fall, holiday) and Matthew will make an effort to visit Owen in Kentucky on any/all of these breaks if Owen is not in Michigan at those times. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by Matthew. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 1 will last one year, starting from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed step 1 and has proven that his home and car are smoke free, as well as having an adequate sleeping area for Owen, and provided Owen has not regressed or showing signs that he is not transitioning well, he will move onto step 2.
Step 2- Stephanie will bring Owen to Michigan a minimum of 4 times per year for one weekend each (arriving Thursday night and leaving Sunday afternoon). These dates will be determined according to Owen’s school schedule so that he misses as little school as possible. Matthew will have parenting time on these weekends from 8am Friday to 8am Saturday, 2pm-8pm Saturday and 8am-noon Sunday. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available at 8pm Friday for Stephanie to call and talk to him. In addition to this, Stephanie will inform Matthew of all breaks from school (spring, summer, fall, holiday) and Matthew will make an effort to visit Owen in Kentucky on any/all of these breaks if Owen is not in Michigan at those times. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by Matthew. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 2 will last one year, starting from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed one full year at step 2, and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs that he is not handling this transition, Matthew will move onto step 3.
Step 3- Stephanie will bring Owen to Michigan a minimum of 4 times per year for one weekend each (arriving Thursday night and leaving Sunday afternoon). These dates will be determined according to Owen’s school schedule so that he misses as little school as possible. Matthew will have parenting time from 8am Friday to 8am Sunday. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available at 8pm on both Saturday and Sunday for Stephanie to call and talk to him. In addition to this, Stephanie will inform Matthew of all breaks from school (spring, summer, fall, holiday) and Matthew will make an effort to visit Owen in Kentucky on any/all of these breaks if Owen is not in Michigan at those times. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by Matthew. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 3 will last one year from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed one full year at step 3 and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs he is not handling the transition he will move onto step 4.
Step 4- Matthew will be responsible for picking Owen up from Kentucky and either staying in Kentucky or bringing Owen back to Michigan for his parenting time (whichever Matthew chooses). Matthew will also be responsible for bringing Owen back to Kentucky, unless the parties agree on something different. Matthew’s parenting time will include 4 days (from 8am on the first day until 8 pm on the 4th day) on Owen’s spring break. Also included will be a 4 day visit in June (from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 4th day), after Owen’s school is dismissed for the summer as well as a 4 day visit in July (from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 4th day). These visits must be at least 2 weeks apart. In addition Matthew will have parenting time for 4 days during Owen’s winter vacation (from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 4th day). On odd years Matthew will have the option of this occurring during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. On even years Stephanie will have parenting time during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available by phone every night at 8pm so Stephanie can call and talk to him. Stephanie will inform Matthew of Owen’s spring break, summer break and winter break dates by January 1st. Matthew will inform Stephanie of the dates he wishes to exercise his parenting time for that year by February 1st. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 4 will last one year from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed step 4, and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs that he is not handling this transition, Matthew will move onto step 5.
Step 5- Matthew will be responsible for picking Owen up from Kentucky and either staying in Kentucky or bringing Owen back to Michigan for his parenting time (whichever Matthew chooses). Matthew will also be responsible for bringing Owen back to Kentucky, unless the parties agree on something different. Matthew’s parenting time will include 7 days during Owen’s spring break, 7 days during June (after Owen’s school has dismissed), 7 days during July and 7 days on winter break. The visits in June and July must be at least 2 weeks apart. Each of these visits will occur from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 7th day. On odd years Matthew will have the option of his parenting time occurring during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. On even years Stephanie will have parenting time during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available by phone at 8pm every night so that Stephanie can call and talk to him. Stephanie will inform Matthew of Owen’s spring, summer and winter breaks by January 1st. Matthew will inform Stephanie of the dates he would like to exercise his parenting time by February 1st. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 5 will last one year from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed step 5, and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs that he is not handling this transition, Matthew will move onto step 6.
Step 6- Matthew will be responsible for picking Owen up from Kentucky and either staying in Kentucky or bringing Owen back to Michigan for his parenting time (whichever Matthew chooses). Matthew will also be responsible for bringing Owen back to Kentucky, unless the parties agree on something different. Matthew’s parenting time will include 7 days during Owen’s spring break, 14 days in June, 14 days in July and 7 days during Owen’s holiday break. The visits in June and July must be at least 2 weeks apart. The parenting time during Owen’s holiday break may occur on Christmas Eve and Christmas day on odd years. On even years Stephanie will have parenting time on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Each of these visits will occur from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the last day. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available by phone at 8pm every night so that Stephanie can call and talk to him. Stephanie will inform Matthew of Owen’s spring, summer and winter breaks by January 1st. Matthew will inform Stephanie of the dates he would like to exercise his parenting time by February 1st. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that.
ETA- I actually think I'm going to change it so that step one is from 8am-2pm on Friday and Saturday and 8am-noon on Sunday. Then step 1 below will actually become step 2 and so on down the line. I don't think that's fair to Owen to put him in a situation where he's in a virtual strangers care for 12 full hours in a row after not being in his care alone for years (and when he was in his care alone it was never for more than 3 hours at a time).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To ensure Owen’s safety, Matthew must prove he can provide Owen a safe house and car, free of smoke and pet dander before any visits can occur in his home or transportation can occur in his car.
Step 1- Stephanie will bring Owen to Michigan a minimum of 4 times per year for one weekend each (arriving Thursday night and leaving Sunday afternoon). These dates will be determined according to Owen’s school schedule so that he misses as little school as possible. Matthew will have parenting time on these weekends from 8am-8pm on Friday and Saturday and from 8am-noon on Sunday. In addition to this, Stephanie will inform Matthew of all breaks from school (spring, summer, fall, holiday) and Matthew will make an effort to visit Owen in Kentucky on any/all of these breaks if Owen is not in Michigan at those times. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by Matthew. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 1 will last one year, starting from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed step 1 and has proven that his home and car are smoke free, as well as having an adequate sleeping area for Owen, and provided Owen has not regressed or showing signs that he is not transitioning well, he will move onto step 2.
Step 2- Stephanie will bring Owen to Michigan a minimum of 4 times per year for one weekend each (arriving Thursday night and leaving Sunday afternoon). These dates will be determined according to Owen’s school schedule so that he misses as little school as possible. Matthew will have parenting time on these weekends from 8am Friday to 8am Saturday, 2pm-8pm Saturday and 8am-noon Sunday. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available at 8pm Friday for Stephanie to call and talk to him. In addition to this, Stephanie will inform Matthew of all breaks from school (spring, summer, fall, holiday) and Matthew will make an effort to visit Owen in Kentucky on any/all of these breaks if Owen is not in Michigan at those times. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by Matthew. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 2 will last one year, starting from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed one full year at step 2, and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs that he is not handling this transition, Matthew will move onto step 3.
Step 3- Stephanie will bring Owen to Michigan a minimum of 4 times per year for one weekend each (arriving Thursday night and leaving Sunday afternoon). These dates will be determined according to Owen’s school schedule so that he misses as little school as possible. Matthew will have parenting time from 8am Friday to 8am Sunday. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available at 8pm on both Saturday and Sunday for Stephanie to call and talk to him. In addition to this, Stephanie will inform Matthew of all breaks from school (spring, summer, fall, holiday) and Matthew will make an effort to visit Owen in Kentucky on any/all of these breaks if Owen is not in Michigan at those times. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by Matthew. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 3 will last one year from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed one full year at step 3 and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs he is not handling the transition he will move onto step 4.
Step 4- Matthew will be responsible for picking Owen up from Kentucky and either staying in Kentucky or bringing Owen back to Michigan for his parenting time (whichever Matthew chooses). Matthew will also be responsible for bringing Owen back to Kentucky, unless the parties agree on something different. Matthew’s parenting time will include 4 days (from 8am on the first day until 8 pm on the 4th day) on Owen’s spring break. Also included will be a 4 day visit in June (from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 4th day), after Owen’s school is dismissed for the summer as well as a 4 day visit in July (from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 4th day). These visits must be at least 2 weeks apart. In addition Matthew will have parenting time for 4 days during Owen’s winter vacation (from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 4th day). On odd years Matthew will have the option of this occurring during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. On even years Stephanie will have parenting time during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available by phone every night at 8pm so Stephanie can call and talk to him. Stephanie will inform Matthew of Owen’s spring break, summer break and winter break dates by January 1st. Matthew will inform Stephanie of the dates he wishes to exercise his parenting time for that year by February 1st. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 4 will last one year from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed step 4, and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs that he is not handling this transition, Matthew will move onto step 5.
Step 5- Matthew will be responsible for picking Owen up from Kentucky and either staying in Kentucky or bringing Owen back to Michigan for his parenting time (whichever Matthew chooses). Matthew will also be responsible for bringing Owen back to Kentucky, unless the parties agree on something different. Matthew’s parenting time will include 7 days during Owen’s spring break, 7 days during June (after Owen’s school has dismissed), 7 days during July and 7 days on winter break. The visits in June and July must be at least 2 weeks apart. Each of these visits will occur from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the 7th day. On odd years Matthew will have the option of his parenting time occurring during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. On even years Stephanie will have parenting time during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available by phone at 8pm every night so that Stephanie can call and talk to him. Stephanie will inform Matthew of Owen’s spring, summer and winter breaks by January 1st. Matthew will inform Stephanie of the dates he would like to exercise his parenting time by February 1st. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that. Step 5 will last one year from the date of the first visit.
If at any time Matthew fails to exercise his parenting time or fails to call at a scheduled time (without first discussing a change in time with Stephanie) he will start the one year countdown over again, to ensure the routine and consistency Owen needs to thrive.
When Matthew has successfully completed step 5, and as long as Owen is not regressing or showing signs that he is not handling this transition, Matthew will move onto step 6.
Step 6- Matthew will be responsible for picking Owen up from Kentucky and either staying in Kentucky or bringing Owen back to Michigan for his parenting time (whichever Matthew chooses). Matthew will also be responsible for bringing Owen back to Kentucky, unless the parties agree on something different. Matthew’s parenting time will include 7 days during Owen’s spring break, 14 days in June, 14 days in July and 7 days during Owen’s holiday break. The visits in June and July must be at least 2 weeks apart. The parenting time during Owen’s holiday break may occur on Christmas Eve and Christmas day on odd years. On even years Stephanie will have parenting time on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Each of these visits will occur from 8am on the first day until 8pm on the last day. Matthew will ensure that Owen is available by phone at 8pm every night so that Stephanie can call and talk to him. Stephanie will inform Matthew of Owen’s spring, summer and winter breaks by January 1st. Matthew will inform Stephanie of the dates he would like to exercise his parenting time by February 1st. To continue the relationship between visits, Matthew will call Owen at minimum 3 days per week, on a set schedule (same day/time every week, unless otherwise agreed upon by both parties) as determined by. Owen’s school hours are between 7:45am-3:35 pm. Matthew is also encouraged to send Owen letters or cards and Stephanie will ensure that if Owen chooses to send anything to Matthew then she will facilitate that.
Thanks! Again, I'm not going to say too much here about our plan until all is said and done but know I am listening to all suggestion 
