I think I should be sad right now

[hillymum]

But after crying for the last 3 hours I am actually relieved! My husband has hurt me so much during our 14 years together that now he's told me he doesn't know if he wants to be my husband anymore I find myself hoping he thinks that he's made the right decission! I want him tone the one that's broken this marrige! If he says he wants another chance it's going to have to be me who says it's over. How much of a bitch does that make me?
My (our) middle son is devastated but that's largely due to him panicing that he will be getting a new dad. Tomorrow I will get a good chance to sit down with the boys and explain to them they will spend as much quality time with their dad as they do now.
It's so ironic that dh's reasons for separating is that he feels we lead seperate lives. It was his decission to move us from md to ky and for him to then get a job back in md! Ha ha! Funny!
He also said I spend too much! I hand empty the vacuum cleaner bag to save $$$. How much more frugal can I get? I have one pair of sandles, one pair of trainers and a wordrobe that lasts less than a week! I only buy clearance rack clothe. For the kids and then it's off season! I don't wear make up, I might get my hair cut twice a year if I'm lucky, and I cut the boys hair myself! For the wife of a man earning six figures I spend nothing!
Im ranting! I know I am. It's 2:30am and I can't talk to anyone. Iwant to scream and shout but I can't so here I am. Telling you!
Thanks for reading!

[lookatreestar]

i felt the same way when i got out of an abusive relationship. like i should have been sad but i was sooo tired and just done that i was happy and my future looked brighter.

hang in there mama

[lucysmom]

You should trust that voice that says "I hope he doesn't change his mind." It's telling you you really do need it to be over. I urge you not to get hung up on the question of who ended the relationship. If it's you who formally says "it's ending," that doesn't mean it was you who created the conditions that made that the right decision. Your kids need to see that you are capable of making decisions in your own interests & ultimately in theirs.

I stayed in a very problematic relationship for a long time because I didn't want to be the one to leave. It was some kind of stubbornness or a need not to abandon my partner, a button he was able to push reliably ("I can say/do anything to do and then accuse you of being about to abandon me, which you deny, so you have to prove that you won't abandon me by staying"). You know what? It is not admirable to just take whatever comes your way because you don't be the one to say "enough." Please don't get stuck on that.

Not saying you should end your marriage -- not enough information here by a long shot for someone else to make that determination -- but if that little voice in your head is saying so, you should probably listen to it.

Good luck!