I'm not too sure that sending a not quite one year old baby who has no connection with her dad out to dinner with him would be to her benefit. She doesn't know him, is at the stage of separation anxiety, and nurses frequently. She is totally capable of drinking from a sippy cup and fully capable of spending at least an hour with people whom she knows. My friends who have been around for her whole year of life, she likes them and goes to them willingly. The last time, and this was back in March, that he attempted to see her she started screaming when he tried to take her from me and he just left.
When i was pregnant i attempted to keep him involved. I sent him ultrasound pictures and would call and send letters with updates. He never once responded and i eventually stopped. When i did birth i did not contact him. However my midwife was friends with him and she ran into him a few days after the birth. He acted all upset that i didn't let him know she was born. Yet he knows my phone number and where i live. In fact the man lives only 5 minutes away from me. On top of that he has a son who lives part time right next door to me. He picks that son twice a week from my neighbor and sees me frequently outside and at our children's school. There was no lack of him having an opportunity to ask me how i or the baby was. He called me once a few days after she was born asking if i was going to file child support. I attempted to set up a visit for him and he never showed on three separate occasions. So i stopped trying. I offered in my home, at a park, a restaurant and he would never show. He did visit a few times and in my home even though i offered the other places. When he wouldn't show i stopped trying. At one point he started coming to my house frequently to try and see her and i told him to stop just showing and that he needed to call first. But he kept showing up and i would hand him the baby and he would take her for a little walk around where i lived. That eventually stopped and even though i left an open offer for him to see her he has never tried. Since she was of six months of age i offered for him to start with 1-2 hour visits with me at a local place until she was clearly comfortable with him and then he could start taking her for visits on his own. I told him if he was consistent i was sure she would feel comfortable within a few weeks. I said he could bring a friend with him if that made him feel more comfortable. He never took me up on the offer. I told him this fall i would be in school full time and maybe if he could start doing the short visits to get her acclimated to him that maybe he could help with her more. He never responded. I'm pretty sure that i couldn't have been more giving or lenient with what i have offered. And like i said he is merely five minutes away from me, unemployed for the summer and taking vacations one after the other. There is no lack of time and i have made open offers in a multitude of locations for him. One day back in March he asked if he could visit her. I told him she had a Dr's appt. that day but he could come with. His reply ( and this is saved on my text messages) that is my only day off and i'm not going to spend it at the Dr's with her. I think i have done enough on my end.
