anyone else with a newborn + a toddler?

[mommariffic]

Wyatt was born 4 days ago

So far so good with DD; I have had family here every day helping so I can rest, and she's getting plenty of attention from everyone. Next week it's going to go back to me, her, and now her brother and while I'm not worried per-say I would just love tips on balancing taking care of a newborn and making sure that my almost 3 year old gets plenty of attention.

I hired my mothers helper for the next 3 weeks because I don't want to bring DS out yet, and so I can get some sleep during the day while she takes DD to the park but..what else?

[spmamma]

DD was almost 2.5 when DS was born. She's always needed a lot of my attention, so one thing I did to help myself out (and meet her needs) was sit and read books to her while DS nursed/slept.

Also, give your older one little jobs to help out with the baby and make her feel important (bringing you a diaper, learning how to wipe the baby's chin when he spits up, etc.)

Congratulations and good luck!

[mrspineau]

I have a little boy who's two and I'm due to have a little girl in September! Very exciting, scary, etc. lol but I can't wait.

[JessieBird]

I'm not in your shoes yet but come October, I'll have a 22 mo and a newborn. Yikes!

I've been talking a lot to my friend who has an 18 mo and a 5 week old. Things are going really well. Her biggest piece of advice is to ALWAYS (okay, whenever humanly possible) meet the toddler's needs first. According to her, the baby will never remember if his diaper was dirty for an extra minute or two while the toddler's feelings will definitely be hurt if we are constantly saying, "just a minute, let me just... for the baby." She said the hardest part is not being able to be "as AP" with the second because your attention is divided. I imagine this could be helped with lots of baby wearing and the fact of the matter is that AP will mean different things / require different approaches once there is more than one child in the picture.

I'm curious to see what others have to say about this and what great tips the experienced mamas can share!

Another friend of mine also said, like pp, that asking the toddler to help out with baby tasks was a great help to her and made the toddler feel important and included.

[Sage_SS]

I've BTDT three times. I really emphasized that the baby I held in my arms, or that we watched sleep, was her SISTER. My baby but her sister. We pushed that hard and heavy. We used the term "sister" more often than any word, well mabye "is, the and a" were used more, but just. LOL
The kids are all older now, except my son who's 19 months, but everyone who comes around comments on how close they are and how its evident how much they care for each other.

[angelachristin]

my son was 2 months shy of 3 years old when DD was born. THe first weeks were hard when you're doing nothing but BF the newborn all day, but after that...babywearing is your friend.

[Nicole730]

DS was 22 months when DD was born. I think it has all gone very well so far. The biggest thing I think is not ever saying you can't help the older one or do something with him, unless you absolutely cannot. And in those situations say it is baby's turn right now, it will be your turn in a minute. And then saying the same thing to baby when you are with the toddler. So older one can see that younger one has to wait sometimes too. I allowed DS to crawl on my lap while I am nursing, stand up on a chair while I am changing diapers. He gets to hold her whenever he asks. I let him poke, prod, (hug/cuddle) unless she is getting hurt by it. She doesn't always enjoy it, but I don't want to have tell him he can't touch his sister, you know?

[aturnbg]

These are all great tips. I'm expecting my 3rd any day now and have twin girl toddlers (23 months). I'm hoping to see some more great advice