gentle discipline and a nanny

[mama_tigress]

Hi all

Due to circumstances, my children will have to be in full-time childcare starting this August. I have decided not to send them to preschool (a whole other can of worms which I posted a bit about in the Waldorf forum, but which also is *very* much due to discipline issues). So I'm in the process of hiring a nanny, and I'm wondering if any of you have gone through this and/or have advice as far as getting across the message of GD, helping a nanny who might not already know about it learn about it and learn to practice it, etc. I think more than anything else, this is the issue that is going to help me decide who to hire. I figure as long as she is kind and has a desire to learn GD, we will be good. What resources would you provide her with, if it was your family?

[Aliyahsmommy]

Well as a nanny myself I think I might have some insight.
I have not always been a believer in GD, that is until I had children of my own. I think first choice would be a mom who practices GD and second would be someone that does not have children but is open to the idea of GD. A mom that doesn't practice GD is more likely to agree and follow when you are around, but thinks you are wacko and won't follow when you are out of sight lol
I would explain simply the techniques you would like the nanny to use. Most nannies already use a form of GD anyways as they are usually playful and creative, that is if you get a good one
I would also pick up a good book explaining GD and why it is so important to use etc and ask the nanny if she would be willing to read it. Just reading the book might make her want to practice GD even if she had never heard of it before.

[mama_tigress]

Thanks Aliyahsmommy! Is there any book in particular that you would have found helpful?

[Purple*Lotus]

I was an AP and GD Nanny. I learned by watching my boss for about three days before she returned to work. Just show her if possible, or spend some time talking about it with her.

[mama_tigress]

Originally Posted by Bunnyflakes

I was an AP and GD Nanny. I learned by watching my boss for about three days before she returned to work. Just show her if possible, or spend some time talking about it with her.

Yes, whoever we choose will definitely be starting a few weeks before I start school so she can spend time with us and I can gradually get the kids used to being with her while I'm not there.

I appreciate seeing that there are nannies who have used GD--it is reassuring

[AislinCarys]

I was a nanny before DD was born. A Mothering fan/nanny.

In your situation I'd probably advertise for an AP-minded nanny. If she is a mother or not is not so important, being the right person is.

A good nanny is one who wants to spend time with the kids, WANTS to give them time, to love them, to get to know their personalities. Do ask questions about this at an interview!

And discipline is quite easy to discuss, ask her how she feels a situation should be handled (if her answer isn't in line with your ideas, she's the wrong nanny!), then explain how you would like it handled.

She may not use exactly the same method as you would, but as long as it is appropriate (says you!) that is fine.

She should be open to new ideas, to learning more, learning from you (as well as teaching you (as a nanny or mother she may have lots of experience).

Good luck!