Tempering child showing off

[MamaMom]

My DD has a good temperment overall and is a happy camper. I remind her to be thankful in general and to appreciate everthing she has and to know that there are a lot of families less fortunate and don't have a lot of toys- to best of her understanding, I think she gets it.

At times, really more when she's excited about something she has new, she wants to show it off. I am excited for her but want her to be humble about telling people what she has. She will run up to kids and adults and say look at my shoes, look at my phone (toy) or my hair in ponies... how has everyone else handle this? or am I overthinking this. I tend to be modest about things. Tx

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

i don't really consider being excited about something new and wanting to show people "showing off" to me showing off is when someone goes up to another person saying something along the lines of "wow look i've got, i bet you wish you had one too" or "i've got this and you haven't " though thats jmo

[staceychev]

How old is your daughter? It seems pretty normal to me, mama to a just-turning-5YO. My daughter is really grateful for what she has, but she is also really excited to share about things that are exciting in her life. She's very outgoing, so she tends to tell everyone about everything! Last week it was all about her cousin sleeping over.

[MamaMom]

Tempering child showing off

DD is 3. More concern is if I don't temper her now it will develop into more showing off later on. Somehow wanted to teach life lessons while young slowly so will evolve considerate always...

[AllisonR]

I think being excited about something "see my new shoes" shows gratefulness. Your DD is happy, excited and grateful. I wouldn't try to temper that. I would let her be. Maybe your personality is more mellow, nothing wrong with that either, but everyone should be able to be themselves. I don't think "see my new shoes" will later turn into "see my new 50 dollar gucci shoes, they are so much more stylish than your crocks."

My DS is 5 and DD is 3 and both of them show people their new shoes, toys... I think they are happy and grateful and want to share their joy with others.

[ssh]

Originally Posted by MamaMom

DD is 3. More concern is if I don't temper her now it will develop into more showing off later on. Somehow wanted to teach life lessons while young slowly so will evolve considerate always...

It's related to age and your DD just showing her excitement. Don't worry about it developing into actual showing off. My 4.5 year old does the same thing with anything she's interested in including things with little value like cool rocks or flowers. Often if she has something new she not only wants to show some one but share it too.

The best way to teach a LO manners and how to treat others is by modeling the behavior yourself and then discussing how "our behaviors effect how people view us as people" as your DD gets older.

[meemee]

what you see as showing off i see as a joie de vivre for life.

that is what children are good at. expressing sheer joy.

what you call tempering - i call - squashing their spirit.

why does she have to be humble? at 3? or 5 or 7? that is learnt behaviour.

do you have adults who get excited about little things and 'show off' too. doesnt that bring great joy to you to be able to share in someone elses joy.

you CANNOT teach humbleness. not everything in this world is teachable. what you can do is model behaviour like pp said. and then leave it to your child to accept what she wants to or not. but its her decision and her decision alone.

i discover that adults who 'show off' a lot get a lot of their needs met because they speak it out loud and atothers hear them and help them in the form they need it.

i go to the extreme. there are many, many things i have not taught my dd. manners for instance. she saw me and her dad and picked it up. she doesnt say thank you. instead she says i really appreciate you 'doing/giving' this for me. she started at 10 months old with TY, not because she knew what she was saying, but more about repeating what i say when our neighbour gives me cookies.

at 5 my dd went around saying 'i am smart'. i had a hard time with that till i realised she wsnt showing off. she was stating the obvious. of course that passed and she doesnt say that anymore aloud, but she does believe that she is smart. that she can do anything she sets her mind to do. again i had nothing to do with it. its something she discovered.

i have always talked to her about teh power of words. how sometimes they are worse than a slap. when she gets hurt, while i give the support she needs once in a while i remind her to be watchful how she speaks so she doesnt hurt anyone else.

[rightkindofme]

Hm. Many of my friends and I are thrilled to say, "OOOH! NEW TOY!!!" It's fun and exciting. And if I'm still doing it at 29 I don't think I'm going to be upset if my kid does it at 3. or 5 or 10 or... It's not that it is bad to say, "OOOOH! SHINY NEW TOY" it is bad to say, "I have x and you don't!" That's different. I think it's more than ok to be excited about having neat stuff. Otherwise there is no point to having neat stuff.