Upon becoming a parent.....

[PeachBaby]

.... what important tasks do you find gets pushed to the backburner every single time? (Important enough that if it doesn't get done, it drives you nuts, and yet, with a lo to take care of, there's no time to get it done. .....aside from cleaning, since that never gets done, lol! Or if it is cleaning that makes you go crazy, what specific cleaning job?)

[AllisonR]

With my first, I was so overwhelmed, not with a specific thing that didn't get done, but that almost everything didn't get done! And I mean basic things. Like I would say to myself "today I will unload the dishwasher, take DS to baby group, make lunch, check bills during his nap, call friend XYZ." The dishwasher would not be touched, DS would get to baby group (late), lunch would be me grabbing a carrot, apple and piece of cheese from the fridge, bills would not be touched, and I was angry I didn't get to call my friend.

With my second, I decided that every.single.thing would move to the back burner except me getting enough sleep, which was priority number 1. And I got my sleep. And then instead of the list above, I would only have a list of "Take Dd to baby group and call friend." And if I got one, or both of these things done, I would accept that OK. And if I din't, that was also OK. And if I just happened to also get the dishwasher emptied or a bill paid, wow, then that was just icing on the cake.

[pianojazzgirl]

Uh.... taking a shower. Eating properly. Having any "me" time. Cleaning (of course). Laundry. The list goes on....

[COgirl19]

cleaning the floors! It drives me NUTS to have a dirty floor. But when your 1 yo is terrified of the vacuum cleaner it makes it pretty hard to get that done.

doctor visits for myself - baby always get's taken care of but finding time to get myself regular check-ups or even to go in when I really am sick and should always get's pushed back!

I am really hoping that since DH is out of the Navy and not travelling anymore that I can at least get my 6 week post-partum midwife visit in after this baby instead of putting it off for two months.

[baglady]

cleaning, cleaning, cleaning

[demottm]

Keeping up with my friends who don't have kids. Although I guess that it will come back around when they do have kids and we will have more in common again.

[peaceful_mama]

Keeping things clean. Mostly not helped by the fact that I live with 2 other adults and I sometimes get a little resentful about what they don't do...even though they do other things like cook, be the out-of-home wage-earner, all that.

It's more like a bit resentful of the expectation (whether it is really there or in my own mind) that the house be spotless and the children only play with certain other children in the neighborhood, and that I be able to always do everything with a big happy smile and have time to be involved in doing things with them. Oh and balanced, home-cooked dinners. All that.

Keeping up with friends who have kids who are not the same age as mine takes dedication. I've finally let this one go--at least the guilt on my end--by realizing that the friends I DO keep in touch with, it's because the phone lines work BOTH ways. If it's people who don't make any sort of effort to contact me, then I've stopped feeling guilty. Took me awhile to get there, but it's freeing.

Expectations change with every baby....it's OK now if *every* meal isn't perfect. The house can have a certain level of mess that indicates we LIVE here.

[CatsCradle]

Haven't been to the gynecologist in four years. Unfortunately I can't take time off from work because I have to get so many billable hours in when I'm there, and I don't feel comfortable trying to take DD with me to the doctor's at this stage. I keep thinking there will be a time when I can do it, but it never plays out. Basically I cross my fingers about my own health and hope for the best. I think I'm starting to go through menopause (at age 47) so I'll have to do something soon. Argh...

[Surfacing]

I can relate to so much of what is said here

[marinak1977]

cooking meals. I end up grabbing things more and never finding time. I miss being able to make meals from scratch and experimenting in the kitchen.
I used to eat healthier before the baby. oh well...

[LaughingHyena]

Floors, during the day they are covered in toys and kids, and after the kids go to bed I'm too tired to bother with them.

Mowing the grass also gets left far too long for similar reasons.

[Bluegoat]

Folding, and especially putting away the laundry.

Also, haircuts and dentists appointments for myself.

[bumblecat]

Vaccuming. Showers. Washing the sheets. I think overall I do pretty well though. One thing I actually do a lot more of since having the baby is cooking. I never had the energy to mealplan and prepare serious food when I was working before I had her. It took a few months to get there after having her as well, but now I am cooking like I never have before and it's great. One thing I miss a lot though is reading novels. I used to blow through them and now I am about 1/4 through my first one since DD was born. It's slow going. Routine housework like dishes and laundry are usually relatively kept up with, but I have it easy since I am a SAHM but DP is home a lot as well. He is a musician and plays out 4 mornings a week and many weekends for festivals etc. but we are both home most weekday afternoons.

[Owen'nZoe]

Excercising, walking the dogs, and giving the cat attention. I feel most guilty about the poor pets - I keep saying "I'm going to give them more attention starting today" but I've been saying that for 6 years, it works for awhile and then we slip again. And now the pets are all elderly, and I'm feeling guilty about all the time that has slipped by. My oldest son did just start taking an interest in walking the dogs, and he is finally big enough to take them out on a short walk himself, so I'm hoping to foster that.

[nina_yyc]

My career! Sure I have a job, but before DD was born it was a legit career. After my mat leave, not only will I be hanging on to my 'working for the man' job that has become a virtual dead-end, I will be cutting my self off from all future advancement by reducing my hours. I am also not loving that the 'big decisions' have come down to math and real estate instead of passion and ambition.

RE: cleaning....I have found that the only thing that ever gets done is #1 on my list. Only for priority one am I willing to do what it takes to get it done - strap the baby on when he is cranky, *work* while the 3yo is finally playing alone instead of chilling on MDC, wait around while DD 'helps' etc. If I try to do any more the kids get edgy and bored and it doesn't happen anyway. So aside from the daily cooking/dishes/laundry, only one thing gets put on my list every day. The rest of the day I fully plan to fritter away. That lady sitting in the shade in the park all day? That's me.

[seriosa]

Cooking varied, maybe elaborate, meals. I love to cook. I used to be able to prepare a 30 day menu with pratcially no repetitions. Now when I can rotate 6 days without repeating, thats a success.

Gym. I have no-one to watch DS, and no, excercising at home doesn't work for me.

Gardening. Actually we got the garden after we got DS, but still I expected/wanted to be able to do much more with it.

@nina yyc. Yeah, bye-bye career. No time for that.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I agree with a PP that said cleaning the floors, but my reasoning is a bit different. Its relaly just my dining room floor that needs it constantly, and thats just my children (well child) like to pitch things to the floor when they are full, rather then just saying "all done". plus its in a high traffic area, so theres always little bits of crap and bare feet smudges, spilled milk or juice that streaks. Plus the sliding glass door to the backyard is right there, FACING WEST, so every night when the sun is setting, I get a nice clear shot of exactly how dirty my floor is. And it could have just gotten done yesterday. DRIVES ME BANANAS!!!!

The reason I can’t get to it that often is because if I break out the vacuum cleaner or woodfloor mop, my kids go CRAZY if they cant do it. Makes it damn near impossible to get anything done. .

I used to take my showers at night after DS1 was born. Thinking I needed that extra time in the mornings. I really missed takeing my showers in the morning, which was something I had done since I could shower alone. Drove me crazy. I figured out how to make it work. Now I can shower, do my hair, makeup, and pick out my work clothes before the boys are awake at 545am! I think thats remarkable if you ask me. We do what we have to do to adjust. And sometimes, we surprise ourselves.

Cooking. I have to cook something EVERY NIGHT now. And I have to figure out what thats going to be. Before when it was just me and Charlie, sometimes I could just skip dinner, which was usually fine by me. I HATE trying to figure out what to cook. HATE IT!

[seaheroine]

Oh mamas, I can relate to every single one of you. That is why I love this forum!

For me, mainly just organization. I used to be organized. My car used to be clean. I used to feel some "control" over my life, at least an illusion of control! It is really difficult to let all of it go. I try to start each day now with no expectations. It is easier on me when I go to bed at night.

[Jill359]

For sure cleaning and cooking. Cooking a good diner is something I really want to do as much as possible so my kids eat well but we end up eating out too often because it seems like I don't have the time to cook and clean up after.

Going out with friends and being social is another.

btw, this is a great community! I am glad I found it

[dakotablue]

Yeah cleaning is on the list...

drives me nuts, but I still don't get around to...brushing my hair. Its a ponytail everyday and then LOTS of conditioner when I get around to untangling the unattended nest I know I would feel better if I did, but it would need to be done EVERYDAY or just in the shower...I need a better routine.

I will say however, we do eat well and I do brush my teeth 3xs a day