I needed to read this thread!
DH might accept a work from home job, and I'm nervous. When he is home, I feel like I do everything I usually do and more -- maybe b/c I'm cleaning up after him or expecting some level of help and/or company. I'm afraid of the stress this new situation might create. And I thought I was a terrible wife for thinking all of this!!
It will take some getting used to...on both your parts. You cannot expect him to be "there", really, when he is at work. He will need to figure out the best balance of "at work" times if he has 100 percent flexibility on when that work is done.
If your expectation is that telecommuting means immediately more help and company for you than you get now, this is not going to work out at all. If you are willing to give him space, and teach your children and yourself how to respect that space--then to be honest I think it is one of the best family setups EVER.
There are some spouses that can't learn to respect their telecommuting partner's time or space though. And some people are not cut out to be telecommuters--either because they can't turn it off and therefore are amped up workaholics OR because they are too easily distracted OR they do get a lot of their work efficiency vibes from coworkers or that environment.
Have there been times I wish that I had the house "to myself"? Oh yes. But would I trade that for our family life now? No way. I think our kids have reaped ENORMOUS benefits from having two parents at home, with flexible time.
I have less leisure time with my spouse than most people I know. He works 7 days a week from hom. But OTOH, for the most part he can arrange to be there at daytime school functions, I can get out during the day to run errands by myself with notice, and since he and I know how to do it without distraction, I can go and "recharge" by sitting quietly with my head on his shoulder whenever I want. Now that the kids are in school all day, we often make our "date night" an afternoon.
But I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have *realistic* expectations, and how hard but absolutely vital it is to learn and show respect for workspace/time. I think too that the person transitioning to at-home working really should if at all possible talk to BTDT people. Even my DH, whose natural personality is very disciplined and efficient, struggled to adjust for a few months. And even though my children have been raised from birth to understand the rules of Daddy's office, when we got through periods of testing that space, ect. it can be quite chaotic at home.
We know many, many couples with arragements similar to ours (1 or both partners WAH). All of those who have made it work succesfully LOVE it. (though again, of COURSE sometimes you are going to get on each other's nerves, you're only human) Most of the people I know where that didn't work was because of (unintentional) lack of respect on the spouse's part and/or lack of discipline on the worker's part (I include not knowing how to structure one's time and never truly quitting working as lack of discipline).