Would You Let Your 10 yo Have a Facebook Account? - Page 2

[doulatara]

No. My daughter is ten, and I have told her when she is thirteen if she is interested she can join, but we will have to come up with age-appropriate guidelines at that time and all of her privacy settings have to be set on "friends only." I am unsure if I will require her to give me the password, if I will require her to my friend (if not then definitely she will need to befriend some of the trusted adults in our life; aunts, other relatives or some of my best friends.) I figure I still have awhile to get that worked out.

Several of dd's friends are on facebook, and I am friends with a few. They have only reaffirmed my feelings that a ten year old should not have an account. I have seen very inappropriate status updates, too much personal info and info on where they can be found on a day to day basis, inappropriate photos, (several of them have very sexualized photos of themselves from a recent group trip to a water park,) and some friends of dd have public profiles that anyone can see. My daughter and I have viewed their profiles together a few times, and I go through and show her what is inappropriate and explain why...in hopes that my daughter will have the tools to protect her online identity when she gets a bit older.

[myjo]

Ds did have a facebook account, but we deactivated it, so I voted other. I don't have facebook anymore either. We just felt that it was getting to be too much. It was causing problems between friends, sucking too much time, and I began to feel uncomfortable about privacy issues. He wasn't even upset about it, he totally understood why, especially since his Dad and I both deactivated our accounts at the same time.

[joycenjackiesmom]

I recently helped my 11 year old open an account--with all settings on either "only me" or "friends only", I have her password and she is friends with me--I also did not allow her to post a profile picture of herself--she put a picture of one of our pets which her real life friends will recognize connected with her name but no one else. I had planned on making her wait (more because she didn't have any real reason to be on facebook rather than the age--to me that should be a parent decision) but her best friend has gone on an 8 week trip to Europe and Africa and facebook has allowed them to keep in touch with each other (a real reason to be on facebook). I was surprised at how many friends her age--and younger--were already on.

[azmo]

Yes. If you say no, they will create it elsewhere. Just tell them not to post pictures about themselves and it should be okay. You can check the account if needed.

[VillageMom6]

Originally Posted by azmo

Yes. If you say no, they will create it elsewhere.

That's just simply not true. But I hear that rationalization all the time for all sorts of parenting decisions.

Many children obey their parents... especially if they are given a reason why mom and dad feel the way they do.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

That's just simply not true. But I hear that rationalization all the time for all sorts of parenting decisions.

Many children obey their parents... especially if they are given a reason why mom and dad feel the way they do.

I agree completely. Making parenting decisions because you figure they won't listen anyway is ridiculous. I expect my children to respect my decisions, and usually they do.

[nola79]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

I'd vote if you had an "Aw, HELL no!" option.

I think that little good can come from a teen having a Facebook account. And a 10 year old will be a teen before you know it.

Plus, if even Facebook says you have to be 13 then I know that I'm likely more protective than they are.

This. My son will be 8 in a couple months, but I wouldn't let him have one now, and I doubt I'll change my mind in 2 years.

[beanma]

I voted maybe, but I think if my dd1 (9) wanted one we would probably let her. She sees DH and me play Lexulous (Scrabble like game) all the time. We're FB friends with her teachers and wish them Happy Birthday, etc. DH is involved with computer security professionally so all jillion of our computers are very secure. I would ask her to ask before she did a quiz or game to make sure the app was secure and, of course, her privacy settings would be tightly monitored. I actually think it would be better to walk her through a site like FB with the security concerns and help her understand what's "safe" on the internet and what's not at this age than have her figure it all out on her own when she's 13/14/15. I think FB can be a very safe space if you're safe about it. You're interacting with real people you know. I wouldn't allow "friends of friends" to view photos, etc.

Our FB friends are way past the partying and sexual innuendo stage and dd1's aren't there yet so now actually might be the best time for her to get an account. She's shown no interest, though, and I'm not one to push technology/media at all, other than good old paper books, so I think she'll be FB free for awhile. She's a very open kid, and horrible at keeping secrets so I'm not concerned about her being sneaky on FB.

[Arduinna]

no way

[3 little birds]

No, because it involves an unnecessary lie and even having my own fb page creeps me out a little. My twins have asked because my 11 year old niece has one but I told them that you are supposed to be 13 and they were cool with that.

[mama1803]

Definitely not. I just can't imagine what good could come of a child so young having an online presence.

[JavaJunkie]

My oldest is 13 and does not have a FB account. He asked back when he was 12 and I told him no, because he was too young. Then his dad and I talked to him about the ramifications of being online as he gets older. We stressed the point that once it's out there, it's out there forever. That there is no way to ever truly delete anything. He has decided that he doesn't want a FB account for now.

[mama1803]

Originally Posted by 3 little birds

and even having my own fb page creeps me out a little.

I was so glad to read this because I feel this way too. I never understood the appeal of FB, to be honest. I've seen what some choose to share online and I personally would never be comfortable exposing that much of my personal life online for strangers to view.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by joycenjackiesmom

her best friend has gone on an 8 week trip to Europe and Africa and facebook has allowed them to keep in touch with each other (a real reason to be on facebook).

If they have time to get online, they can keep in touch via email.

[Gypsymama22girls]

I just signed my 11 yr old up yesterday. She has very strict rules about using it but it is something good for her to use to keep in touch with friends and family since we don't have a house phone for her to use and we live away from our family.
I also don't see the big deal in the "age lie" I don't have my real birthday on it either because I don't want strangers to find me and try to steal my info.

[Aquitane]

My 11 year old DS asked for one last week. We told him no. We have a few reasons why, but one is because I've seen what these sites can do in the school setting. I am a teacher, and I was teaching middle school (6-7 grade) when myspace first hit. It was a nightmare! The things the kids did to each other through it were horrible. It created a whole new set of problems for me to deal with each day.

FWIW - I DO have a FB account but I do not friend parents of students or students (unless they have graduated). I try to be very professional, and I don't think friending on FB allows me to accomplish that.

[wemoon]

Originally Posted by Dar

I would. I'm not all that fussed about breaking rules based on age discrimination, which I think is wrong anyway, so that part wouldn't bother me. I'm also savvy enough to help my child adjust the settings so that she doesn't have to deal with weird people trying to friend her or anything like that.

For us, facebook has been a nice tool for keeping in touch with people...

Totally agree. I think that it is not OK that there isn't some way that parents can give their kids under 13 permission to be on facebook. Both of my kids (8 & 10) had an account, but they were deleted by some unknown source. Someone may have reported them as under-age.

They mainly played games like farmtown and many of their friends had accounts as well. Like others that allow it, I have the password and check their accounts regularly. Since their accounts have been deleted, they have not shown any interest in getting new ones, so they currently do not have them.

[JessicaS]

No, I would not.

I don't allow my child on a computer at all without being supervised. She mostly plays pop trafficaand runescape.

[Katsmamajama]

My 10 year old DD has her own facebook. I don't see the problem with it, since I'm the "keeper of the keys" anyway.

There are ground rules for her, though:
-- No picture of her as her profile. She has some random cartoon-ish photo instead.
-- I approve/disapprove all friends. And no one can see anything on her FB page without being a friend. So far, her meager friends list consists of other military children that she's befriended, and our family members.
-- No adding games or clicking links without checking with me first.
-- I have the username/password to her account. I also have the username/password to her email account. I can check her stuff at any point.

Now, if we were not a military family grasping at ways to stay in contact with friends who move away frequently, I probably wouldn't be so lax about it. However, since she is a military child with friends moving away every 2-3 years, I'm bending on this one-- especially when some friends are 6 time zones away and calling isn't exactly feasible.

[meemee]

yes my 7 year old under different name.

you cannot find her or see her pictures because of her privacy statements.

i have no problems lying to FB. they are covering their own backs by making that rule. they are not looking out for the whole community. its just for liability reasons.

plus come on. my child wants to play the games. and she can only do some thru facebook.

however she is computer 'literate'. i mean safety literate. and i am careful too. just lately she has been connecting with some cousins and friends her age who are also on fb.