Help me help my sister

[rhiOrion]

Mods, I really hope this is okay to post here. I'm not sure where else to put it. Health and healing, maybe?

My sister is going to circ. There's no way I'm talking her out of it, and trying to talk her out of it would just hurt our relationship. I emailed her to offer her info about circs when she found out she was having a boy. She just said she knew it wasn't my thing, but that they were going to do it. I promised her after I offered that info that I wouldn't bring it up again.

But today she mentioned it in regards to what diapers to use after the circ. She said that as much as cloth diapers freak her out, that she was thinking of using them then, because they seem like they'd be softer. I explained that the vasoline you put on the circ would make the cloth diapers repel. I suggested she get some natural sposies, alcohol free wipes, and that she give him lots of naked time. She was wondering about maybe just draping a cloth over him so as to not get pee spraying everywhere, and I suggested maybe she could very loosely snappy on a crappy gerber prefold, to get some airflow, but avoid pee sprays. I figure those won't matter if they start to repel, because she's just going to use them for burp cloths...and she was planning to buy them anyhow.

But that got me thinking. *if* someone is going to circ no matter what... what's the best advice i can give? can you put breast milk on it like you might with other wounds? She'll be receptive to most ideas as long as they're not toooo out there.

So... how do I make the best of a bad situation?

Thanks!

[SeekingJoy]

No idea. Rhi, I'm sorry you are going through this. It would tear me up.

I'm not sure where she is delivering, but this UNC factsheet recommends just Vasaline, in which case you are totally right about the dipes. Actually this is such a great fact-sheet that just comes out and says it is a medical prodedure done for cultural and religious reasons, that I often share it.

You can PM me if you want. I can send you a copy of an email I sent to a friend giving her lots of links and information about how to pick a practioner (OB or ped or family doc), when it can be done, what complications and symptoms to look for post-op, how to minimize pain during the procedure, videos of the procedure, etc. It is written from the stance of "I know you are going to do this, but are interested in how to best care for your baby afterwards." My friend actually ended up leaving her son intact, but regardless, it has some good info.

[tammylsmith]

Don't forget to mention anesthesia.... maybe suggest she wait a few months for general? If not, studies show that an injected dorsal penile block helps far more than just a topical cream that most docs offer. Too bad for the babe , but you know your sister. At least you can try to ease his suffering.

[texmati]

a onsie with no dipe would keep the pee from spraying everywhere.

[Mommie020307]

i am in the same situation with my SIL...only she has to pay upfront on her boy's Circ'd and she cannot afford it..So she's waiting until FEB to have him CIRC'D I am LIVID. She's planning on using cloth diapers too...First time using those.

I wish i could change her mind about having Christopher Circ'd
From what i have learned i wish i never had my 2 boy's Circ'd too...I feel awful about it.
ODS his was a TIGHT Cut and he's got a short penis now cause of it (he's 8 yrs old) and DS2 he's still got a lot of his foreskin left...they didn't take much off which my BFF said that's a good thing. Oh and he's 3. Had i met my BFF 3 years ago i wouldn't of had DS2 Circ'd

[SeekingJoy]

rhiOrion, did you find what you need?

[To-Fu]

Moving to Health ad Healing.

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by SeekingJoy

rhiOrion, did you find what you need?

I'm still mulling it over. She's not due until October, so I'm trying to think of what and how to say things. I'm making her a "baby manual" or all the things I wish people had told me, and all the things that my sleep-deprived brain couldn't figure out during those first few days. So I might just throw a bit of info in there about treating the circ, but since it's not something I have direct experience with, I'm not sure.

[SeekingJoy]

Even more than treating the wound, there is a good bit of medical research about the different types of procedures and the resulting complication rates from each. If she is going to do it, she would probably appreciate information about which method to have done.

[rhiOrion]

Does anyone know if it's easy to pick which kind? Or is it one of those things where she'd have to search out a dr to do it the way she wants? Because if it's as easy as saying "please circ him in ___ way" she might go for it, but if she'd have to fight for it, I doubt she would, because she obviously must not see it as too much of an issue. But if it's easy, I'm sure she'd rather do the better way. Same with the anesthesia... anyone know if it's easy to get injectible?

[libba]

Originally Posted by rhiOrion

Does anyone know if it's easy to pick which kind? Or is it one of those things where she'd have to search out a dr to do it the way she wants? Because if it's as easy as saying "please circ him in ___ way" she might go for it, but if she'd have to fight for it, I doubt she would, because she obviously must not see it as too much of an issue. But if it's easy, I'm sure she'd rather do the better way. Same with the anesthesia... anyone know if it's easy to get injectible?

Probably won't be able to request what kind. Years of working in newborn nursery tell me that. MDs learn a certain way - although each does his own type so it will depend on what type of circ her doctor does. Not all docs know how to do the injectible block. SOrry - not much help.

[SeekingJoy]

libba, I was going to post something similar. In a way, this might be really helpful. If your sis knows which type she would prefer, then she can find a doc to do it that way. You really, really wouldn't want a doc to use a method that is not their prefered one.

Since OB's are less likely to use adequate pain medication, maybe you can convince your sister to ask her ped or family doctor? Have her hubby wait with your nephew betwen application of the topical numbing cream and the 30 minutes it takes to fully work, since both types of anethesia should be used together?