Feeling guilty 2ww

[TTC]

I'm on my 2ww. I felt rushed with the whole process, I am using donor S and my RE from my first appointment said I had to purchase it right away to have it ready for the IUI. I selected one in days after doing as much research as I could but was not happy with my choice especially since it was not an "open" donor which I thought I would not compromise on.

In the meantime now that the hustle and bustle has quieted down since I got the IUI I have been doing more research at a calmer pace and today found my ideal donor who is open and has more of the features I was looking for. This has made me feel ill at ease with the possibility that I could get pregnant with an anonymous donor. I should be happy if I even do get pregnant considering my age so I am feeling really guilty and confused about it.

[NewDirections]

TTC

I'm sure it's totally normal to have mixed/anxious feelings about donors. If it were me I'd look at it that either way, no matter if you conceive with donor 1 or donor 2 you'll still have a wonderful, precious, unique child that will change your life in amazing ways.

Peace and love

[TTC]

Thanks NewDirections, it helps to hear that. I'm already feeling emotional from all the meds so when I found the donor today I almost had a nervous breakdown. Hopefully the feelings will taper off.

[vivica2]

if you get pregnant this cycle, this child has found you for a reason, perfect donor or not.
good luck!

[sweetest77]

TTC - I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason If you do conceive this cycle then it's because you were meant to have that baby with that donor!

Oh, and I would stop looking at donors until you find out either way how your cycle goes this month... Once you make your choice there is no good to be had in looking at alternatives, the grass is always greener...

[TTC]

You guys are so right!!! Maybe it was meant to be, I won't even think about the other donor until I get my results. Thank you so much

[ZoeJane'sMommy]

I can understand the stress of the right donor, but I promise you the day when your little comes to meet you, you will see that it never mattered and that bundly of joy will perfect no matter what because he/she is yours. I came from a horrible donor, but I am who and what I am because of how my parents raised not because of some chromosome!