I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement here. My son's father and I never set a formal CS order and he has not yet acknowledged paternity. He has told me that he didn't want to acknowledge paternity until the other boys were adults (the youngest is 17) but I think he also just wanted to do it at his own pace and in his own time (he has said that he feels I am trying to control this and that it is between him and our son.)
So...in February I was hit with an unexpected increase in daycare and health insurance. I contacted him to discuss a corresponding increase in child support which still wouldn't bring him to the level the courts would allow and he accused me of not keeping my word in sticking to our agreement. (I know this seems wordy; bear with me.) He stopped calling or taking our calls at that time and his last email (at that time) said he had the ultimate solution.
My son misses his father dearly so I contacted him again and told him so. I received an email telling me that he is pursuing paternity through the courts and it will be a state-to-state action.
I emailed back:
I'm glad you have decided to do so! Thank you very much for taking care of this. I hope we can continue to co-parent him as well as we were doing prior to the break. Even if we cannot, I still feel it is the correct and right thing for all concerned. You are his father and should be a part of his life.
As I have mentioned in both the emails and phone calls, he misses you dearly and doesn't understand why you are not calling him anymore. I have told him that you are angry with me and that it has naught to do with him; I also reassured him that you love him very much. You are his hero, M, and he adores you.
I'm having second thoughts and want reassurance that I am doing the right thing. Since his conception, I have tried to foster a good relationship between my son and his father. For the first couple of years, he wouldn't talk to me at all (he thinks I got pregnant on purpose though I did not.) He finally met our son just before his second birthday. For a while, he tried to stay involved through phone calls and emails with annual visits (he comes here at Christmas for four or five days.) He lives in WV; we live in MA.
I think it is the right thing to do. I think he should be involved in his son's life as he is his father. He is a decent father when he is here and I usually go to work as much as possible so they can spend that time together without me.
I apologize for my rambling and thank you for reading this far.
So...in February I was hit with an unexpected increase in daycare and health insurance. I contacted him to discuss a corresponding increase in child support which still wouldn't bring him to the level the courts would allow and he accused me of not keeping my word in sticking to our agreement. (I know this seems wordy; bear with me.) He stopped calling or taking our calls at that time and his last email (at that time) said he had the ultimate solution.
My son misses his father dearly so I contacted him again and told him so. I received an email telling me that he is pursuing paternity through the courts and it will be a state-to-state action.
I emailed back:
I'm glad you have decided to do so! Thank you very much for taking care of this. I hope we can continue to co-parent him as well as we were doing prior to the break. Even if we cannot, I still feel it is the correct and right thing for all concerned. You are his father and should be a part of his life.
As I have mentioned in both the emails and phone calls, he misses you dearly and doesn't understand why you are not calling him anymore. I have told him that you are angry with me and that it has naught to do with him; I also reassured him that you love him very much. You are his hero, M, and he adores you.
I'm having second thoughts and want reassurance that I am doing the right thing. Since his conception, I have tried to foster a good relationship between my son and his father. For the first couple of years, he wouldn't talk to me at all (he thinks I got pregnant on purpose though I did not.) He finally met our son just before his second birthday. For a while, he tried to stay involved through phone calls and emails with annual visits (he comes here at Christmas for four or five days.) He lives in WV; we live in MA.
I think it is the right thing to do. I think he should be involved in his son's life as he is his father. He is a decent father when he is here and I usually go to work as much as possible so they can spend that time together without me.
I apologize for my rambling and thank you for reading this far.
