Dh left us now wants to move into the basement

[hillymum]

Dh left last weekend and just told me he wants to live in the basement. He basically doesnt want to live with his parents. Can I stop him? No frigging way do I want him under the same roof as me. Not had my first attorneys appointment but I hope to before the weekend. ex says I can't stop him, what can I do?

PLEASE HELP!

[doubledutch]

he left voluntarily, change the locks.

[Auntie Sapphire]

Do you own the house or rent? Whose name (or names) is on the mortgage or lease?

I changed the locks on our rented apartment after I threw my husband out, then found out that was illegal because his name was on the lease. (Fortunately for me he never found that out.)

[philomom]

My friend just filed a thing to be "sole occupant" of jointly owned residence in Penn. Her attorney knew how to do this. Now, he can't move back in with them uninvited... because this stbx also hated living with is parents.

[NolaRiordan]

You need to file for sole use of the property. But yes, I believe it depends on whose name is on the lease or deed.

[hillymum]

Thank you!!!! That's put my mind at ease. Annoyingly if this can't be done tomorrow then ex will be walking in the house at about 9pm tomorrow evening.

[homewithtwinsmama]

Originally Posted by doubledutch

he left voluntarily, change the locks.

This works. We did this to my stepfather. That and going to the courthouse and filing a formal separation.

[Jyotsna]

I changed the locks on my then dh, now ex. He was abusive. I asked him to find a friend to stay with for a few weeks, but he refused.

Also, he tried to move back in at some point when a jerk attorney told him there was nothing stopping him from moving back home and such. I told him he couldn't and he grabbed my dd and said he was going to commit suicide. I called 911 and he was out of my house. You can do this. Be prepared to get legal support, and if he walked out on you, don't be afraid to document this in the court immediately.

[Goodmom2008]

Originally Posted by hillymum

Dh left last weekend and just told me he wants to live in the basement. He basically doesnt want to live with his parents. Can I stop him? No frigging way do I want him under the same roof as me. Not had my first attorneys appointment but I hope to before the weekend. ex says I can't stop him, what can I do?

PLEASE HELP!

He's right, you can't stop him from moving back into the family home. Even if his name isn't on the lease, title, mortgage. Your residence is his legal place of residence at the moment.

And, to be honest. the chances of you getting exclusive use of the house if he moves back in before the hearing are slim. Now, if he's still living with his parents at the time of the hearing for exclusive use you will probably get what you ask for.

[hillymum]

Quick update....

After meeting a dreadful attorney I met with and retained the services of a really good one. As stbex dh hasn't actually lived in the house for the past 3 weeks and is absent for the next 2 weeks I can change the locks and call the police if he tries to enter without my permission or enters with permission and then refuses to leave.
According to him he filed for divorce on Friday but I haven't heard anything as yet. If he hasn't filed then my attorney is doing so today.
My lovely attorney is filing for child support and alimony today as well as a court order saying dh and I can't physically punish any of the children (I haven't for years but dh has done some things I strongly dissagree with but havent reported). I will be filing for joint custody with him having the kids for two days one night at the weekends. My attorney said that is reasonable and that the judge will hopefully agree to this.
Can't think of anything else at the moment apart from I am so glad he isn't around as I know he will be angry that things aren't going his way.
I can't believe how unemotional I have been through this. I keep waiting for it to hit me and to fall apart.

[RollerCoasterMama]

Originally Posted by hillymum

I can't believe how unemotional I have been through this. I keep waiting for it to hit me and to fall apart.

Sounds like you're in the I-have-too-much-to-do-to-deal-with-this-yet stage. Hang in there! You're getting your immediate to-do list done. Be prepared for random waves of grief to sucker-punch you. You almost have to just go with it and get it over with in order to start the healing process.

Good luck! You're doing great at doing what you need to now to take care of yourself and your family!

[hillymum]

Another update.

On friday I found out that sbxh emptied out the bank account and had closed it. Luckily for me when I called the bank the lady I spoke to had been in the same position and was very sympathetic. I am now waiting for the last 32 statements to arrive which is wonderful as it will prove what dhs average income is. Oh yea, I found out on tuesday that he lied about his income by neglecting to mention how much he gets paid per diem which is 1/3rd of his income.

I am getting a few funny moments through this. Yesturday via text he recommended to me that I stop listening to my friends and to my attorney and listen to him. yea right, cause you really have my best interests at heart?!?

[Halfasianmomma]

Originally Posted by hillymum

Yesturday via text he recommended to me that I stop listening to my friends and to my attorney and listen to him. yea right, cause you really have my best interests at heart?!?

pff! What?! pffff! sorry. That was just too priceless not to point at and laugh.

"no honey, stop listening to the people around you, and listen to me (i.e. the guy who lied to you constantly, left you and now wants to continue taking advantage of you)!"

[Tarielena]

I'm afraid I don't have anything constructive to add, but I recognized your name from posting on my thread in the PaP forum and had to say something. I am so sorry you have to deal with all this unpleasantness right now. I truly don't understand how people can go through life and end up so selfish and unreasonable!