Detailed Orientated Toddler

[physmom]

DD is obsessed with details. She tends to think EVERYTHING is removable or malleable. She's gotten very upset at her doll because it is not anatomically correct (it has a soft body). Another doll of hers that she was given has sewed on shoes and she's constantly asking me to remove them. Ditto for so many other toys, like her little people that she wants to change their clothes. While she likes her toys she's constantly getting upset that they are not realistic enough.

I bring this up because I've seen parents on MDC allude to the idea that less is more with toys i.e. that a doll with less details would be better because it leaves more of to the imagination. Is this something that's been researched or is it a more of a philosophical thing? FWIW, I'm not talking about cheap plastic toys (we do have plastic toys but we look for ones that are good quality that will last for years and encourage a lot of pretend play or help with fine motor skills etc.).

So... say you want to buy a toy airplane (just as an example). You could either buy a carved wooden one (something that is very beautiful from the adult perspective) or something like a playmobil/lego one where you can open it up, have lots of little knobs and what not to play with etc. Is there a reason to choose the wooden one even if your child wouldn't prefer it? I'm just curious because I've seen this mentioned on here but I haven't seen any research backing it up (not saying that it's not out there, I just haven't really thought about it much until now).

[crunchy_mommy]

My DS likes the most realistic things possible. We don't buy toys (we just accumulate them between family & freecycle etc. ) so I don't usually make any conscious decisions on what to buy... He doesn't play with toys much at all. But he loves real things. So I would lean toward realistic toys -- so maybe a metal airplane with all the details or something. DS doesn't even like baby forks/spoons, he only wants real ones... Same with cups, only all our cups are glass except his so that's a problem ... Anyway back to toys, I think the wooden toys are beautiful & a great idea (at least in theory) but I don't think it hurts to have some more detailed toys too, variety...

[LadyCatherine185]

My DS really likes realistic things as well. He has a wooden toolset, but doesn't want to play with it because he wants "Daddy's screwdriver." He also has a few wooden cars/trucks that he doesn't play with, but the plastic real looking ones are his favorites. I don't know about the research, but he does really well with imaginative play with his realistic toys. His monster trucks/motorcycles/race cars are always doing burnouts/wheelies/crashing, etc.

[ellemenope]

I think it is a personal preference.

When I buy something for DD I use the following criteria.

1. Heirloom quality. Is it a toy I will want to pass onto DD's kids or keep in my grandma toy box?

2. Open-ended. Can it be used in multiple ways?

3. Long shelf life. (We put toys on shelves, not in bins.) Will this toy be enjoyed for many years to come? Will it grow with DD?

This means most of our toys are made from wood and natural fibers. DD has a huge set of Haba blocks, a fagus truck, a playsam car, a nice holztiger wooden animal set, wooden kitchen set, felt food, and beautiful silks.

Of course, not every toy I have bought meets all these criteria. And, we get a lot of stuff from others that meets none. It is not a big deal.

We have plenty of great plastic toys. Although, I will say most of the great plastic toys we have are European.

It also means that I tend to avoid highly detailed toys. I have found from personal experience that it is easier to imagine more details than to see past the details you don't want.

Originally Posted by physmom

Another doll of hers that she was given has sewed on shoes and she's constantly asking me to remove them. Ditto for so many other toys, like her little people that she wants to change their clothes. While she likes her toys she's constantly getting upset that they are not realistic enough.

I don't know. To me, the remedy would be to give her less detailed toys!

Originally Posted by physmom

So... say you want to buy a toy airplane (just as an example). You could either buy a carved wooden one (something that is very beautiful from the adult perspective) or something like a playmobil/lego one where you can open it up, have lots of little knobs and what not to play with etc. Is there a reason to choose the wooden one even if your child wouldn't prefer it? I'm just curious because I've seen this mentioned on here but I haven't seen any research backing it up (not saying that it's not out there, I just haven't really thought about it much until now).

I love playmobil. We have like the entire Playmobil 1-2-3 set. It is the only set of something we have bought her and it gets a lot of use.

We pretty much only buy DD toys for B-day and christmas (exacly 6 months apart) We put a lot of thought into what she needs and what kind of toy collection we want to help her build. We buy nice toys and we model to her how to treat them with respect.

[physmom]

FWIW, we don't actually buy many toys for DD. Mostly, I check craigslist often and pick up things cheap from there (and sometimes sell our old stuff). The in-laws do give us mountain loads of cheap plastic toys/stuffed animals that DH won't let me get rid of. They live in a different country and buy the toys for unexpectedly so there's not even hope for giving them a wish list or something.

However, we went to Toys R Us yesterday because we're abroad and didn't have anything except for books and a doll for DD (and she was clearly getting pretty stir crazy). I was just really surprised about many of the toys she was drawn to there and it got me thinking about what I've seen in the past with her. We do have a number of wooden toys. She seems to like her HABA blocks (more when she was younger because they doubled as teething toys) and she LOVES her wooden puzzles. But beyond that it's always the more detailed toys that she loved. I guess I was just asking for future reference more than a specific toy at the moment.

I don't know. To me, the remedy would be to give her less detailed toys!

Maybe you could explain that some more? I'm not quite sure if I understand how that would help...

[ellemenope]

Originally Posted by physmom

Maybe you could explain that some more? I'm not quite sure if I understand how that would help...

Well, I was thinking that if those particular toys had less detail she would have nothing to complain about. And, if you think about it, most of those toys out there that have a lot of detail, are not anatomically correct, or to scale. They have the details, sure, but most cannot be manipulated like toddlers would like (and for good reason).

So, in my opinion, the best toys have very little detail, so as to foster imaginiation as well as to avoid frustrating the toddler. (But, this is just my opinion. I am not trying to be snarky. I swear.)

Anyway, my DD just got these snap dolls from a cousin. (I gave you a link in another thread.) They also have un-removable sandals. It drived my DD crazy. The conversation went like this:

DD: Help take these off for me.
Me: Oh, those don't come off.
DD: <very upset> I want them off. I want bare feet.
Me: But, I cant get them off.
DD: <whining, crying>
Me: Those shoes are permanent. Can you say permanent?
DD: Permanent.
Me: That means they can't come off. Can those sandals come off?
DD: No.
Me: No. They are permanent.
DD: Those sandals are permanent. <very happily walks away repeating this>

These toys have a lot of detail and allow relatively easy toddler manipulation, but still can be frustrating.

If she wants to take things apart, try building lego people with her and letting her take them apart. Or, off the top of my head there is this puzzle thingy that has layers, like clothes, then skin, then bones. Your girl might love that.

ETA: link for puzzle

[Abraisme]

My 6yo DS was a lot like this. He always LOVED his toys and played with them way more than most kids. He likes things to look like the real object and to have a specific purpose. I always went with his desire to have the toys that look more like the real thing, open, move, light-up, come apart, etc. Some people are more linear and I think it's fine to get them things that they enjoy.. My DD is looking to have a completely different personality and so far could really care less about her toys.. Each kid is different and I think we should encourage them to be the best person they can be.

ETA: Some kids actually don't have much imagination and from my experience there is NOTHING that can be done to force it. It doesn't help at all to give this kind of child a bland toy. It won't magically develop an imagination, it's a personality type (nature) and not nurture. My DS has almost zero imagination, never has and probably never will. He will emulate other kids imaginations, but none of it comes from his own brain.

I have witnessed my other friends kids imaginations start around age 2. They did NOTHING special to foster this to start, they simply have lots of imagination. You either have it or you don't.

[ellemenope]

Originally Posted by Abraisme

My 6yo DS was a lot like this. He always LOVED his toys and played with them way more than most kids. He likes things to look like the real object and to have a specific purpose. I always went with his desire to have the toys that look more like the real thing, open, move, light-up, come apart, etc. Some people are more linear and I think it's fine to get them things that they enjoy.. My DD is looking to have a completely different personality and so far could really care less about her toys.. Each kid is different and I think we should encourage them to be the best person they can be.

ETA: Some kids actually don't have much imagination and from my experience there is NOTHING that can be done to force it. It doesn't help at all to give this kind of child a bland toy. It won't magically develop an imagination, it's a personality type (nature) and not nurture. My DS has almost zero imagination, never has and probably never will. He will emulate other kids imaginations, but none of it comes from his own brain.

I have witnessed my other friends kids imaginations start around age 2. They did NOTHING special to foster this to start, they simply have lots of imagination. You either have it or you don't.

This is a great post. Thank you for your perspective. I hope OP can take both viewpoints into account.

Like you said every kid is different, and I only have one. FWIW she started using her imagination before 1. between 11-15 months she was pretending her play cup was full of milk, feeding her baby, and pretending to be a dog.

DD loves her toys. Her favorites have been so simple. I have noticed with her, the more the detail, the quicker that toy becomes old hat. But, I also understand that my kid only just turned two!