Veg*n kids and social situations

[meesh933]

Tell me how you/your DC handle social situations that center around food! DD is 3, we are lacto-ovo, and I'm afraid of her feeling singled out. She doesn't want to eat meat, and has no problem telling someone she can't have something because she's a vegetarian. I don't want that to change, lol.

The situation I have in mind specifically is that she was invited to a birthday party at McDs. Obviously not somewhere we'd go normally. All of the kids will be provided a Happy Meal, plus cake. I explained to her what a Happy Meal was, that it had meat, even the fries, but she is stuck on the fact that it comes with a toy, lol. I could always get the HM, and toss the food, but that's such a waste. WWYD? I want to honor our dietary needs in the best way w/o inconveniencing the mom planning the party, yanno?

General advice for dealing with this kind of situation as your kiddos got older would be very appreciated.

[bandgeek]

Mcdonald's will usually let you buy the toy separately so I wouldn't worry so much about that. I think they charge like $1 for it. Buy the toy, let your DD have fun and play with the other kids, and she can eat a piece of cake like everyone else. You can feed her beforehand or even bring her a veggie or bean burger so she doesn't feel left out. I don't think the mom will be offended if you turn down the meal. She'll probably be glad to save the $3.

I don't have a vegetarian kid, but that is what I would do. Or rather DO do, for myself, like at cookouts and stuff, minus the toy.

[Sayward]

I would go to McDs ahead of time, buy the toy and the box the meal comes in, and maybe even a sheet of the hamburger wrapper. Then I'd bring all these plus a bean burger and baked fries to the party.

I would be really open about what I was doing - with the McDs, with the host of the party, and with my child. The point is to show that even though were 'different' we can still play along and have fun, NOT to pretend that we're not different. I think it's important to 'own it'.

[mumkimum]

DD has had a 'cheese sandwich' there before (bun, cheese, pickles & ketchup & stuff = cheeseburger w/o the burger) so, that's possible there if you're fine with it. And I think there's some fruit options they've got now, apple dippers or something?

I'd just let the mom know you're vegetarian and you're happy to bring your own food or pick up your own there, so they don't have to bother checking labels themselves, and not to worry. It'll be a really minor part of the whole party, anyway.

[crunchy_mommy]

I think McDonald's has vegetarian foods (salads, apple slices, etc.)... so if you are comfortable with her eating those things then just order her something when you get there & make sure to get the toy on the side. I bet if you ask them to put it in the Happy Meal box (and explain she's veg) that they'd probably do that for you too.
Otherwise, just bring a meal for her & order the toy. Just make sure to let the mom know she won't need a Happy Meal.

My vegan DS is only 17 months so we haven't faced this kind of thing yet but I think if you have the attitude of "yes we eat differently & that's OK & we can still have fun just like all the other kids" it might help prevent her obsessing over the food aspect of the party... I don't really know though since I don't have a 3-yo!!

[Ianthe]

I'd call ahead and ask if they'd make your child a veggie burger kids meal. Their fries are not vegetarian (they have beef fat on them ).. but you could do apple slices, veggie burger, drinks and toy.

If it were my kid, I'd decline the invite, though, because everyone knows are are veg*n and they would know we wouldn't step foot inside a McD. But your situation is different, of course.

[Sharlla]

whats with the censorship? are we not allwed to say that word?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Ianthe]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

whats with the censorship? are we not allwed to say that word?
Posted via Mobile Device

what word was censored?

[Sharlla]

vegan has a star in the word
Posted via Mobile Device

[Shantimama]

I don't think she censored the word. Veg*n is often used as a short form for vegan or vegetarian so that the poster doesn't have to write out both words

[Sharlla]

so the star means vegetarian. you learn something every day
Posted via Mobile Device

[texmati]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

whats with the censorship? are we not allwed to say that word?
Posted via Mobile Device

In programming, in searches * stand for a wild card-- so veg*n would mean anything that starts in "veg" and ends in "n". It's become short hand for vegan or vegetarian.

to the op, my little one is still little, but I grew up lacto ovo vegetarian in the bible belt, before it was trendy lol!

My tricks--
*Don't expect to eat your whole meal at the party. Always, always, eat before you go/ or bring your own snacks in the car. The only thing worse than feeling left out, is feeling hungry and left out.
*You can almost always find something to eat-- fill your plate with that. In this case, maybe order one of those parfaits, and buy the toy as pp suggested.
*Practice politely declining food.
*Practice how you will handle people pointing out that your daughter is eating different food. This was the worst part for me about daycare, field trips ect. At 3-7 children will rudely point out- how come she get's a yogurt and I don't! Or why can't you just pick the pepperoni off the pizza? Having a response at the ready would have helped me feel prepared.

I hope that helps some, at least. My parents really didnt know how to help me deal with being the odd one out-- but I really feel that being different, sticking to my guns, has helped me to this day. I alwyas had complete confidence (straight on to college) in expressing my convictions. You are giving your daughter a gift.

Have fun at the party!

[Sayward]

Originally Posted by Sharlla

so the star means vegetarian. you learn something every day
Posted via Mobile Device

Not vegetarian, ''vegetarian and vegan and everything in between''.

[meesh933]

Originally Posted by texmati

In programming, in searches * stand for a wild card-- so veg*n would mean anything that starts in "veg" and ends in "n". It's become short hand for vegan or vegetarian.

to the op, my little one is still little, but I grew up lacto ovo vegetarian in the bible belt, before it was trendy lol!

My tricks--
*Don't expect to eat your whole meal at the party. Always, always, eat before you go/ or bring your own snacks in the car. The only thing worse than feeling left out, is feeling hungry and left out.
*You can almost always find something to eat-- fill your plate with that. In this case, maybe order one of those parfaits, and buy the toy as pp suggested.
*Practice politely declining food.
*Practice how you will handle people pointing out that your daughter is eating different food. This was the worst part for me about daycare, field trips ect. At 3-7 children will rudely point out- how come she get's a yogurt and I don't! Or why can't you just pick the pepperoni off the pizza? Having a response at the ready would have helped me feel prepared.

I hope that helps some, at least. My parents really didnt know how to help me deal with being the odd one out-- but I really feel that being different, sticking to my guns, has helped me to this day. I alwyas had complete confidence (straight on to college) in expressing my convictions. You are giving your daughter a gift.

Have fun at the party!

Thanks to everyone, and especially you! I think for me an hour at a party isn't the big deal, it's helping her to grow up confidant enough in what she believes in that situations like this aren't uncomfortable for her. She's completely comfortable announcing she's a vegetarian, and I don't want that to change. (Our library is giving out fast food coupons for summer reading prizes. Last week she told the librarian thanks, but they shouldn't give her those because she's a vegetarian. She'll also tell people buying marshmallows at the grocery store why we don't eat them, lol.)

I think we're going to eat before we go, bring our own water bottles and a snack, and buy the dumb toy. If she gets bored while the other kids are eating, she can just have the playland all to herself!

Thanks again, everyone!

[Ianthe]

Originally Posted by meesh933

Thanks to everyone, and especially you! I think for me an hour at a party isn't the big deal, it's helping her to grow up confidant enough in what she believes in that situations like this aren't uncomfortable for her. She's completely comfortable announcing she's a vegetarian, and I don't want that to change. (Our library is giving out fast food coupons for summer reading prizes. Last week she told the librarian thanks, but they shouldn't give her those because she's a vegetarian. She'll also tell people buying marshmallows at the grocery store why we don't eat them, lol.)

I think we're going to eat before we go, bring our own water bottles and a snack, and buy the dumb toy. If she gets bored while the other kids are eating, she can just have the playland all to herself!

Thanks again, everyone!

I think she'll be fine.. she knows why she is veg and it sounds like it is important to her. Maybe you could ask her what special treat you can bring for her while her friends are eating their happy meals?

[KimL]

i'm coming in late on this but wanted to add that my son is 7 and is well aware of why we don't eat meat. So, he's educated and confident in NOT eating it.

I'm so glad to never have been dragged to mdd's for a bday party! At least at burgerking they do have a veg burger! I liked the idea of having the "cheese sandwhich" in the happy meal. sounds like an easy solution.

lately issue for us has been sports bbq's. All the food is always provided, and never vegetarian. Even though everyone knows he's a vegetarian at this point (I mean can't they see the scarlet V I've sewn on all his clotes? LOL)! So, we have to bring something ourselves. Plus, he's offended to have to enjoy a bbq with no one caring about his point of view on it all!

[texmati]

Originally Posted by meesh933

Thanks to everyone, and especially you! I think for me an hour at a party isn't the big deal, it's helping her to grow up confidant enough in what she believes in that situations like this aren't uncomfortable for her. She's completely comfortable announcing she's a vegetarian, and I don't want that to change. (Our library is giving out fast food coupons for summer reading prizes. Last week she told the librarian thanks, but they shouldn't give her those because she's a vegetarian. She'll also tell people buying marshmallows at the grocery store why we don't eat them, lol.)

I think we're going to eat before we go, bring our own water bottles and a snack, and buy the dumb toy. If she gets bored while the other kids are eating, she can just have the playland all to herself!

Thanks again, everyone!

I'm glad to be of help-- I think the party will be fine; let us know how it goes!

[starbyfar7]

dd is 7 and has been a vegetarian her whole life. in the beginning, if i knew there was going to be a situation where i wasn't going to be able to watch what she was eating or where omnivores were planning meals, i just made sure to speak to the parents beforehand to ask if there would be anything there for her to eat and i would explain her dietary restrictions. since the age of 4 she has taken it upon herself to own her vegetarianism. when she learned to read, we started reading labels together so she could learn what kind of things we try to avoid. it was around that time she decided to become a vegan because she didn't want to eat products with gross cowmilk in it. now at 7, we're dealing with peer pressure and wanting to fit in, so every now and then she starts complaining that no one else in the world is a vegetarian, except our family lol. im going to have to make it a point to find her vegan playmates to interact with!