How to keep big sis from mauling the baby?

[tammylsmith]

My dd is 3, and our ds is 2 1/2 months. Dd is a handful... a loving, sweet and exuberant girl with excellent verbal communication skills, but TERRIBLE impulse control (hello terrible threes!)

Well she loves her little brother, and we watch her like a hawk with him, but she wants to hold him, tickle him and be in his face CONSTANTLY. The poor guy! No matter how many times I remind her gently (and firmly).... she zooms right in on him, and always with her face right in his until I have to practically pry her off. It is especially bad if he smiles or coos at her. I only put him for naps in the crib, because he needs a sturdy, secure place to be where she can't get to him.

Has anyone dealt with this in an older child? What methods worked for you to protect the baby?

[sweetkid]

oh i hear you momma!! mine dd 3and 10 months ds 10 months are the same ages. i really resolved nyself to the fact that they are siblings and she will be around for him/with him when we are long gone (hopefully), We do have ground rules:"We are a gentle family". Your brother really loves you so much,remember to be loving. You are teaching him everything these are things we say all the time.In those early months giving her very alot of art supplies at the table,new stuff all the time really helped. getting outside and doing a long daily walk was crucial, i wore her in the ergo sometimes when he was having his floortime. it all kinda works. I know she still loves him and has NEVER uttered a word of resentment towards him,other than wishing he were a sister named Kate. He just started crawling and we have encouraged her to set up barricades so he can't topple her buildings,and she is not allowed to touch his body when he needs it to move,we say "he needs his hands(legs body)to help him move" and "what is his scream telling you?"I did have to give her a consequence for not keeping her hands off him and making him fall flat on his face yesterday,no story which i explained i couldn't read because he was crying and needed me after having been pushed.....
I have been assured that it gets easier????????????

[spmamma]

We're going through this with DD, who just turned 3 and DS, 8 MO. Mostly, I give a lot of reminders to be gentle with DS, to give him some space and to listen to him. "When he cries, he's telling you to back up a little bit (or let go of his hand, etc.)"

Some days are better than others. If she's really persistent (she's quite spirited, by the way), then sometimes I have to separate them. I'll put DS on my back and just let her know he needs me to give him a little bit of space right now. He'll come back when he's ready to play.

[dogretro]

Originally Posted by tammylsmith

I only put him for naps in the crib, because he needs a sturdy, secure place to be where she can't get to him.

I do this, too, and do not feel bad about it for one second. The baby needs to know that he can sleep in peace & you need to know that you do not have to watch your older child like a hawk everysecondoftheday. It is also easy to explain that cribs are ONLY for babies & no one else is allowed in there.

[crwilson]

My dd1 is about the same age (3 1/2) and dd2 is 3 months. We definitely, definitely had this problem at first. It's gotten better, but I'm not sure that it's because of anything we did and, believe me, we tried every single thing I could think of. I ended up wearing dd2 for a lot of naps for the first 2 months because dd1 just COULD NOT leave her alone. Now, for unknown reasons, it's much better and for the most part dd1 is much more gentle. We still have to watch her carefully though. I guess the point is that there may not be much you can do, and you just have to wait it out and keep reminding the older one to be gentle.

[sunshadow]

Just chiming in to say we have the same issue. Daughter is 3 and son is 5 months. She just wants to sit on him and touch him and pull on him, and recently try to pick him up and roll him around. All I can do really is separate them. Most of the time she is tired when she is being rough and less able to control her actions. Sometimes I feel she just wants some connection with him, so I help set her up so she can hold him and usually after that she will move on to something else. Or I will engage her in coloring or something like that and put baby in the high chair/play mat with some toys for awhile.