I have a friend who is a professional photographer. She has three boys -- six, five and one. I've known her since DS was born but we're not super close -- we see one another maybe a few times a year. She's done some photography sessions for our family a few times, a few of them for free and a few paid.
Recently she came to my house with her kids for a short visit. I love seeing her but I always sort of dread when the kids get together because her boys are MUCH wilder than mine. Henry has a lot of energy, but he prefers to pretend and talk all day long. It seems like the noise and chaos is generally too much for my son, though I will say her boys are overall pretty good to Henry with sharing and including him.
As soon as they arrived at our house her two older boys found some (empty) squirt guns in the house and started running around pretending to shoot each other and Henry. Henry announced what they were doing (not something we allow) and the mom asked them to stop.
We sent the boys outside to play and my son got out stomp rockets. My friend's oldest put two of them in the tree, which can happen, and peeled the fins off another one. I believe my son was having trouble taking turns -- he likes to make up his own rules for things, like, "No, no, everyone gets TWO turns!" Then they went in the backyard and were climbing on our plastic climbing cube and playhouse. I didn't find this out until a few days later, but the roof of the playhouse got pushed into the house and was warped, and now it won't fit back on the house. Henry has NEVER done this -- he and the neighbor kids like to take the roof off but they always put it on the lawn, not IN the playhouse. Henry says the oldest boy did it.
Then the boys went into the basement and were playing a board game by Henry's made-up rules. They were all seemingly getting along nicely until the end when I heard Henry getting frustrated and yelling at them for doing it wrong. It was time to go anyway, so my friend packed everyone up. Her oldest boy said, "Thank you for having us over!" and my son said, "Go away!" (He was still upset, obviously.)
I talked to my son about what people should do when they get frustrated instead of yelling, and he agreed, but it's a process. I e-mailed my friend and apologized, explaining that we're working on it.
But I have to admit I'm annoyed that her kids broke some of Henry's things. Also, Henry kept trying to show them a computer game he's just discovered and they were a little rude about not wanting to see it.
My friend e-mailed back and said that the boys were just silly for not getting along when their mamas were friends.
We had another e-mail exchange where I asked her pricing for maternity photos and she told me, but then she said that if I wanted to do it during a playdate it would be free, but "I’m going to have a hard time convincing my boys to come over again… they kept saying Henry was being rude and they didn’t want to go there again. I’m sorry to have to tell you that.
"
This has been bothering me. I know my son WAS rude, but I already apologized for it, and her boys aren't angels. She never once apologized for the stomp rockets or offered to replace them, the way I would have.
Am I making too much of this? Am I just feeling defensive because it's my kid?
Recently she came to my house with her kids for a short visit. I love seeing her but I always sort of dread when the kids get together because her boys are MUCH wilder than mine. Henry has a lot of energy, but he prefers to pretend and talk all day long. It seems like the noise and chaos is generally too much for my son, though I will say her boys are overall pretty good to Henry with sharing and including him.
As soon as they arrived at our house her two older boys found some (empty) squirt guns in the house and started running around pretending to shoot each other and Henry. Henry announced what they were doing (not something we allow) and the mom asked them to stop.
We sent the boys outside to play and my son got out stomp rockets. My friend's oldest put two of them in the tree, which can happen, and peeled the fins off another one. I believe my son was having trouble taking turns -- he likes to make up his own rules for things, like, "No, no, everyone gets TWO turns!" Then they went in the backyard and were climbing on our plastic climbing cube and playhouse. I didn't find this out until a few days later, but the roof of the playhouse got pushed into the house and was warped, and now it won't fit back on the house. Henry has NEVER done this -- he and the neighbor kids like to take the roof off but they always put it on the lawn, not IN the playhouse. Henry says the oldest boy did it.
Then the boys went into the basement and were playing a board game by Henry's made-up rules. They were all seemingly getting along nicely until the end when I heard Henry getting frustrated and yelling at them for doing it wrong. It was time to go anyway, so my friend packed everyone up. Her oldest boy said, "Thank you for having us over!" and my son said, "Go away!" (He was still upset, obviously.)
I talked to my son about what people should do when they get frustrated instead of yelling, and he agreed, but it's a process. I e-mailed my friend and apologized, explaining that we're working on it.
But I have to admit I'm annoyed that her kids broke some of Henry's things. Also, Henry kept trying to show them a computer game he's just discovered and they were a little rude about not wanting to see it.
My friend e-mailed back and said that the boys were just silly for not getting along when their mamas were friends.
We had another e-mail exchange where I asked her pricing for maternity photos and she told me, but then she said that if I wanted to do it during a playdate it would be free, but "I’m going to have a hard time convincing my boys to come over again… they kept saying Henry was being rude and they didn’t want to go there again. I’m sorry to have to tell you that.
"This has been bothering me. I know my son WAS rude, but I already apologized for it, and her boys aren't angels. She never once apologized for the stomp rockets or offered to replace them, the way I would have.
Am I making too much of this? Am I just feeling defensive because it's my kid?
