How to respond to 4yo saying "I'm tired of..." ?

[Ophelia]

He just turned 4. Has been doing for maybe 2-3 months now. Some examples:

-when he got his first bday card in the mail, he saw it had a train on it (he loves trains) and said he was tired of getting cards with trains on them

-we went to a park for a concert. Park has a beach/playground we have been to. As soon as he saw the beach he said "I'm tired of you taking me to the beach!" (FWIW, it's the middle of summer and we've only gone to the beach twice!)

-if someone wants to talk to him on the phone, he will either say "I'm tired of talking to you" or just hang up the phone


Also lately - I'm not sure where he heard it from - has been saying 'YOU aren't the boss. I'M the boss". I tried reasoning with him a couple times but it didn't work so now I'm ignoring as if he never said it and suggested to DH to do the same.

Thoughts?

[mom2happy]

Sounds like regular 4 yr old use of words, figuring things out. It probably doesnt really mean much and maybe he heard something like it somewhere and is trying to act grown up. Sometimes they say things like this and they dont even understand the true meaning.
I would just ignore it. They say much more annoying things when they get a little older. My 5 yr old constantly tell me "thats not cool" lately, even when we have just done something where he had a great time. He says it was a bad time and it wasnt cool. I see some other kids telling their moms much worse things, so I figure he has to have the freedom to express what he thinks is going on.
I find that when I put restrictions on what they can and cant say or worry about how I should be about it usually leads to a bigger deal.

[mizzoh]

he sounds similar to my 4 yo. he'll get a new phrase and say it all the time like you are describing. his 4 yo friend does it too (in fact the friends mom and i were talking about this today!). i figure they are just trying out words/phrases, so i usually ignore it and in the meantime waiting for this to pass. i agree with previous poster about restricting use of the phrase makes it more fun for them to say

[Ophelia]

Thanks! I guess he's been saying it only about a month, now that I think about it. Seems like longer, I guess!

When he says it, he's definitely annoyed so I wasn't sure how to acknowledge his annoyance. I tried asking him WHY he is tired of it, but of course that didn't work. I have a feeling if I ignore him about the I'm Tired that he will badger me about it until he gets a response.

Usually when he says things I would rather not hear or try to get him out of the habit, I will give him an alternative or just change the subject. He's pretty good now at expressing himself because we've always encouraged him to tell us how he feels with words to express his feelings.

[mom2happy]

You know what always works with my kids?
They always have to be acknowledged, so after they say these types of phrases I say things like -Oh? or Hmmm, or yeah? That always satisfies them and stops me from trying to do too much explaining or trying to "fix" what they are saying.

[Norasmomma]

My DD who is almost 4 started doing this too recently, I can't say it's not also driving me crazy.

I'm guessing it must be a mental developmental thing that has to do with figuring out ones likes and dislikes. She says she's tired of watching a DVD, or a toy, going to the beach, store, whatever. I think IME with it she's deciding what her own individual tastes as opposed to someone else.

[Boot]

It's definitely a language acquisition thing. My 3 year old has started saying 'I've never ever [insert thing that he has done lots of times]'. I agree with the poster who says just to acknowledge neutrally i.e. 'I see', 'Really?', 'Oh, right'. I doubt he's really annoyed, probably just trying that emotion on for size too as he's seen others say 'I'm tired of..' with an annoyed expression/tone. If, by chance, he is upset and struggling to express himself that response will also help give him the space he needs to figure it out a la 'How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk'. You might want to put your foot down about saying it to people on the phone though. Perhaps tell him to just hand the phone to you if he doesn't want to talk anymore. Most people would be pretty understanding of a little kids doing that I think. Good luck.

[LynnS6]

4 and 5 year olds are trying out the power of words. I agree that "Really? I see." is probably a good response to "I'm tired of you..." He may not understand 100% what that phrase means, which is why he can't tell you what he's tired of. If you feel like it, you could say "what's bothering you?" and he might be able to be more specific.

For the phone, I'd role play phone manners. Give him a script to use when he's done talking. He doesn't know what else to say. So, teach him what you want him to say (and expect it to take hold in about 3 years).

[MaerynPearl]

DD started the Im tired of last year (she just turned 5) and is slowly growing out of it now, though she does still say it sometimes.

I treat each time differently.

Im tired of *such and such food* will be responded to with the same answer I would give anyone else. If it is something we have had a lot of lately I would explain why or tell her if she comes up with a better idea I will make that tomorrow night but this is what we are having tonight. If its something she has never had before (its her way of trying to get out of having it) I simply remind her of that.

Im tired of going *place* is responded with the truth from me, either I am tired of it too and we have to do it anyway (we were going to the bank frequently for a while dealing with some issues there) or how can you be tired of it when we have only come here once/twice/never?

Im tired of playing with my dollhouse... okay then go play with something else.

Im tired of people telling me happy birthday. Okay, well you wont be told that much longer so you wont have to worry about it!

Im tired of cleaning my room. Well, once its clean you wont have to worry about it!