I'm not sure where to put this, but I thought this was the best place.
I have 2 children(DD almost 4, DS 9 months), I take care of them most days, but my DH works a weird schedule, sometimes all week (35 hours or so) and then others not any, it's dependent on his jobs(or lack of, he's an electrician). Obviously this makes for times when he is home most of the time. He also just got out of an extended time of unemployment due to the economy. I started working part-time due to finances and my need for a life outside of my family, I was not doing so well mentally after a large portion of 4 years being a SAHM, pregnant and having a little girl who had pretty tumultuous toddler years.
Things are great for the most part except those times when my DH works a weird week with days on and off, when he's just on it fine, but those wonky weeks where he has a day here and there mess with our DD badly. She is a Daddy's girl and when he's here it's all about dad. When he works, she acts depressed at times and wants dad home, all.day.long. It drives me crazy, I try my hardest to not let it but it does. Thing is I do all kinds of things to try to make her forget about that, but it only sometimes works. I let her paint, play with her, take her to the beach, park, etc.....still sometimes she just is so ho-hum about things. We had a rough last year, my pregnancy was very difficult, and it was very hard for me to manage her at all. I had a tear in my placenta at week 14 and after that had modified bed rest and had to take it easy for the rest of the time. I couldn't really pick her up and so it was a hard time. Sometimes I feel like she just likes dad and doesn't really like me because I spent part of last year no being able to do what she wanted, carry her and run, jump, play, etc....like that may be part of what is eating at her. I wish that I knew what to do to make her feel better when he's gone, but I get it, I miss him too.
The other issue is getting ready for work, when DD was little I put her in her highchair and give her toys while I showered, it worked well, she was a very easy-going baby. DS on the other hand is a cling-on, he doesn't like to be put down at all, especially right now, he's going through some huge developmental leap and is just a handful. I have to let him cry while I shower
I have tried different things to keep him happy and nothing works, he just cries while I get ready. He hates being on the back in the Ergo, in fact he pretty much hates the Ergo in general. So that's out, he doesn't like activity centers, he barely tolerates his highchair-he has to have food, so I give him a snack, keep the shower curtain open partly and shower
Today was really bad, he screamed the whole time, DD can't help, I can't shower when Dh is here because we wake up when he's leaving. Any ideas? I feel like I am making him CIO, but I'm not doing anything to be cruel, I simply cannot hold him and get ready for work. I'm not sure if I just let him grow out of it, it just sucks.
Thanks for reading my little novel, any ideas would be appreciated
I have 2 children(DD almost 4, DS 9 months), I take care of them most days, but my DH works a weird schedule, sometimes all week (35 hours or so) and then others not any, it's dependent on his jobs(or lack of, he's an electrician). Obviously this makes for times when he is home most of the time. He also just got out of an extended time of unemployment due to the economy. I started working part-time due to finances and my need for a life outside of my family, I was not doing so well mentally after a large portion of 4 years being a SAHM, pregnant and having a little girl who had pretty tumultuous toddler years.
Things are great for the most part except those times when my DH works a weird week with days on and off, when he's just on it fine, but those wonky weeks where he has a day here and there mess with our DD badly. She is a Daddy's girl and when he's here it's all about dad. When he works, she acts depressed at times and wants dad home, all.day.long. It drives me crazy, I try my hardest to not let it but it does. Thing is I do all kinds of things to try to make her forget about that, but it only sometimes works. I let her paint, play with her, take her to the beach, park, etc.....still sometimes she just is so ho-hum about things. We had a rough last year, my pregnancy was very difficult, and it was very hard for me to manage her at all. I had a tear in my placenta at week 14 and after that had modified bed rest and had to take it easy for the rest of the time. I couldn't really pick her up and so it was a hard time. Sometimes I feel like she just likes dad and doesn't really like me because I spent part of last year no being able to do what she wanted, carry her and run, jump, play, etc....like that may be part of what is eating at her. I wish that I knew what to do to make her feel better when he's gone, but I get it, I miss him too.
The other issue is getting ready for work, when DD was little I put her in her highchair and give her toys while I showered, it worked well, she was a very easy-going baby. DS on the other hand is a cling-on, he doesn't like to be put down at all, especially right now, he's going through some huge developmental leap and is just a handful. I have to let him cry while I shower
I have tried different things to keep him happy and nothing works, he just cries while I get ready. He hates being on the back in the Ergo, in fact he pretty much hates the Ergo in general. So that's out, he doesn't like activity centers, he barely tolerates his highchair-he has to have food, so I give him a snack, keep the shower curtain open partly and showerToday was really bad, he screamed the whole time, DD can't help, I can't shower when Dh is here because we wake up when he's leaving. Any ideas? I feel like I am making him CIO, but I'm not doing anything to be cruel, I simply cannot hold him and get ready for work. I'm not sure if I just let him grow out of it, it just sucks.
Thanks for reading my little novel, any ideas would be appreciated
