Nursing baby to sleep

[alannanoelle]

I nurse my daughter in bed every night, just before we go to sleep and then 1 or 2 times during the night. (She's 9 weeks old.) Each time, we both fall asleep afterwards. At her 2 month pediatrician appointment, they said that it is not good to nurse baby into a deep sleep because it can cause them to become dependent on eating to be able to sleep. They said I should put her to bed still awake. What do you think - do I need to stop nursing in bed? What would you do?

[ein328]

Originally Posted by alannanoelle

I nurse my daughter in bed every night, just before we go to sleep and then 1 or 2 times during the night. (She's 9 weeks old.) Each time, we both fall asleep afterwards. At her 2 month pediatrician appointment, they said that it is not good to nurse baby into a deep sleep because it can cause them to become dependent on eating to be able to sleep. They said I should put her to bed still awake. What do you think - do I need to stop nursing in bed? What would you do?

This sounds like the same kind of ped that would advocate CIO. I would keep doing what your doing- what better sleep association is there than with BFing? We co-sleep with my 10 mo, and she only nurses for a minute or two before she conks out- actually, it puts us both to sleep!

I should also say that I don't *personally* believe in forcing a baby to "learn how to fall asleep independently," which is what this doc is encouraging, because I simply don't believe a baby that young is capable of doing so.
I personally think nursing-to-sleep is, for mama and baby, one of the most beautiful things there is. If you enjoy it, keep doing it!

[mizzoh]

i think babies were born to fall asleep after nursing. there are ingredients in breast milk designed to make baby sleepy! i nursed ds to sleep until he stopped falling asleep that way ( can't remember how old he was). after that we rocked him to sleep without any problem ( he did not need food to sleep). i think what you are doing is fine, but you could try introducing another way to get her to sleep, like rocking, just so you have the option

[IndigoKoi]

I think you should follow your instincts. I personally LOVED nursing my son to sleep. It was so sweet, and calming for both of us. As mizzoh said, there is stuff in breast milk that makes baby sleepy, but nursing also releases oxytocin which makes mama sleepy too. It's how nature intended it to be!

[eva0897]

You should always do what you feel is best for the both of you. I nurse and rock my 14 month old to sleep every day, and it is something I know that I will always look back at and smile. Some people are surprised that I still rock and nurse my toddler to sleep. What a tremendous sense of security your little one will feel when you're there with them from the moment they wake, to the moment they go to sleep. And don't worry, you won't be rocking your 13 year old

[Cujobunny]

Originally Posted by alannanoelle

it can cause them to become dependent on eating to be able to sleep. They said I should put her to bed still awake.

Forever? I don't think so. I nursed my kids to sleep until they were over 2 and overnight until they were just under 2. I have NEVER been able to put my babies down awake and have them fall asleep! That's insane to expect a 9 wk old to do that.

Anyway, just to let you know that it does not in fact ruin your children, my 5 yr old has been falling asleep on his own, by himself, in his own room for well over a year, he reads to himself, shuts the light out when he's done and sleeps all night. If he needs to pee in the night, he gets up, goes, and goes back to sleep by himself.

My almost 3 yr old dd still wakes up once a night for a pee, a cold drink or a snuggle.

The way I see it, we don't force kids to do anything else before they're ready - eat, crawl, dress themselves, etc so why the obsession with teaching themselves to fall asleep by themselves so early? They grow quickly and will learn to fall asleep by themselves when they are ready, and how you treat them and what you do in the meantime will influence greatly their feelings about sleep. My kids get snuggles and love (and food!) whenever they need it, and they have excellent sleep associations because of it! Never scared of bedtime, never a fight about going to bed.

[alannanoelle]

Thanks so much for sharing your personal experiences! I'm going to keep on doing what we are doing, and just ignore what the pediatrician recommends. It's working for us, and it sounds like she will grow up just fine if we keep doing it.

[Nazsmum]

WOW! 9 weeks ans sleep training????? I would fine a new DR.

[Jend1002]

My son has been weaned for a while now, but still fell asleep on his bedtime bottle for quite a long time. Eventually, he just stopped falling asleep while taking the last bottle - I think at about 19 months. I didn't have to do anything to get to this point - he did it on his own time. It definitely doesn't last forever! Of course, I also don't really put him to bed when he is awake. We rock after that last bottle as well!

I agree with the previous posters - I think that pediatrician's attitude is super pro-sleep training!

[alannanoelle]

Originally Posted by IndigoKoi

I think you should follow your instincts. I personally LOVED nursing my son to sleep. It was so sweet, and calming for both of us. As mizzoh said, there is stuff in breast milk that makes baby sleepy, but nursing also releases oxytocin which makes mama sleepy too. It's how nature intended it to be!

I just found an interesting article about milk making babies sleepy!
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/sleep...lk-change.html

[lookatreestar]

oh yeah drifting off to sleep snuggling/nursing my LOs is the best thing ever!! it seriously is so relaxing for us. like a pp said fwiw my dd (just over 3) has spent the night at gmas, daddy can put her to sleep, she falls asleep in bed by herself sometimes, sometimes on the sofa etc. really i never taught her how to sleep and sometimes she still nurses to sleep. it is okay!!

[IndigoKoi]

Originally Posted by alannanoelle

I just found an interesting article about milk making babies sleepy!
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/sleep...lk-change.html

Wow!! Very intersting article. Although the part that says "In order to ensure correct nutrition, the baby should be given milk at the same time of day that it was expressed from the mother's breast. "It is a mistake for the mother to express the milk at a certain time and then store it and feed it to the baby at a different time", points out the researcher. makes me a bit anxious about when/if we have baby number 2! I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my son for a year before entering nursing school. But most likely I will be working when/if we have number 2 and will prob have to pump... def not my favorite thing to do, and now there's a possibility it may not have correct nutrition Oh well... I guess it's still better than the man-made options right?

[EmTheWife]

To quote our pediatrician: "Nursing down. Nestle next to your baby and breastfeed or bottlefeed him off to sleep. The smooth continuum from warm bath, to warm arms, to warm breast, to warm bed is a recipe for sleep to soon follow. " http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp
we nurse to sleep often, but find our LO doesn't always need it, rather it depends on his mood.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

I agree with PP. We co-sleep and DD will generally fall asleep either nursing, in the sling, or on DH's shoulder. After I figured out that I don't need to change her in the middle of the night (unless it's poop which it almost never is), she STTN since she was 3 weeks old. By STTN I mean that she wakes 2-4 times to nurse, and then goes RIGHT back to sleep while nursing. I hear her stirring in her sleep, I stick a boob in her mouth, and we both doze while she nurses. She unlatches when she is done, and we both fall asleep easily. It is so perfect and natural that I simply do not believe that there is a better way.

The advice that always made the most sense to me was that the best sleep arrangement is the one that gets parents and baby the most sleep. For me, that's definitely nursing to sleep and will be for a long time to come. I don't believe that I am harming her by training her to fall asleep in the way nature intended, but I do believe I could hurt her by training a 12 week old to fall asleep by herself.

[JudiAU]

Nursing a baby to sleep is so, so much easier than the alternative. DS always nursed to sleep. DD doesn't and oh, oh OH my husband and I rue those lovely days. I think your ped is going to start giving you a lot of unwanted "help" rather than performing the role of a doctor.

[tzs]

9 weeks is so young. people are right, they fall asleep nursing because it's natural and normal.

just because you do it now doesn't mean you're going to be doing it forever or even very long if you don't want to.

i think my babe started going to sleep from an awake state around 4 months or so. yeah, i usually have nursed her beforehand but she puts herself to sleep. and this is the baby that fought sleep tooth and nail. at some point she just started being able to do it...no "training" no techniques...she just did and still does at 10 months.

[NSmomtobe]

I feel like I'm really pushing this book lately, but Elizabeth Pantley has a suggestion for breaking the suck-to-sleep association in her book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" that you can try eventually if it becomes a problem. For now, I would guess that nursing to sleep is the easiest way for both of you to get some sleep, so I probably wouldn't try to change yet. I always nurse my son to sleep during the night, and he usually pulls off himself before falling asleep. He also falls asleep many other ways, so I don't think he has this sleep association. He will not fall asleep on his own, but he is only 6 months, so I think he is still a little young for that.

[AmyKT]

Nursing went horribly for me with my first baby and I quit at 1 month (hoping and working for a better outcome this time), but even with a bottle, she was "nursed" to sleep until she was over a year old when she briefly started asking to go to bed while still awake. Now at over 2.5 we always have to "parent" our daughter to sleep, either by rubbing her back while she sits on the couch with us in the evening or by me laying down next to her in her bed until she falls asleep.

I was worried about "bad habits" when she was little, but now I see it as no big deal and I'm not going to sweat it with my second child. Some kids will always need some help from their parents to fall asleep, and it's kind of a sweet thing anyway, so if it works for you, just enjoy it. She won't need you to nurse her to sleep when she's in high school, but you'll count yourself lucky if she wants a good night hug and kiss.

[rhiOrion]

Originally Posted by IndigoKoi

Wow!! Very intersting article. Although the part that says "In order to ensure correct nutrition, the baby should be given milk at the same time of day that it was expressed from the mother's breast. "It is a mistake for the mother to express the milk at a certain time and then store it and feed it to the baby at a different time", points out the researcher. makes me a bit anxious about when/if we have baby number 2! I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my son for a year before entering nursing school. But most likely I will be working when/if we have number 2 and will prob have to pump... def not my favorite thing to do, and now there's a possibility it may not have correct nutrition Oh well... I guess it's still better than the man-made options right?

(sorry to derail the thread for a second)
I wouldn't sweat it too much. I think there is "best" and there is "good enough." Maybe it would be best for baby to get 3:00 milk at 3:00, but getting 11:00 milk at 3:00 is better than no breast milk at all.

I just pour all my milk into the same bottle all day long, and then swirl it to get it mixed back up, and then divide it up. I don't always pump the perfect amount for each bottle at each session, so that just works better for me. I've often wondered if there was something wrong with that approach, but it's the best i can do.

[dakotablue]

If you are concerned about having to 'always' nurse the baby to sleep then take notice of their naps. Can you walk/rock/wear/bounce the baby to sleep? If these occur then she is not dependent. If they don't because your not doing them then try it.

DS likes best to be nursed to sleep, but can fall asleep in the car, while in moby (now Mia Tia sp?) and just being walked around. I will admit its nice that Dh can put him to sleep because my sisters girls couldn't be put to sleep by their Daddy, but that *I think* has more to do with only being really bonded to Mom...

I would be careful with a ped like this because its little things like this that are warning flags for possible future opinions.

(Iemy ped had said he wouldn't agree with a delayed schedule, but would do it (flag) THEN later said I was EVERY peds worst nightmare and I was going to kill my son by co sleeping)