I got smacked and told I was a bad mom for not vaxxing

[saruchan]

Our homeschool group had a meeting yesterday evening so that we could plan for fall and meet new homeschooling parents. One of my friends and I were talking about her new baby and somehow vaccines came up. My friend said that she is selective/delaying and I said that we are completely anti-vax. One of the moms that was standing with us smacked me and then said I was a bad mom! It wasn't a hard smack, not like she was really trying to hurt me, but I was STUNNED! She is from a 3rd world country and was going on about how great vaxes are, herd immunity, etc. I am very non confrontational, so my friend and I just looked at each other and walked away.

Now I don't know what I should do. I don't know if this woman will come back to any meetings or get togethers. I'm thinking of emailing the leader of the group and letting her know what happened. I wanted to tell the woman that if vaxes were so great then why should she worry about my kids. If they work then we are not a threat!

[Mama~Love]

Holy crap! She *slapped* you, like in the face?!? Wow, unbelieveable! I'd file a police report. If she does that to strangers, what goes on at home?

[Arduinna]

I'd so report it to the group leader and have her barred from ever coming back. I don't care what you disagree about it's never acceptable to put your hands on another person.

[VroomieMama]

b/c I'm so I can't believe that this woman would do that! Definitely call police and file a report against her.

[nia82]

Wow. Just wow. I would have file a police report, but now I would write the group leader and make sure to exclude that person. People can have different opinions, world views, religions, but slapping them into the face for disagreeing is not only rude but also violent and illegal. Just wow.

[Annie Mac]

Where did she slap you? I think that might make a difference. Not that it's good to hit anyone, ever, but you know. A light slap on the back on the hand is a totally different story than a slap in the face.

[2ID_Wife]

I would talk with her and the leader. Her 1st reaction was not right but talk about it with her(specially from another country it might not as big of an issue) and if you don't want don't bring up vac just the 1st part of the issue.
Please if nothing but her kids and learning more American culture don't try to have her banned from the group unless she see nothing wrong with her actions and won't listen to culture difference and what is ok and isn't.

[VillageMom6]

Whoa, whoa, friends! The OP didn't say anything about being slapped on the face! She did say that it wasn't hard, like a criminal assault. Calling the police will do nothing but get the OP laughed at. "A lady at my social group lightly smacked my arm!".

That said, I am totally aghast at this woman's actions, too.

I agree with 2ID_Wife. Since there is a cultural difference, have the group leader explain that we don't use our hands to make our points and that differences of opinion are to be respected.

I'd give this crazy lady another chance... but just one more.

[saruchan]

No I wouldn't call the police on her. She smacked my cheek. It was a light smack, but still it caught me off guard. I sent an email to the leader and will wait to see what she says about it. I'm hoping it's just cultural differences and misunderstanding.

[nomadmom]

I'd be inclined to ask the smacker how she'd feel if someone hit her and called her a bad parent for not sending her child to school! My kids are/were homeschooled, so I'm not being critical of that, just pointing out how ridiculous it is to criticize a parenting choice when she herself is choosing something outside of the mainstream.

I think filing a police report is ott, but I'd definitely notify the group leader and try to educate this parent -- moreso on respecting people's choices (and bodies!) than on the vax issue, although I'd talk about that too if she could do so respectfully.

[cappuccinosmom]

While I agree that what she did was wrong and rude...

However...I'd be willing to bet that culture played a part in both her vigorous opposition and the smack. When you have seen family members be permanently disabled or died from diseases that could easily be vaccinated against, it is very difficult to comprehend a situation where vaccinations could be more dangerous than the disease.

Maybe the group leader could mediate a calm and respectful discussion between you two about what happened?

[peainthepod]

Whaaaat? A "light smack" in the face is still a slap in the face, cultural differences notwithstanding. That's felony assault. I would not be okay with that, not at all. Actually, just reading your story made my blood pressure rise and my first instinct probably would have been to hit her back as hard as I could. Admittedly, not the best solution, but that woman needs to watch out. Not everyone is going to be as non-confrontational as you are. Wow.

Personally I'd call the police and file a complaint, as well as insist that she be banned from further meetings. But you said you won't do that, so I don't know. That's about where my solutions end when it comes to someone who thinks it's okay to slap a stranger.

[Otto]

Originally Posted by peainthepod

Whaaaat? A "light smack" in the face is still a slap in the face, cultural differences notwithstanding. That's felony assault.

The name depends on the state. It would be battery in Illinois, and certainly not felonious (i.e., aggravated) battery.

[chaoticzenmom]

I normally wouldn't be that upset about a "smack." I had someone smack my hand when I said I wasn't a very good recycler. It ticked me off, but it's just her style and it didn't hurt. But in the face? That would infuriate me. I think you handled it well.

I'm interested to hear what happens with the head of the group. If it were me, I may even send an email to the woman telling her that while she may not have meant harm, you found it incredibly offensive and for her to keep her hands to herself in the future.

She's entitled to her opinion, but that was way over the top.

[Arduinna]

I'm curious in what culture it's apparantly ok to slap someone you barely know in the face because they aren't parenting the way you think they should. Really? So this is just a "cultural awareness issue" and she should just get a slide for that.

[SuburbanHippie]

I can't imagine a culture that turns a blind eye to smacking people in the face. This "woman" (not really sure if that word is appropriate for her) is off her rocker!

[VillageMom6]

No, no... I agree with you, Arduinna. No one should get a pass for slapping someone in the face (even lightly) because of cultural differences.

I thought maybe it was a cultural difference in that the lady thought it was okay to tap the OP on the arm and then give her opinion in no uncertain terms. Some cultures talk more with their hands and don't share our concerns about tact.

But clearly this woman stepped waaaay over any cultural differences line. Holy cow, would I have been stunned.

I completely agree that this situation needs to be addressed clearly by the group leader and by the OP.

[Arduinna]

I agree an arm tap and one in the face are two totally different things.


I wouldn't bother calling the police over this issue, but like I posted before, I would contact the group leader.

[2ID_Wife]

She had not said where she smacked her and I had been smacked in the back of the head, and in the arm/shoulder lightly by Korean woman for comments before. So just based on being lightly smacked as the OP said I d stand by it could be culture difference. Also it is not a crime in some places to open hand smack anyone so they see it as ok.

[Arduinna]

Just because something isn't specifically illegal, doesn't mean it's socially acceptable.