Managing the things people gift your children - Page 2

[kittywitty]

I have this problem, too. Dh will tell family (and I tell mine, but they rarely buy us anything) that we throw away most of what they give us, but it seems to have gotten worse over the years. We bring home at least 1-2 trash bags of crap from them every time we see them-at least every couple of weeks. I used to be a super minimalist, but it's gotten so bad that I can't keep up with it and the clutter is giving me panic attacks. I wish people would just stop giving us random stuff 90% of the time. We tell them they're wasting their money and our kids don't need anything (at least not the bags of dollar store toys and junk food they give us) and it seems to increase with every time we tell them. Seriously.

[KayleeZoo]

My mom keeps one of those huge popcorn tins that you see in stores around the holidays full of happy meal toys. The kids LOVE dragging all that crap out at her house and will play with it for an hour, easy. I bring the best of the toys over to her house and leave them there. With 3 kids collecting the junky toys, I have to purge them or we'd have WAY too many. I throw away the ones I don't bring to grandma's house and tell the kids so if/when they ask. We only have so much space and we can't use it up with junky crappy toys. Just the way it is.

For birthdays/Christmas/Easter and all the other times people buy crappy junky stuff, I let them play with it to their heart's content for about a week. Then I toss it.

[Oliver's Mama]

Originally Posted by kittywitty

I have this problem, too. Dh will tell family (and I tell mine, but they rarely buy us anything) that we throw away most of what they give us, but it seems to have gotten worse over the years. We bring home at least 1-2 trash bags of crap from them every time we see them-at least every couple of weeks. I used to be a super minimalist, but it's gotten so bad that I can't keep up with it and the clutter is giving me panic attacks. I wish people would just stop giving us random stuff 90% of the time. We tell them they're wasting their money and our kids don't need anything (at least not the bags of dollar store toys and junk food they give us) and it seems to increase with every time we tell them. Seriously.

If you've repeatedly told family that you do not need/want the stuff and that you throw it away, yet they continue do it anyway, that's disrespectful, IMO, and I think you have the right to just not take the stuff, period. They can't force it into your hands or car trunk when you head home.. if they really do, set it back on their curb as you pull away. Hopefully they'll get the message. There comes a time where you have to draw a fine line between receiving a gift gracefully and enabling someone's compulsive junk shopping by becoming a bottomless dumpster.

[LHarris]

Originally Posted by Oliver's Mama

If you've repeatedly told family that you do not need/want the stuff and that you throw it away, yet they continue do it anyway, that's disrespectful, IMO, and I think you have the right to just not take the stuff, period. They can't force it into your hands or car trunk when you head home.. if they really do, set it back on their curb as you pull away. Hopefully they'll get the message. There comes a time where you have to draw a fine line between receiving a gift gracefully and enabling someone's compulsive junk shopping by becoming a bottomless dumpster.

I struggle with this too. Not only do community members think we need stuff (like furniture, toys, clothes, bedding), but my MIL sends boxes and boxes of stuff a couple of times a year! I have so much clothing in storage (another thread I will visit shortly) that I feel like I'm drowning. Because shopping (2nd hand stores) makes my mil my dh doesn't want me to tell her to stop. He said we'll just deal with it on this end. He is good about helping but I still feel overwhelmed with all that she sends. I'm still sifting through from the boxes she sent a month or so ago. She sends the dollar store stuff too.

One thing that helps is to get specific about what we are looking for or needing. However, wen I do that I will get a 100 of said item!

It's an ongoing battle. Most of the stuff is either trashed or goes to the second hand store here in town.

[MonkeyPrincess]

My kids lose interest pretty quickly in that stuff. They play with it - usually a day or two, then I throw it in the donate basket/trash when I see it not being used/left out.

I finally came to the conclusion I can't make other people not buy that stuff, and if it makes my kids happy for a small amount of time...well, then at least it did that.

[BCFD]

I find myself being a collector of Fisher Price Little People and FP vintage toys. About a year ago, I went on a thrift store spending spree and found a lot of really cool collectibles and had a fun time walking down memory lane. Just yesterday, I finally put away all the Little People with the exception of about 20 people and 2 play sets. Over the last couple of days, I have totally purged all the junky dollar store/birthday party goodie bag stuff and have a huge Rubbermaid bin in the garage where it all goes. I donate to the Goodwill what seems like weekly lately!

For some reason when my first child was born, I thought she needed 304834098 items in her play kitchen. After a few years of driving myself nuts with picking them all up, I have seriously scaled it back to about 10 items with a couple pots and pans.

What I'm finding is that it's really true that if there are less toys out they will play with almost everything. And with less toys it means less clutter and less work for Mommy!

[SashaBreeze]

Originally Posted by Oliver's Mama

They can't force it into your hands or car trunk when you head home.. if they really do, set it back on their curb as you pull away. Hopefully they'll get the message.

I actually have a family member that has and will do this to us.

There have been a few times that we have not noticed until we get home and then when we are unloading the van we find our "surprise". We try to remember to check the back before leaving this persons house now.
I use to get very forceful with this person about not doing this or forcing things on the kids before we left but then I realized that this person is mentally ill and that I was not going to be able to stop them on my own so now I just try to ignore/avoid it and if it still makes it to my house I just toss it that night or the following morning.

So in a round about way I actually agree with you Oliver's Mama. Assuming that the person is not mentally ill they are NOT going to try to trick or force you to take stuff with you so yeah just say thanks but no thanks and leave it there.

[ChetMC]

Same As Others

We have four small kids, and a definite clutter problem.

When I can, I squirrel the stuff away and it shows up we're traveling and the kids need a distraction. Typically, it does not come home from the trip.

At home, stuff gets set aside, our of view, and if it isn't missed it goes to the recycling bin or the garbage.

To some degree, the junky stuff doesn't bother me when the kids really get a lot of enjoyment out of it. Some of our kids' favourite toys were pretty crappy. However, DH and I both value quality, we want our kids to value quality as well, and it's really hard to manage the junk so you don't end up knee deep in it.

A couple of weeks ago we did a weekend trip to a nearby city. The hotel gave each of our three oldest kids a small stuffed toy when we checked in. Then they gave them each another one when we checked out. That's six stuffed toys, and it's not an isolated incident. For Valentine's Day, my MIL bought four dollar store bears for our four kids, and my mom bought three for the oldest three. So that was seven at Valentine's Day...

...I have to end this post now, or it's going to turn into a rant about gifts from family.

[blizzard_babe]

Cheap-but-temporarily-cool stuff gets put away for our "flights between WI and AK" stash of random interesting objects. A few things get lost along the way, so it's better not to bring nice toys, but I don't want to go out and BUY junk just to take with us.

[zebra15]

IT goes right in the trash. Sorry but DS has no place in his room for that 'stuff' and where we are right now there is no space either. IF it can be recycled then it will, if it can be donated then fine... but junky stuff, no thanks. no room here..

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by karemore

Party goodie bags get stashed away and brought on long car rides.

and this -

We're much more careful not to pick up this stuff ourselves when we're out at community days, festivals etc. Just because it's free or cheap doesn't mean we need to bring it into our home! But it's hard to convince others of that......

I try to leave it behind/don't pick it up in the first place.

[OkiMom]

We haven't been to very many birthday parties but the few we have gone to Ive manged to sneak away without the loot bags. One lady tried to give my daughter one and I asked what was in it (candy, toy rings, necklaces) and said "Sorry but with the baby those are choking hazards" which she totally understood. Having a baby gets me out of all sorts of silly bag gifts at church parties too. Me saying that my oldest can't have something they try to sneak it to her (yea, totally diffrerent subject) but if I say the baby could choke, get sick, etc then they won't give the bag to the oldest either.

Art work gets displayed for a week then either trashed or put into their memory book if it means a lot to them or is something kind of special (like the first time my oldest actually drew something recognizable in church nursery.. yea Im a bit of a sap but I have a small box for memorable things for each child and if it doesn't fit it needs to be downsized).

Dollar store toys break so easily i let the girls play with them until they break.. which is usually by the end of the night. I try to avoid toys from the dollar store by not going there and luckily my in-laws, father and friends don't seem to be the type to have to shower trash gifts on kids.

[whoami]

Most gets donated or recycled (if possible) right away. I also have a [little bag in a closet of junky stuff that I save for a rainy day or an outing. If my son sees it then he can play with it, but the junk never stays long.

[BCFD]

I totally forgot that we do what some of the PP's have done. My SIL got my kids metal lunchboxes and we stash all the "junk" into those and they stay in the car. When we go out to eat, the kids bring their lunchbox in with them. Keeps 'em busy until our food arrives and I certainly don't care if anything from the boxes get lost!!