Another playground ettiquette thread...

[crunchy_mommy]

If a kid gets hurt -- a kid you don't know, that is -- and you are the closest adult, do you rush over to them and/or pick them up? Do you wait a few seconds to see if a parent is coming? Do you stay where you are unless it's serious?

This happened today & I was torn, it was just a very minor fall but I wasn't sure if it was appropriate/acceptable to pick her up or if that would just upset her more (and her mom)... I'd feel pretty weird if someone picked up my DS if I was just a couple feet away but I'd also want him to be comforted right away -- but he'd freak if a stranger picked him up.

ETA: The mom came after a few seconds but I felt like an idiot just standing there not doing anything (though I was also trying to make sure DS didn't fall).

[candycat]

I dunno, generally around here the consensus is that if anyone is about to be injured (like falling from equipment or something) that the nearest adult kind of steps in. It's helpful to me because my toddlers usually run off in different directions, and I can't be everywhere at once - usually it's the same for the other parents as well. We each sort of monitor one section of the playground. It's unspoken though and it's not like I'd ever "rely" on someone to pick up the slack and I always keep tabs on him - but if I can't run fast enough to prevent a problem, it's nice if someone else does.

I don't know about comforting though. My DD would probably freak out if someone else tried to help her, my DS probably wouldn't. (I tend to stay nearer to DD for this reason!) If another child injures herself near me, I usually do a quick scan to see if anyone is rushing towards her, if not, I will ask if they're OK or observe - I don't do the "freak out and rush them" even with my own kids, though, usually I benevolently ignore tumbles and such. But if it was serious, then you bet, I'd go help out whether it was my kid or someone else's. I will often make eye contact with the mother or whoever who is coming towards their kiddo to let them know that I was at least aware of the situation, and I guess I try to show that if they need help I'm available, but that doesn't tend to happen, I guess.

[alicia622]

I would watch and maybe say something in an attempt to comfort the child., I wouldn't pick a strangers child up unless there was really no parent coming to the rescue.

[laughymama]

If a child is hurt and crying and I was the closest adult I would probably squat down to their level and ask if they are okay.

I don't really "rush" even when my own child is hurt. The more calm I react the more comforted he feels and he will calm down pretty quickly.

I would never attempt to pick another person's child up or anything like that unless the injury was emergent and the child needed to be moved for safety reasons.

[mamazee]

I go in until the parent gets there.

[VillageMom6]

Oh dear, I probably would jump right in to comfort the child. I think I would look around for a second to see if another adult was rushing towards the little one.

It's just my instinct... "Child hurt. Must comfort."

[Joyster]

I wouldn't pick the kid up, but I would definitely get down on their level to comfort them, while scanning for their parent/s. My mother hen instinct wouldn't allow me not to. I remember having my child run into a parked car at the edge of the parking lot at school, he fell backwards, basically knocking the wind out of himself. There was a mother there and she basically stepped over him and not acknowledge him in any way. My son wasn't hurt, but it was one of those adult moments where your kid hurts himself and you wince. I just found it so weird and cold to not even say anything.

[Tigerchild]

I crouch down to their level and ask if they're okay. If they fell on the ground, I might offer a hand up if they're receptive. If they injured themselves seriously, I would take the appropriate first aid actions while shouting for help.

I have held lost toddlers to help them look for a parent, but only if they wanted me to--but that has never been at a playground. It's happened at the state fair a couple of times, with big crowds, where I think they just wanted someone who was staying in one place to cling to or a better vantage point for us to look for Mommy.

But no, I wouldn't run to scoop up a child I didn't know, they would HAVE to make the first move on that. The last thing I would want to do is frighten them or make them feel unsafe on top of taking a tumble.

[ChristyMarie]

Originally Posted by laughymama

If a child is hurt and crying and I was the closest adult I would probably squat down to their level and ask if they are okay.

I don't really "rush" even when my own child is hurt. The more calm I react the more comforted he feels and he will calm down pretty quickly.

I would never attempt to pick another person's child up or anything like that unless the injury was emergent and the child needed to be moved for safety reasons.

This. Exactly.

I would wait a beat and see if either an adult appeared or the child recovered on their own.

If they looked like they needed help or just comforting I would squat down and talk to them but not touch in any way. I'd probably ask if they wanted help finding mom or dad.

[JBaxter]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

I crouch down to their level and ask if they're okay. If they fell on the ground, I might offer a hand up if they're receptive. If they injured themselves seriously, I would take the appropriate first aid actions while shouting for help.

I have held lost toddlers to help them look for a parent, but only if they wanted me to--but that has never been at a playground. It's happened at the state fair a couple of times, with big crowds, where I think they just wanted someone who was staying in one place to cling to or a better vantage point for us to look for Mommy.

But no, I wouldn't run to scoop up a child I didn't know, they would HAVE to make the first move on that. The last thing I would want to do is frighten them or make them feel unsafe on top of taking a tumble.

This is me...

It would have to be really bad for me to pick up another child ... I have 4 boys so it would have to be PRETTY bad Ive seen alot.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by alicia622

I would watch and maybe say something in an attempt to comfort the child., I wouldn't pick a strangers child up unless there was really no parent coming to the rescue.

Me too. I think I would verbally try to comfort them and maybe walk over but I wouldn't pick them up unless I felt there were a medical reason.

[ShyDaisi]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

It's just my instinct... "Child hurt. Must comfort."

That is my instinct, too!

My son's birthday party was at a local park with a playground this year. I was kind of walking along side him making sure he didn't need help, taking pictures of him, etc. There was another girl that crossed paths with him whose mom was on the other side (the play structure transitioned from being open on her side to open on mine). The girl began to fall and my instinct was to catch her. It was a clumsy catch, and I think that my finger nail poked her in the cheek in the process. It also scared the crap out of her so she was crying when all was said and done. However, the mom in no way could have reached her. She was SO grateful that I did what my instincts told me to or her DD could have had a broken arm or cracked skull (it was a 5 foot fall).

I have often checked on a hurt child to see if he is okay. I will help him up if it seems warranted, and then turn the child over to the parent once he or she arrives. I wouldn't actually pick them up though as it might upset the parent and/or the child. If I saw you pick up my son, alarm bells would start ringing in my head, and I would worry this strange woman might take my child. Plus, as you said, it would upset your child to be picked up by a stranger. However, if I see you soothing, talking, comforting, and/or helping him to his own feet, I would be grateful for the temporary intervention before I could reach him.

[cappuccinosmom]

If I saw a child fall, or about to fall, I'd head in that direction, looking around for the parent. If I got there before a parent, I would reach out to prevent a fall, but if the child was already down I'd squat next to them and comfort them verbally without touching. I'd ask if they could point to their parent.

[MJB]

I'd ask if they were okay but I wouldn't run over or pick them up unless it looked serious.
I think my kids would be embarrassed if some strange adult made a big deal about a minor playground injury. Chances are they wouldn't even come to me about it.

[Shera971]

This senario happened to me a few years ago. I was at the park with my DS and his play group along with other park goers I didn't know. An older boy (maybe 5?) tripped and fell in the sand face first and didn't get up. Just lay there crying with his face in the sand. I just rushed over and picked him up, not really thinking. The mom came over after I had picked him up and brushed off his face. We had a quick conversation and she shared with me that he had some issues which is why he didn't just stand back up or at least get his face out of the sand. She said that b/c her DS had fallen he would be too upset to continue play at the park and they would have to go home. She looked reeeaaallly tired and felt sorry for her. Anywhoo, my point is that I would defnitely go over to a child that looked like they needed help and even touch them if I thought the situation needed it. And I wouldn't think anything of some one else who would help my DS up if he fell.

[eepster]

I wouldn't pickup a strangers child for a variety of reasons, but I would do all of the following:

• Catch a child before they fell.
• Ask a child if they were OK.
• Ask if they knew where their parent was.
• Offer to go get a parent.
• Stay with the child till the parent arrived.
• Call for an ambulance or some such if the situation warranted it.

The exception to the not picking up rule would be if picking the child up was necessary to prevent injury (they fell into water for example.)

[kcstar]

I would approach, prevent the fall if possible, get on their level and sympathize, maybe offer a hand back up. I think if they fell face-first in sand and were slow to get up (like a pp), I probably would help them to seated position, out of the sand.

But normally I would never pick up/hold a strange child without their parents.

[EviesMom]

Yup, same as everyone else said for me--ask if they're okay, verbal comfort, but not touch or pickup.

[One_Girl]

I would leave it to the parents. A stranger coming over may scare the child worse than the hurt did. If it is a serious fall then the child shouldn't be moved anyways until you are sure they didn't break their spine.

[crunchy_mommy]

Cool I think I'm on the same page & if the little girl's mom hadn't come right over after a second or two I think I would have knelt beside her to see if she was OK/help find mom. I still felt weird kind of just standing there as the mom came over but there wasn't anything I could do to prevent the fall (and mom didn't see it so I showed her where she fell from). In another time & place I think I would just go pick the kid up, it's hard to fight that instinct but it seems most appropriate in the US...