How to handle eating a lot of food with toddler - Page 2

[Violet2]

I like the 'antipasto toddler plate' idea--had forgotten about it actually. I'm trying to think what I can put on there that she will eat. I realize from this thread that DD is a bit more rigid on food than I had originally thought.

I am also working on expanding my repertoire of healthy recipes so I can rotate things better. DD gets bored with the same old stuff it seems. Right now I'm looking at making black bean brownies to add into the rotation.

So far I bake:

-Almond flax muffins with banana or pumpkin (to make a ginger bread)
-Oatmeal cookies with flax and dried fruit (the only oatmeal she'll eat)
-Reduced sugar peanut butter cookies with dark chocolate chips

I don't think she's sensitive to dairy, but yeah the goal is not have dairy take over. Or sugar.

I keep waiting for her to thin out and she doesn't. If she was not off the charts for height and weight, I wouldn't care what she ate so much kwim? But we've had peds already hinting about the big 'O' and I know we're going to start butting heads over that so it is helpful to check to see if she's outeating her peers or not.

As for breakfast being light on food, if I feed her yogurt and keifr with a muffin plus eggs and salsa along with sausage, it doesn't make a difference (and that's more food than we eat!!). I have experimented a lot with bigger meals. Except then maybe she won't eat dinner that night and then complains she's 'starving' at bed time I can't seem to win here.

V

[azzeps]

I didn't quite read all the posts, so if someone already mentioned this, I apologize. I highly recommend you read something by Ellyn Satter, or check out her website, www.ellynsatter.com She proposes a division of responsibility when it comes to feeding so that food doesn't become a struggle (ie, too much or too little). You can read it there, but basically it's that parents are in charge of the WHAT, WHEN and WHERE of food. Children are in charge of the WHETHER and the HOW MUCH. So basically, you put good healthy choices on the table, and she chooses how much to eat of each, and whether or not she eats it at all. If she wants to eat only butter, for example, then she eats only butter. The theory is that eventually she will learn to like a variety of foods. Also, something else that is helpful is to look at her diet over a week's time, rather than a day, because toddlers, at least mine and I think others' too, tend to eat a ton one day, and 3 bites the next day. Or one day they will eat only protein foods, and the next day only carbs or fruit or whatever. But it all balances out. Anyway, I urge you to check out either Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense or How to Get Your Kid to Eat (But Not Too Much) by Ellyn Satter.

[mizznicole]

My 2.5 yo could eat that amount plus more, but weighs 28lbs. He's gained just one pound in 6 months despite his huge appetite.

It might help your sanity to set up a snack station where DD can fix her own snack. This is done in Montessori. You need a low table with little plates bowls napkins etc. She can even learn to cut fruit like bananas.

[Violet2]

Originally Posted by azzeps

I didn't quite read all the posts, so if someone already mentioned this, I apologize. I highly recommend you read something by Ellyn Satter, or check out her website, www.ellynsatter.com She proposes a division of responsibility when it comes to feeding so that food doesn't become a struggle (ie, too much or too little). You can read it there, but basically it's that parents are in charge of the WHAT, WHEN and WHERE of food. Children are in charge of the WHETHER and the HOW MUCH. So basically, you put good healthy choices on the table, and she chooses how much to eat of each, and whether or not she eats it at all. If she wants to eat only butter, for example, then she eats only butter. The theory is that eventually she will learn to like a variety of foods. Also, something else that is helpful is to look at her diet over a week's time, rather than a day, because toddlers, at least mine and I think others' too, tend to eat a ton one day, and 3 bites the next day. Or one day they will eat only protein foods, and the next day only carbs or fruit or whatever. But it all balances out. Anyway, I urge you to check out either Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense or How to Get Your Kid to Eat (But Not Too Much) by Ellyn Satter.

I've heard of her, but aren't we supposed to honor our kids' hunger too? If DD says she's 'starving' am I not supposed to respond to that? I would never tell an adult to deal kwim.

As for the butter, ironically, DD is apparently a butter snacker. We've caught her in the butter dish more than once. DH is horrified but I know there are people who just like butter and eat it plain, so I just try to keep the dish out of her reach unless she asks for it (which she hasn't). Plus, I have to believe butter is kind of cool and interesting at DD's age.

V

[crunchy_mommy]

I only glanced at all the responses but I do have one thought -- can you give her a snack shelf/cabinet/drawer? Maybe if she has free access to some foods it will make it easier on you than having her constantly ask for stuff.

I don't know if that's a lot of food, my DS is only 17mos & barely eats, but I do think the types of food are a little weird... well mostly just a lot of dairy, and I think dairy is one of those things that you just crave more & more of... kind of addictive? Just a thought!

ETA: Sorry I don't mean to call her diet weird, it just seemed a little off to me & I couldn't quite put my finger on why, besides the dairy, but it just occurred to me that there were no vegetables in there. Does she like veggies? Maybe the fiber from the veggies would fill her up more & it would definitely provide her with more nutrition...

[Drummer's Wife]

The amount doesn't seem like too much to me. My youngest seems like he eats constantly some days. I think many toddlers are picky and do eat small amounts - but it's not abnormal to eat a decent amount of food in a day.

[azzeps]

Violet2, that's a good question. I really glossed over what is in the book. It's quite an extensive and detailed read. Anyway, part of the "deal" is that as the parent, you offer regular meals and snacks throughout the day, at predictable times (well, if not the actual time on the clock, then the "time" in your daily routine, does that make sense?). Meals/snacks are every 2-3 hours, so basically Breakfast, snack, Lunch, snack, Dinner, and maybe a bedtime snack. So chances are your child is not going to be starving. The idea is for her to come to the table hungry, but definitely not starving. If she comes to the table starving then she is unable to regulate her hunger/satiety (I don't know about you, but if I'm starving, I tend to scarf my food down and end up over-full). I think if you are offering food every 2-3 hours, then she's not likely to be starving. If she is still coming to you and asking for food, then yes, the response is, "Lunch is in half an hour." So you are asking her to wait, but not that long. And again, if you are offering the food regularly, and allowing her to eat as much as she wants, then I doubt she would be genuinely starving. I think you would have to be the judge as to whether you might need to add in additional snacks in order to meet your little girl's needs, after you try out a certain schedule and notice that she is still asking for food. But I'd bet that if she is eating as much as she wants, she won't be asking for food in the 2-3 hours between meals/snacks.

About the butter, my DD is a butter fiend too. Put the butter on the table with the bread, and let her eat it. She will probably outgrow the obsession. Mine still likes her butter, but she is less likely to grab for the dish and eat straight from it. Another thing about this Ellyn Satter stuff is that she's of the opinion that the more you try to restrict and limit your child's food intake, the more they will want to eat. I'm sure that's an inadequate explanation of exactly how that works, so I hope you can get your hands on a copy of the book. I'm sure I'm not doing it justice. It really is quite fascinating to look at learning to eat and how children develop their eating skills.

What I've found so far, and my DD is only 2.25 years old, but so far, she is a fantastically adventurous eater, compared to most children her age. I think it's because we haven't pressured her to eat, but we also have not let her dictate what she wants. She is offered what we eat, and eventually she will learn to like it and if not, she will learn to "make do" with what's on the table, even if it's not her favorite.

[Violet2]

We may end up doing bread and butter as she's really into bread right now.

Some kids can be stubborn about food. My brother spent about a year eating plain pasta and peanut butter on bread about 95% of the time.

Keep in mind, the list is what she ate, not what was offered.

Last night, she was offered a hamburger, fresh green beans, baked beans and apricots.

All she ate was the bun and some apricots.

We offer her a great diet as a general rule (hot dogs and cheezits aside, which the cheezits are finally gone now) but what she eats is not and I don't have any control over that--hence the focus on quantity which is where I do have some influence.

Right now, she's refusing to eat lunch altogether.

V

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Violet2

Right now, she's refusing to eat lunch altogether.

V

When this happens to us, I say, Ok you can eat later! To my ds, and then I put it in the fridge, and get it out when he's hungry next. He'll always take at least a few bites of whatever it was, and then if he won't finish it thats fine he can have something else.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it. My brother was the fattest baby on the planet practically, he eats like a pig - STILL at 26 - and weighs no more than 150. He slimmed out majorly after turning 5 - until then he was chubby. (and yes, he was in the 95th and up percentiles for height and weight - on the american charts - and he was adopted from Korea at 3mo).

[Violet2]

Originally Posted by thyra

When this happens to us, I say, Ok you can eat later! To my ds, and then I put it in the fridge, and get it out when he's hungry next. He'll always take at least a few bites of whatever it was, and then if he won't finish it thats fine he can have something else.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it. My brother was the fattest baby on the planet practically, he eats like a pig - STILL at 26 - and weighs no more than 150. He slimmed out majorly after turning 5 - until then he was chubby. (and yes, he was in the 95th and up percentiles for height and weight - on the american charts - and he was adopted from Korea at 3mo).

I'm going to assume she's like your brother. We do a lot of things right, we have avoided the most common pitfalls as far as I can tell. She sees us exercise, we keep her as active as we can etc... So I assume this is just her body, but it has been really helpful to know she's eating comparably to everyone else.

I don't care if she eats lunch--it'll sit there until she's ready-- I'm just pointing out for pp that I do offer food, but as for whether or not she eats it achieve a super great diet is a whole other issue.

V

[crunchy_mommy]

Hmm the only other suggestion I have if you want to encourage her to eat more of the foods you're offering is to find a spice or sauce she likes. My DS doesn't care much for bread, for ex., but if we put hot sauce on it he'll eat it (I don't actually care if he eats bread so that's a dumb example I guess but you get my point)... So like with the green beans, were they spiced up? Or did you/could you put salad dressing or ketchup or whatever she likes on them? I know you wanted advice only on the quantity of food but in my experience the variety of the diet & whether it's nutritionally balanced etc. does affect how much they eat...

Today DS only ate 2 bites at breakfast & 3 at lunch, I wish he'd eat a little more. I think toddlers just like to stress us out

[Violet2]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

Hmm the only other suggestion I have if you want to encourage her to eat more of the foods you're offering is to find a spice or sauce she likes. My DS doesn't care much for bread, for ex., but if we put hot sauce on it he'll eat it (I don't actually care if he eats bread so that's a dumb example I guess but you get my point)... So like with the green beans, were they spiced up? Or did you/could you put salad dressing or ketchup or whatever she likes on them? I know you wanted advice only on the quantity of food but in my experience the variety of the diet & whether it's nutritionally balanced etc. does affect how much they eat...

Today DS only ate 2 bites at breakfast & 3 at lunch, I wish he'd eat a little more. I think toddlers just like to stress us out

The green beans were delicious! I blanched them and then sauteed them with garlic, onion and 1 strip diced bacon. Really really good. I got big thumbs up from everyone but DD.

DD is not a veggie person. I just keep offering, sometimes sneaking them in and occasionally trying to convince her to try something, but mostly letting her decide what to eat.

We've done dip stuff, she eats the dip and not the veggie. Or she chews the veggie, sucks off the dip and spits out the veggie. She doesn't even eat french fries (a rare treat), just uses them as a ketchup delivery system.

V

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Violet2

The green beans were delicious! I blanched them and then sauteed them with garlic, onion and 1 strip diced bacon. Really really good. I got big thumbs up from everyone but DD.

DD is not a veggie person. I just keep offering, sometimes sneaking them in and occasionally trying to convince her to try something, but mostly letting her decide what to eat.

We've done dip stuff, she eats the dip and not the veggie. Or she chews the veggie, sucks off the dip and spits out the veggie. She doesn't even eat french fries (a rare treat), just uses them as a ketchup delivery system.

V

OMG!! This is my ds to a T!! It's so funny!

[Violet2]

Originally Posted by thyra

OMG!! This is my ds to a T!! It's so funny!

kids are weird eaters.

I'm just trying to be zen about veggies and just get in the suggested 15-30 servings it takes before they start supposedly eating this stuff.

V

[Alyantavid]

That doesn't sound like a lot of food. I won't comment on what you're feeding her since you don't want that, but I will suggest putting some things in a place she can reach so she can get her own snacks to a point.

[Thalia]

It sounds like you are offering her some great stuff, but what she's choosing isn't always the greatest for keeping her full.

One thing that has been working for us lately with almost 3yo DD is to put out one or two things at a time, with the healthiest stuff first, in quite small portions. So DD loves fruit, but isn't so crazy about veggies or salmon. I give her a really small portion of veggies, sometimes just a couple of teaspoons, and the salmon. I do ask her to try a bite of each before giving anything else. Sometimes she refuses, and then I'll give her other healthy stuff she likes better, but often she'll go ahead and try it, and sometimes will eat more than I expect. But if the fruit is right there competing with other other stuff right away, forget it. Just a thought.

Another thought is that if she really likes kefir in the morning, what about a kefir smoothie with some veggies hidden in it? Or fish or flax oil? The fiber in the veggies or the fat in the oil might help keep her feeling full longer.

Finally, the other thing that's been helping us lately in expanding DD's repertoire is really talking up why certain foods (the unfamiliar ones she doesn't like as much, especially veggies) are so good for her body. I thought I was already doing this, but when I really paid attention to it and tried to do it more, it seemed to help.

[Lilygoose]

"ETA: I had some all fruit spread on hand. 8g sugar vs. 5 for the reduced sugar jam we use. I harp on it b/c there are some erroneous inferences (and judgments imo) being made here"

Sorry if my wording was misleading. It was not my intent to sound judgemental in the least. There are a wide variety of opinions on nutrition and what is healthy and many of them are no better or worse than others. It generally depends on your focus. Really I put the term all fruit b/c that is what we call it, not to imply that jelly (with less sugar or not) is any worse (I actually don't worry about naturally occurring sugars, and my DD gets treats with refined sugar in them on an occasional basis as well). Some people are vegetarian and consider meat unhealthy/ethical. People who follow a paleolithic diet completely disagree. Some people want their food in its most natural form, others focus on sugars/carbs, etc. Some people only focus on calories. All of these philosophies have value. None is more correct than the other and no judgement on my part was meant.

[InMediasRes]

Oh, heck yeah, my DS could have eating that and maybe twice that at that age. He's freaking huge for his age. He was also dairy obsessed at 2.5yo. He would drink milk, milk, and more milk. Some of our biggest tantrums were over his milk cup not being as full as possible after he took the first sip.

He's 3.5yo now. The eating has calmed down A LOT. Now the struggle is more over getting him to eat right. He is a carb junkie. He would eat cereal and granola bars for every meal if I let him. He likes a lot of veggies, but they're not his first choice.

Of course, I think emotional eating can start at this age for sure. Did I read right that the world average for weaning from the breast is 4yo? That tells me that a lot of kids have sucking needs until that time. Since my DS isn't bfing anymore, I would bet that he's comfort eating to replace that need. In fact, I KNOW he is. If he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, the first thing he does is ask for food. If he doesn't get it immediately, he'll say "I need something in my mouth." It's pretty telling to me that he whines about being hungry constantly until I shoo him outside, then when I offer him food to get him to come back in the house, he's magically not hungry anymore.

She won't eat much meat, huh? For protein, I really like nuts. Today, we made a "treat" of PB and flaked unsweetened coconut rolled into little balls and then coated with flax seed meal. If you're feeling fun, you can add melted dark chocolate to it. Then you put them on a plate and freeze them. DS had fun making them, they were yummy, and totally filling.

I'm going to try the snack tray idea too. Also, it sounds really wacky, but my kids love "freezy peas". Seriously, frozen peas right out of the freezer. They think it's better than ice cream. Frozen blueberries are good in the summer too. They take a little longer to eat and seem to be more satisfying.

[azzeps]

Oh, I totally get you on the "offerings"!! My daughter does the same thing. The point is that she sees you eating it and enjoying it and then one day she might touch it or play with it, and then another day she might actually pick it up and lick it or smell it, or take a tiny bite, and then she might spit that out, and then another day she'll take a teeny tiny bite from a small chunk, and then actually put the rest of the chunk in her mouth and swallow it, but not eat any more of it. And then one day she will eat it like a normal human being!!! LOL!!! I am sure you are offering her a wide variety, and that is great, just keep at it. I think it can take 15-20 exposures to a food before they'll even eat it, so we just have to keep putting it out there on the table.