Last spring, one of our county's social worker arranged some kind of funding to pay for my dd1 (H) to enroll in a 6 weeks summer day camp program. This social worker asked me if H had any plan visiting her grandma & dad and I told her (the social worker) that I hadn't arranged anything with them. She advised me to get back to her with schedule of when H will go to the camp and when H will be with grandma & dad.
H's grandma & dad had planned to go to Texas for Church's choir event but they decided not to go because they didn't have enough money to buy airfare for H, grandma, dad, his gf and gf's dd.
Few days ago, H's grandma called me and told me that she had arranged day care for H while she goes to work during the day and would spend the time with H during the evening. H's dad also planned to go to work next week too and did not feel comfortable with the idea of leaving H with his gf when he goes to work. It was because of a situation that happened last fall (see thread here) and didn't want anything new to happen this time. Even if his gf and I had talked about the situation and she is familiar with H's past. We discussed, clarified and agreed what the rules & boundaries are. I feel comfortable and trust her now but dad seems unsure. Then, I talked to H about it and she was really upset and said " I don't want to go to the daycare! I thought they were going to spend all day with me all week!" I thought they would too but they had already told their boss few weeks ago that they weren't going to Texas.
I told my DH that I wondered if they forgot that H was coming this Sunday and would stay with grandma all week so they end up having to get her in a daycare during the day time. My DH said it was not worth speculating why they did not take the time off work to spend time with H but can understand why H & I feel disappointed about this.
I'm just more frustrated and sad for H b/c she don't get to see her dad even if he only lives 1 1/2 hrs away. We're the ones who's always driving to Baltimore (about one or two times a month) b/c my folks lives there and we usually let H's dad know when we're in town so he'd come to visit her. Sometimes he would but not often. I just feel bad for H because he RARELY made an effort to come down here to visit H and I often would ask him to come to visit for holidays or something, he'd make excuse like "Oh, I can't use my gf's SUV b/c she's got NY plates" or "I planned to go to happy hour (even if he doesn't drink & his gf's pregnant) to see some friends on Friday and Saturday I'm busy then Sunday I have Church" etc..etc.. many lame excuses. His last excuse was, "I needed to paint the baby's room" after he told me that he decided not to come for H's first dance recital and I got so really mad and called his mom (H's grandma) and begged her to convince dad to come so he came. It made H's night when he came & she spend days smiling that her dad came to see her dancing. It also made me happy for her.
He often said that he just doesn't feel like driving 1 1/2 hour or more b/c of the traffic. Traffic on 95 South near my home do get really bad and sometimes I get stuck for an extra hour or more. I live about 30 minutes South of DC so I can understand that but it shouldn't stop him.
I'm just tired of his strange priorities & excuses.
Ok, I feel better and hope I can sleep.
H's grandma & dad had planned to go to Texas for Church's choir event but they decided not to go because they didn't have enough money to buy airfare for H, grandma, dad, his gf and gf's dd.
Few days ago, H's grandma called me and told me that she had arranged day care for H while she goes to work during the day and would spend the time with H during the evening. H's dad also planned to go to work next week too and did not feel comfortable with the idea of leaving H with his gf when he goes to work. It was because of a situation that happened last fall (see thread here) and didn't want anything new to happen this time. Even if his gf and I had talked about the situation and she is familiar with H's past. We discussed, clarified and agreed what the rules & boundaries are. I feel comfortable and trust her now but dad seems unsure. Then, I talked to H about it and she was really upset and said " I don't want to go to the daycare! I thought they were going to spend all day with me all week!" I thought they would too but they had already told their boss few weeks ago that they weren't going to Texas.
I told my DH that I wondered if they forgot that H was coming this Sunday and would stay with grandma all week so they end up having to get her in a daycare during the day time. My DH said it was not worth speculating why they did not take the time off work to spend time with H but can understand why H & I feel disappointed about this.
I'm just more frustrated and sad for H b/c she don't get to see her dad even if he only lives 1 1/2 hrs away. We're the ones who's always driving to Baltimore (about one or two times a month) b/c my folks lives there and we usually let H's dad know when we're in town so he'd come to visit her. Sometimes he would but not often. I just feel bad for H because he RARELY made an effort to come down here to visit H and I often would ask him to come to visit for holidays or something, he'd make excuse like "Oh, I can't use my gf's SUV b/c she's got NY plates" or "I planned to go to happy hour (even if he doesn't drink & his gf's pregnant) to see some friends on Friday and Saturday I'm busy then Sunday I have Church" etc..etc.. many lame excuses. His last excuse was, "I needed to paint the baby's room" after he told me that he decided not to come for H's first dance recital and I got so really mad and called his mom (H's grandma) and begged her to convince dad to come so he came. It made H's night when he came & she spend days smiling that her dad came to see her dancing. It also made me happy for her.
He often said that he just doesn't feel like driving 1 1/2 hour or more b/c of the traffic. Traffic on 95 South near my home do get really bad and sometimes I get stuck for an extra hour or more. I live about 30 minutes South of DC so I can understand that but it shouldn't stop him.
I'm just tired of his strange priorities & excuses.
Ok, I feel better and hope I can sleep.
