Renaming an adoptive child? - Page 2

[ErinYay]

Originally Posted by ladymeag

As a birthmom, would I have been hurt if my daughter's parents chose to change her name? No. She is joining thier family and they may need control over her identity with them from the start to feel the bond, connect or simply feel fully engaged in the process of becoming a family.

HTH.

I'm also a birthmother, and though my experience was one where Mira was adopted at birth so I can't speak about renaming an older child, I'd like to chime in in full agreement. Her parents told me what they were going to name her when I was still pregnant, so I used her first as her middle on her first birth certificate- Lily Mira, as I really liked Lily (so did they, but they'd already named their Golden that!)

[vxclayborn]

Our FD will keep her middle name (we call her by her middle name) and will change her first and last name. It is so fitting and cute right now, but I suspect at a later age she won't want to have a "stage name".

Our AS's entire name will be changed. He's only 11 months and his name could be fairly embarrassing. We will call him both his new and old name together for awhile and eventually phase out his birth name.

Regardless, we will be calling both by their middle names in hopes that when they are older they feel some control re: whether they want to be called by thier first or middle name.

[hannahgrace]

We are in process of adopting two little brothers. We will be keeping their names as they do know them. We will change the spelling of both names as they both are not spelled correctly and ones spelling is very feminine. We told their biological father of our intentions to change the spellings and he was totally fine with it. (He did not chose the spellings and English is not his first language). The biological mother frequently spells their names in different ways, so I do not think spelling really matters. I think we will give them new middle names, keep their birth last name, and add our last name to the very end.

I think naming is a case by case situation. I had a talk with an adopted 16 year old the other day who thinks we should totally change the boys names because she is glad her name is changed. Because of this, I just cant judge adoptive parents on their decisions on naming.

[Proxi]

I just thought I would throw in my two cents. I have many adopted people in my family, most of them had their names changed when they were adopted. My husband's Mother gave him a list of names to choose from, and he remembers it being really cool that he got to choose his name.

I have seen adoption result in some pretty big trauma (although I still support it whole-heartedly as an adoptee) but never has it related to the name. So I wouldn't worry about it :-D!