So upset and I don't know what to do next. (long) *UPDATED* - Page 2

[Mommabean]

After 4 weeks of hassling the mortgage company NON STOP every day for answers we got the modification paperwork in and accepted. It is off to the next step and could be 4-8 weeks till we hear something but my plan is to call once a week every week till I get results.

This has been a hard roller coaster and I'm just praying that something turns around.

I've been purging out the house to sell things and make money to put towards debt. I reworked the budget and ds will not be going back to the same preschool but a parent's day out program at our church that is way cheaper. I also have a part time position with the church that will give me up to 10 hours a week and this will give us an extra 200-350 a month! I also am on the sitter list and this pays 10/hour if I am called as well as being on the list of substitute teachers for the program ds will be a part of.

[onetwoten]

Wow! Sounds like you guys are making some great progress. *hugs* mama, I know it's not easy to alter a budget that already seems like it's stretched so thin. Major kudos for finding those little things that add up!

[2cutiekitties]

Can I just be a nosy nelly and ask what kind of car you have? Is that what people pay these days? Yikes. For that money, you better be driving a really nice butt car, or maybe I am so out of the loop.

[surrogate]

Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties

Can I just be a nosy nelly and ask what kind of car you have? Is that what people pay these days? Yikes. For that money, you better be driving a really nice butt car, or maybe I am so out of the loop.

I was wondering that too...i paid 2K cash for my 04 grandam last year...my insurance is $300 a YEAR...I love having a paid for car, esp now that I am BROKE

[Mommabean]

we have just the one family car to fit our family of 5 (on occasion 6) and it's a Ford Flex...since it's our only car payment we don't see a problem with it that high....when we had two vehicles (dh had a truck I had a sentra) our combined payments were 416 and our insurance was MUCH higher. Our payment is 467 and our insurance is 102 a month (for the car and flex).

[surrogate]

yeah but you could sell that and get a used van for 2k

[zebra15]

Im glad things are staring to get better. I would still make some adjustments. I would call to reduce to cable cost or cancel it for now. If you have a cell phone you dont need a land line. With DH all over the place I see why you want a cell. I use the library for dvd's and order things online and go pick them up 1-2x a week. When my DS was younger Id use the library kids area for 'playtime' and for a change of pace.

[Mommabean]

Ok some more great news!

I have talked to another electrical company that services our area and will be switching over to them (plus they offer the budget plan that our current company doesn't offer)...and we have looked at AT&T's new plans and will switch to that. These two changes should amount to a savings of 75 a month. (possibly more but we won't know until the average billing starts with the new company...I really pray it's more)

DS will go to a Mom's Day out program which teaches with a preschool setting at my church like I said and it'll be 100 a month. Honestly I can't give this up because it allows me more time to work at church myself and gain more hours a week. So that saves 40 a month and will help me work my 10 hours a week kid free.

I lowered our monthly plan with the doctor's office....so that saves another 25/month


The BEST part of everything??
DH worked out a deal with his brother and he is going to buy our Sentra from us by paying us $100 a week. The deal is that the cost of the car is the debt we owe on one of our CC and he said DEAL! So that puts 400 a MONTH towards that debt and then we can put our focus on our other CC and pay it 200/month. DH got a HUGE bonus this month and we put almost 75% towards CC debt ...so if we stick it out we can be free from the CC debt in 6 MONTHS!

With his brother taking over the car it will be in his name (we have it paid off) ...so our car insurance will drop 25 a month!

So in all we are saving ourselves 165 a month and will put $70 towards the CC debt (that's why I said 200 above). Now to go to the budget sheet and rework it to see where we are at...and to PRAY that a modification goes through. If it doesn't go through I know I will figure it out...this is a day to day thing at this moment but I am really trying to lower everything I can.

[lmonter]

Wow, you have made a ton of progress! It's kind of trippy how things start happening when you take the bull by the horns sometimes.

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by Mommabean

In the town we live in we have to have a car and we only have the one car...we had to sell the other....plus walking isn't an option with three kids in my state..I am 2 years post op from spinal fusion and just had a baby...I'm still working on regaining my abdominal strength in order to even walk enough to grocery shop...having 3 kids isn't easy to ride share with others because they're all in car seats.

Do you qualify for disability at all?

[mbhf]

Originally Posted by Mommabean

The BEST part of everything??
DH worked out a deal with his brother and he is going to buy our Sentra from us by paying us $100 a week.

With his brother taking over the car it will be in his name (we have it paid off) ...so our car insurance will drop 25 a month!

Please be very, very careful with this decision. Agreeing to take payments from a friend or family member for a car (or whatever) may work out really well for both parties but once the car is in his name it is his car. My ILs recently went through this with my BILs long term live in girlfriend, they had known her for 5 years and they were completely shocked when the day after they signed the title over to her she left town with the car. They have no legal rights to the car whatsoever.

[Mommabean]

Originally Posted by Thystle

Do you qualify for disability at all?

No actually I am better off now that I've had my surgery and can work whereas before my surgery I could barely get out of bed or walk around my own house! But since I posted this I have been exercising again and I have gotten back up and moving! I feel so amazing and am getting stronger as each day passes!

Originally Posted by mbhf

Please be very, very careful with this decision. Agreeing to take payments from a friend or family member for a car (or whatever) may work out really well for both parties but once the car is in his name it is his car. My ILs recently went through this with my BILs long term live in girlfriend, they had known her for 5 years and they were completely shocked when the day after they signed the title over to her she left town with the car. They have no legal rights to the car whatsoever.

DH and his family have an amazing relationship and his brother is extremely reliable on this one. On the plus side dh's mom is behind us on this and no matter what we will get paid, plus the brother in law has NO place to go and he lives with the mil

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by Mommabean

DH and his family have an amazing relationship and his brother is extremely reliable on this one. On the plus side dh's mom is behind us on this and no matter what we will get paid, plus the brother in law has NO place to go and he lives with the mil

Maybe at least write up a contract? I have to admit I'd be really uncomfortable with this arrangement, but then again that might just be 'cause I've watched too much Judge Judy when I'm home sick. Just be careful... what if he loses his job or something & just *can't* pay you? Because it's family, it's an especially tricky situation... I'd be inclined to ask MIL or someone who at least has more cash flow to pay the whole car cost outright to you & have BIL pay her off instead... Or at least have the car in both your names until he's paid it off...

[robin4kids]

I hate to break everyone's bubble, but preschool is a waste of money and does nothing that one parent could not do at home in 30 minutes with their child. See if their are some local free playgroups or start your own. Preschool is really only about socialization. You have 2 other children, so your child knows how to socialize. Also preschool was created so that moms had daycare for their older child. It is just a big babysitter.

Also there are houses out there with very big bedrooms and open floor plans, so that even though you are living in a smaller place, it feels bigger, because there are not as many walls. We are moving to a smaller house. We have 5 children and were living in a house with 6 small bedrooms. Our new house only has 4. 3 of the bedrooms are large, so kids are bunking up. Besides it is good for kids to share space.

I know that everything will turn around for you soon!

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by robin4kids

I hate to break everyone's bubble, but preschool is a waste of money and does nothing that one parent could not do at home in 30 minutes with their child. See if their are some local free playgroups or start your own. Preschool is really only about socialization. You have 2 other children, so your child knows how to socialize. Also preschool was created so that moms had daycare for their older child. It is just a big babysitter.

That's a narrow-minded view.

There are children who do well with preschool for various reasons and others who don't want or need it. I don't think it's legitimate to make a blanket statement about what is or isn't acceptable or needed for every family. Besides, the OP said she's moving to a mother's morning out program, and even when those say they're "preschool-based," they're still pretty much all about playing.

The problem with "free" playgroups is that they aren't free. Someone has to volunteer. Someone has to bring snacks. Someone has to have the right location. In the end, I would imagine a mother's morning out program is more convenient, especially if, in this case, it allows the OP to work while her child attends.

[sanguine_speed]

I suppose it's too late now (?), but a Ford Flex is an expensive car that is not necessary for 3 kids. If you still need more room in the budget, this is the obvious amputation. If you're upside-down, you might be wise to cut your losses in this case, as quickly as possible.

[Mommabean]

Well things went completely SOUTH in the last 3 weeks.

We found out that our property manager STOPPED paying on our house back in the Midwest. 4 MONTHS of no payments and we finally found out (he changed the billing address and phone numbers it's a long sad horrid story). So I am having got make an emergency trip back up there to figure it out.

No word on our modification, but with the issue on that other house we could lose out on the mod, and end up with no house at all. Frightening but it's one of the long lines of things that could happen out of this mess. So I try to just NOT talk about it, and do what we can day to day on it.


GOOD thing?
Well our church opened up a new pool of workers for childcare. So I am now working as I can doing childcare at church (up to 10 hours a week) at 9/hour! On the plus side I can take all three kids with me!! This is an amazing opportunity and feel so blessed that we belong to such an amazing church!

Oh and the program I put ds4 in at church I have been asked if I'd like to teach there if they open up a baby room. I said of course! Then I'll get a discount on the tuition, and dd will only be down the hall from me, and of course there's the fact I'll be bringing in more money month! So if that pans out I'll have 3 jobs with my church that could net around 900 a month in extra income for us and I won't have to pay childcare!