Can't deal with the biting : (

[GreenGranolaMama]

Ds is 14 months old and bites me during our bed time routine almost every night. Here is how it goes

Dinner
Play inside or out
Play in our bedroom, door shut
Read a couple of books, play with his ball or dolls
Nurse a little, maybe play a little more
Nurse *Ok here is where the biting starts*
He'll bite me while nursing, I'll saw "NO biting please" stop nursing
He fusses, does the sign for milk or grabbs for my shirt
We try nursing again, he bites , again I say "No biting"
Sometimes he will lunge at me and try and bite my shoulder, hand, belly and smile like it's a game

Recently, I've started getting up and leaving the room, shutting the door behind me and standing at the door, counting to 30 seconds or a minute. Tonight I did this three times, and each time he sits on the bed screaming (and it breaks my heart), but when I go back in and try to nurse again, he just bites me again!

What am I doing wrong???????????

[Super~Single~Mama]

You aren't doing anything wrong!!! But, it sounds like he's teething - when my ds was that age he was still working on his 1yo molars. So I would give him some tylenol, or motrin, and then once that kicked in nurse him again - and he wouldn't bite.

My DS also has always had a very good understanding of what I'm saying to him, so when he would bite, I would put him down, and walk away. Then when he started crying I would go back and say, DS I love you very much, but when you bite I can't hold you. When you bite me I have to put you down and walk away. When I'm super consistent with that, he hardly bites at all. And, when he bites while nursing, its *at least* 5-10 minutes before I'll let him try again.

[momto4plus4]

Ditto thyra. Teething was the first thing that popped into my head. I also agree with everything else she said. Remember that when you tell him no bite it's a gentle form of tough love. It's better he learn now than later. I also agree with her about waiting 5-10 minutes. He really needs to understand that biting is not acceptable. At 14 months, he can do this, it will just take time. I like the idea of snuggling when he starts crying but still holding off for a period of time before offering the breast again. I'm so sorry-I hope he gets through this soon!!!

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by momto4plus4

Ditto thyra. Teething was the first thing that popped into my head. I also agree with everything else she said. Remember that when you tell him no bite it's a gentle form of tough love. It's better he learn now than later. I also agree with her about waiting 5-10 minutes. He really needs to understand that biting is not acceptable. At 14 months, he can do this, it will just take time. I like the idea of snuggling when he starts crying but still holding off for a period of time before offering the breast again. I'm so sorry-I hope he gets through this soon!!!

If that works for you then thats amazing! My son won't snuggle unless he's nursing, and even then the snuggles is limited. Especially if I'm trying to snuggle him when he wants to nurse, and not nurse him - he loses it! So, I try to distract him while we wait to nurse again.

And I forgot to add, if he bites twice in a row, he gets milk in a sippy - NOT the boob. He learned pretty quickly - but it takes TONS of consistency. I felt badly sometimes about not nursing him, or putting him down when he was biting me - but I don't now. I'm not here to get bitten and pinched and hit and generally beat up - DS has to learn not to do those things, and it's my job to teach him.

[GreenGranolaMama]

Originally Posted by thyra

You aren't doing anything wrong!!! But, it sounds like he's teething - when my ds was that age he was still working on his 1yo molars. So I would give him some tylenol, or motrin, and then once that kicked in nurse him again - and he wouldn't bite.

I forgot to add in my OP 'night time cycle of biting list' that when he first bites, (after saying no and taking the boob away) I offer him his choice of teething toys. I also tried a frozen banana thinking he would love it as he loves bananas- HUGE mistake! The fact that it was frozen and he could not bite pieces off made him upset.

[Auraji]

I hear ya. Sophia has been biting me for the past 4-5 months while nursing. She does it sometimes during the day, but specially at nighttime, mostly when I'm trying to put her to sleep, she's really tired, but refuses to sleep. She bites really hard and I've been losing my patience. Lately I put her in her crib, that never gets used for any other reason, walk out of the room and get a glass of water or go pee. It makes me not be mad and continue the let's go night night routine.

I really can't wait for her to get over it, it's been going on for way too long.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by GreenGranolaMama

I forgot to add in my OP 'night time cycle of biting list' that when he first bites, (after saying no and taking the boob away) I offer him his choice of teething toys. I also tried a frozen banana thinking he would love it as he loves bananas- HUGE mistake! The fact that it was frozen and he could not bite pieces off made him upset.

At that age, my son HATED teething toys. He loved to bite me when he was teething, but he would not touch a teething toy.

[daniturtle]

I agree you are not doing anything wrong. Teething is what made Thalia do this and it was a phase and it DID pass!

Like the other posters said- Keep doing what you are doing, maybe adding hyland's teething tablets or baby motrin or whatever your preferred method of pain relief is (something I did at this stage was add ~5 drops of chamomile tincture and ~5 drops of lemon balm tincture to the water Thalia drank at dinner time, but I also did motrin, hyland's, amber necklace...).

Thalia used to bite me at other times too- when she was angry or frustrated and on the advice of people here I got the Elizabeth Verdick book "Teeth are not for biting" which Thalia LOVES. We still read it. Sometimes I can tell she wants to bite me (opens mouth wide and makes moves towards me) when she's upset nowadays but I say "Ouch, Biting hurts! Teeth are not for biting, honey" and she stops herself. It's pretty freakin' amazing, I gotta say. So that might be worth looking into. If nothing else it gives you a script - something to say when you are feeling frustrated.

By the way, it never helped Thalia to have something else to bite instead of me...she's the same way about pinching me when she's mad- she doesn't want to pinch or punch a pillow-- it's ME she's annoyed with not the pillow! hahahahahah.

[GreenGranolaMama]

Originally Posted by Auraji

I hear ya. Sophia has been biting me for the past 4-5 months while nursing. She does it sometimes during the day, but specially at nighttime, mostly when I'm trying to put her to sleep, she's really tired, but refuses to sleep. She bites really hard and I've been losing my patience. Lately I put her in her crib, that never gets used for any other reason, walk out of the room and get a glass of water or go pee. It makes me not be mad and continue the let's go night night routine.

I really can't wait for her to get over it, it's been going on for way too long.

Aura, this is us completely! It is so frustrating! I do the same thing, when he bites me and I'm starting to get fed up, I'll walk to the kitchen for a minute, get a drink and try to re center myself before going back in. Some nights bed time is no problem at all, and other nights it feels like a battle