Yikes!

[lifeintheslowlane]

We have been fortunate to have two healthy children, 2 years apart. In my initial post-partum time with our second, I would joke to DH about wanting another baby...but as our two get older (nearing 2 and 4), I definetly am feeling very satisified, happy, and complete with the idea of a family of 4. Also, I just finished up a long worked on graduate degree...literally took my boards a few days ago...and that has been really stressful with having two young children and a husband who works LONG hours to support us. So I have to say I was ready for a couple months of at home time with the kids while I look for a part-time job which could fit our family's needs (hours-wise and financially).

So...DH and I woke early a few days ago and DTD. I used a diaphragm (we've never been unprotected since I became pregnant with DC2) and a small amount of spermicide. All went well. A few hours later, when DH was at work, I removed the diaphrgam. However, when I tried to remove it, it didn't seem to be in the right place. It seemed like it was way to high up and sort of flipped when I removed it. It seemed like there was a lot of semen on it...but I couldn't tell which side it was on. I wasn't really thinking too much of it at the time so didn't look to closely before washing it. Now, a day later, I have begun to panic. (It may relate to finding out a freind is having a 3rd unplanned pregnancy). I think I would be fertile right now. My last period began sometime around june 23rd or 24th...I'm not really sure...we are so consistent with contraception that I don't pay that much attention...

Anyway, I am FREAKING myself out. I know I would ADORE another child. However, I don't know if I would CHOOSE another one. I would choose to adopt another before doing the pregnancy/birth/etc. thing over. My second pregnancy was definetly harder and I still occasionally have some residual hip pain, etc. from that.

Plus, DH only wants two. He has always said that, though we've talked about the idea of fostering/adopting and he would do that. He is adament for social/environmental/resource reasons...

So, I feel like a third would be so hard for him, for us right now...I know he really believes that two is the 'right' number for us...and I think a third would break his heart in a way...

I am so worried about this...ridiculously worried.

And I know if I am pregnant, I should feel fortunate...and I know I will eventually...but I am really petrified of finding out I am pregnant. Ironically, I just talked to my friend who found out they were having a surprise, and had said "oh, maybe I could fly out to San Fran in March and help you out for a weekend" (a vacation for me and first time away from my two children, and to give her some support as her husband travels)...

YIKES! Any sage advice...(don't worry about chickens before they hatch???)

[writteninkursive]

Ha. I guess you are stuck in the waiting boat.

One thing I have to say about diaphragms is that they are relatively ineffective at preventing pregnancy for women who have previous children. I got one after my second baby, and my doc laughed and told me that they don't fit mothers who have had children already the same and allow for semen to seep around the edges. The spermicide would have helped the situation though.

I wouldn't stress about it because if you do, then you'll likely have the typical worry-induced late period, which will freak you out even more and you'll find yourself at Walgreens buying your fifteenth pregnancy test in two weeks. Lol. So sit tight, go about your life, assume you're not pregnant (although maybe avoid cocaine or boozing every night as a precaution ), and in like three weeks, take a test, read it right, and throw it away if it's negative, and don't look back. Lol. At least that's my recipe for a worry-free scare.

Good luck!

[*MamaJen*]

Well, too late now, but if it happens again, you could always get the Plan B pill.

[Mom2SammyJoe]

Just to comment on a PP's mention of decreased diaphragm efficacy after childbirth, here is some information I found from http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DiaphragmsAndCaps/

Cervical caps and Today sponges are definately less effective after birth, but not so much with diaphragms. 94% effective does not seem "relatively ineffective" to me.


How effective are diaphragms and cervical caps?

If you are looking for an effective non-hormonal, non-invasive method of contraception, then a diaphragm or cervical cap may be just the thing for you. Contraceptive Technology (17th ed. 1998) p. 216, says that used correctly and consistently (perfect use) the effectiveness of diaphragms and caps are:

DeviceNulliparous WomenParous Women
Diaphragm94%94%
Cervical Cap91%74%

On average, for women who have not had children a cap is about as effective as condoms or a diaphragm. For women who have had children, the cap may be somewhat less effective. Ultimately, the effectiveness for each wearer will depend on how well her cap or diaphragm fits her and if she uses the device correctly and consistently. For women with a well fitting diaphragm or cap, using spermicide and with the discipline to wear it correctly and consistently the % effectiveness can be in the mid 90s.