9YO and pediatrician

[veggiewolf]

I tried posting this in the Pre-Teens forum, but maybe I'll have more luck here!

So, my DS went to the pediatrician for his 9 year physical. According to my DP, he was very cooperative until it was time to have his genitals examined. My DS refused, point blank, to have the doctor examine them.

My DP was in the room at the time, and the doctor didn't press the point. I tried to explain, when they got home, the need to have all areas checked properly, and how the doctor is really the only person, aside form himself, who should be examining them. But, he was having none of it.

On the one hand, I am very proud of DS for sticking to his guns. On the other hand, he won't let me examine it (and I don't think I'd know what to look for anyway), nor will he let my DP (his stepdad) do it, and I am worried that, if something were wrong, DS wouldn't tell us.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

April

[daylily]

I have a 9 (almost 10) year old son. He hasn't seen a doctor in nearly 2 years, but if this scenario happened to us, I would support my son's wishes. You should be proud of your ds for standing up for himself! It's highly unlikely that a healthy 9 yo has anything wrong with his genitals. When he's an adult, he will have better acceptance of undergoing something slightly embarrassing/unpleasant for the sake of his health. IMO, giving him some autonomy now may make him less reluctant to see a doctor when he's an adult. Ds will be going for a 10 year check and if he refuses a genital check, that will be fine with me. I may even step in and refuse it before it's offered. I always HATED being checked "down there". I always felt humiliated and powerless.

If you are worried about something being wrong with your ds's genitals, ask him to tell you if any unusual symptoms crop up. It speaks well of your dr. that he didn't press the point.

[Mallory]

I agree that I could not understand why the dr would do that and hated it when I was little.
I think, like daylily, said that if he knows what things are unusual he can keep an eye on his own parts

[veggiewolf]

Thanks! I guess I'll listen to my instincts from now on.

daylily, I love our pediatrician - we're part of a group and all the docs are awesome, but this one has been ds' favorite since birth.

April