looking for answers ... update post #34 - Page 3

[confustication]

It's understandable that you are angry, and in shock, but what you have to remember is that it will not be like this forever. If your DSS gets the help he needs (and I *really* struggle with a diagnosis of 'depression' in a child that age, an attachment disorder is more likely by far) you will see a shift in behavior, you will learn not to allow his behavior to have the huge impact you have described on your family, and you will learn to parent this child.


Most mental health centers have a sliding scale or something like that to access services.

[yansmommy]

Praying that you can get some help for all of this. I'm a Pediatric Speech Path and a mom of an adopted little girl and to me all of that information is screaming "Attachment Disorder". I would encourage you to research it and also seek out the early intervention services. He will only qualify up until age 3, but they can also help get you some resources or transitional services if you need them.

Jenn

[beachcomber]

OP, you are in a very tough situation. You've inherited a huge set of problems with this relationship. You have your own child to look after, your own mental health to take care of. Now on top of that, you have to manage the special needs of 3 kids with neglect, abuse and attachment issues. It's an awful lot to take on.

I know that you will take it on, once the shock is over. I know you won't walk away. If you were going to do that, you'd have done it already. So, you have my admiration for being as strong as you are, even though you may not feel that way right now.

If you are religious, use your faith to give you strength. Read your Bible, go to church and talk to your minister. If you don't currently have a church, find one and start attending services. It can be a huge help both personally and in terms of finding a supportive community.

Look for other online resources for Attachment Disorder, including boards and forums specific to it. You can find community there, too.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Oh mama, many many to you.

You can take this on, you are an amazing mother. Go back and read the thread you started in toddlers if you want - you care so deeply for this child and it really came through in that thread. Maybe it will help you. Maybe not.

Also, if your baby is only 6mo, you might consider trying to take her to therapy appoinments with you. My son goes with me, and he's 19mo and it works just fine.

Have you tried getting yourself on state medical insurance? I'm on HIP medicaid in NYS and I have zero co-pay (I'm also a student with no income and a single mama - but you may be able to get low co-pay depending on your circumstances). It's worth it to seek out someone to talk to, especially since you've been given such a hard set of circumstances.

Keep in mind though, that when you started looking for answers you knew that this wasn't going to be easy. You knew that there was a problem - now you have an answer, or the beginning of one. This can be the stepping stone to things getting better. I say this gently, please don't take it as anything but gentle.

Much luck and love to you and your little ones. I'll be following your story and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.