is my view of money healthy/realistic?

[mystic~mama]

i've been questioning myself for awhile.......the side of me that does not worry about it and feels what I need is just there....

I have a modest income some from work and some child support

and,

I've also grown accustomed over the past 7 years to having a man be financially generous with me....

dp and i have seperated, not split up and i still am benefiting from that arrangement but I suppose the money I have now is what I have and it wont be replenished so readily.....

I do have a no worries attitude when it comes to money,,,,that does not mean I spend with no regard to how I am spending. I buy very good organic food and can spend 400 in a month on food. pay bills. and then there is some money spent on entertainment, thrift shop's and also on my fetish for organic handmade clothing. Which is not indulged very often....

so, can someone talk to me about my view of money and if it is too far up in the clouds because,,,i don't want to be in the reality of this messed up world, I prefer to be in positivity and not worry....

thanks for reading

[mystic~mama]

......and I also want to be balanced and not naive about it.

thx

[RollerCoasterMama]

Originally Posted by mystic~mama

i've been questioning myself for awhile.......the side of me that does not worry about it and feels what I need is just there....

I have a modest income some from work and some child support

and,

I've also grown accustomed over the past 7 years to having a man be financially generous with me....

dp and i have seperated, not split up and i still am benefiting from that arrangement but I suppose the money I have now is what I have and it wont be replenished so readily.....

I do have a no worries attitude when it comes to money,,,,that does not mean I spend with no regard to how I am spending. I buy very good organic food and can spend 400 in a month on food. pay bills. and then there is some money spent on entertainment, thrift shop's and also on my fetish for organic handmade clothing. Which is not indulged very often....

so, can someone talk to me about my view of money and if it is too far up in the clouds because,,,i don't want to be in the reality of this messed up world, I prefer to be in positivity and not worry....

thanks for reading

What you should probably do then is to write out an actual budget. Budget for $400 in food and your bills, some savings (for car repairs, surprise bills, etc), and if there's enough left over, then entertainment, thrifting, and the once in a while clothing splurge. If you have it all accounted for, then there isn't anything to worry about! If not...then you probably need to tweak a bit.

I feel like money is just money. But at the same time...I'm not a big fan of bill collectors, and I want to be able to provide a nice life for myself and my son - not just now, but into the future. And I've learned the hard way that budgeting is a necessity. I probably take a little too much pleasure in budgeting...but after learning my lessons the hard way, there's a joy in paying bills and still knowing that I can buy groceries. And even saving up for big things! I'm paying for my summer school tuition out of pocket, and a week in a cabin with DS, and my divorce expenses. Those wouldn't have been possible without budgeting and planning ahead. Mvelopes.com is my favorite thing ever for this.

[Dmitrizmom]

um... just my opinion... I'd figure out how to live within what I have and not count on his generosity. It stinks, but better to plan for things than to have unexpected expenses come up and burn you back to reality (in my experience, it really sucks - and I'm still trying to get things back in order. )

[noobmom]

Personally, I don't like to rely on anyone else financially. I do trust my husband, however, so at the moment I'm okay with staying at home while he works. But I also know that if we were to ever get a divorce, etc. that he would be required to pay child support/alimony--and more importantly, that he would (because he's just that kind of person).

As an aside I do have a chunk of money saved up and I have a lot of family that I know could and would help me out if I ever need it.

I think having a "no worries" attitude about money is asking for trouble. Making a budget is a good way to take an honest look at your finances. It's better to get it figured out before you're in debt than after you've already run out of money.

[Ruthiegirl]

Money is one of those two faced things in life -- when there is enough, all is is good. There is quality food and quality clothing and our needs and wants are met.

And when it isn't? When money is tight and you have to choose between heat and food? Well, then the picture is brutal.

I have lived both sides of money. I have been cold and hungry. I have been fat and warm. I tell ya...fat and warm beats cold and hungry any day.

If it was me? If my dh and I were looking to separate? I would be saving every penny I could ...in my mattress where the courts couldn't find it.

And when I factor kids into the situation? Well, then I would be driven even harder to sock away as much cash as possible. I have known hunger and I never, ever want to see the face of hunger reflected to me by my kids.

[confustication]

Write down all your fixed expenses- housing, utilities, car payments, student loand etc... write down a grocery budget, write down some money to save each month, add in money for incidentals, and write that down as well. Budget for the most expensive month in your climate in terms of utilities.

Once you know all of your expenses, take a look at your income- how close are you cutting it? Remember that while it's often neat and clean on paper, it does not always work out that way in real life.

[sdia]

Your attitude sounds normal, but a little immature. A a budget that balances income and expenses would be important to prepare. Make sure to include a for-fun allowance that is reasonable. Finally, don't forget about "security and future needs" planning: health insurance? homeowners or renters insurance? retirement? education expenses for your kid? savings?

[lakeruby]

I think as long as you're not in debt, you're good!
I agree about the suggestion to do a budget. I'm only just getting around to this myself, but it has helped me to see where my money is going...Even if you only keep track of your spending for a couple of months, it might help you get a better idea of your finances.

I would definitely create a budget based on what you are guaranteed to earn each month, and then if you get extra money, put it in savings or purchase something you've been wanting/needing.

[EFmom]

I know that for me, it wouldn't be healthy. I would never rely on the generosity of a man for anything. I am married and dp and I earn roughly equivalent amounts of money and pool our incomes.

However, I also know that if for whatever reason his income vanished, I could support my kids and myself. Not in the lifestyle to which we are accustomed, but we'd manage. I wouldn't sleep nights otherwise.

I agree that looking at a budget might be a useful exercise for you.