5yo still having accidents at school

[SoulCakes]

My daughter's going into Year 1 here in the UK (kindergarten age in the US) next year and I'm getting a little worried. She learned to use the potty at 2.5 years and we've rarely had any accidents at home since then, but she frequently has accidents at school. I think this is primarily due to her getting caught up in what she's doing and not feeling the pee-signals until it's too late (especially once you factor in having to tell the teacher, put on slippers, and walk down the hall to the bathroom). Here, at home, she doesn't have to wait to go the toilet, so she just goes no problem.

Her teachers at her current school have been pretty understanding about the accidents and it hasn't been a big deal (minus some exasperated, "Would you please talk to her about going before it's too late?"). But her new school that she'll be starting next year... I'm worried it's not really going to fly, so to speak. And also, she's five years old... is this still normal?

What do I do? Are there ways to help her? Should I have her new teachers remind her to go every couple of hours? What if they forget? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

[treeoflife3]

I had the same problem even as I got older (6-7 years old and very rarely after)
Honestly, I still have the same problem sometimes but I'm an adult so I don't have to wait for permission/help to go.

I've found my main problem is that sometimes there really are no bathroom signals. I'll go from fine to I REALLY NEED TO GO NOW! in all of a few seconds. Its not as bad as it was when I was younger but it certainly added to the issue when I was younger and easily distracted and had a weak bladder anyway (I had nighttime help til I was 12)

I don't really have any good advice as half the time I'd hide the accident (don't ask me how I did that... but I did. I'm sure it smelled, but no one said anything once it was dried. Horrible, I know, but I WAS 6ish) but I'm sure just talking to her teachers about it is a good place to start. Also making sure she always has a change of clothes at school just in case. I just thought I'd let you know that normal or not, it isn't the first time a little girl has dealt with something like this

[eepster]

Is she embarrassed by asking the teacher to go? When I was little I would hold it for ages in hopes of avoiding having to ask to go. This can especially be a problem if the teachers give students the impression that not needing to go all the time is a sign of maturity.

[SoulCakes]

Treeoflife, thanks for your story! I wonder if she does have a tricky bladder, but she never has nighttime accidents, only accidents at school. Her behavior is exactly as you describe: not needing to go, not needing to go, AAH I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW! I think I'll just have a talk with the teacher and make sure she's directed to the toilet regularly (after snack, lunch, recess, etc.).

Eepster, I'm really not sure if she's embarrassed to ask the teacher. I do know that it's a bit of a process to go to the toilet at her current school, whereas, at the preschool she attended before, the toilet was just off the main room and we had far fewer issues. I think she may just not want to interrupt what she's doing to go through the hassle of heading to the toilet--that coupled with a not-very-strong ability to detect when she needs to go.

Is this something I should speak to her doctor about? Or is she not old enough for that to be a problem yet?

[Wild Lupine]

I think missing accidents at school are potentially very common, and I think it is the teacher's job to help kids through it. I'm a teacher myself, figuring out how to work physical needs into the day is part of classroom management, even in the upper grades.

When I was your DD's age our school had regularly scheduled bathroom breaks. The entire class would line up, walk down the hall together, and take our turns. This went on until ages 8 or 9.

If your daughter's school doesn't schedule toilet visits for the kids, can you give DD a timer and tell her to go every two hours whether she thinks she needs to or not?

[AllyRae]

My DS did the same thing...when he was 5, he'd have daily accidents at home and school. We took him to the doctor, and nothing was wrong. Finally, we realized that he was really stressed out because he was too embarrassed to ask the teacher to use the restroom. Once we figured that out, the teacher told him that he didn't have to ask, he could just go (it was a Montessori Children's House, and the restrooms are right outside the open classroom door.) He didn't have a single accident after he turned 6 at school (he occassionally has them at home...maybe once a month if he's distracted).

[mommajb]

I would talk to the teacher for suggestions and leave extra clothes at school. Our K classrooms have bathrooms in them so the child doesn't have to leave the room. they also have scheduled breaks in the day. Perhaps she will need a couple of extra?

[SoulCakes]

Originally Posted by onemomentatatime

When I was your DD's age our school had regularly scheduled bathroom breaks. The entire class would line up, walk down the hall together, and take our turns.

This! What happened to this?! I don't know why they don't do that at DD's current school. Silly, if you ask me.

Originally Posted by mommajb

they also have scheduled breaks in the day. Perhaps she will need a couple of extra?

I actually don't think she needs extra, just... any at all? I just need to make sure they know to take actual restroom breaks (and to make sure she actually goes), not just depend on the kids to tell them.

Well, I guess I'll just talk to the teacher then. Thanks for everyone's help!

[lolar2]

My cousin's daughter had a watch with an alarm to remind her to go, when she was a young child.