3 year olds- is this normal? What about your kid?

[Crazybean]

My DH and I have no other 3 year old to "compare" our son to... DH was talking to our neighbor who's son has autism and she happened to say that her son acted just like ours with SOME things... so now my DH thinks he may have a type of autism. I 100% disagree- I think he is a "typical" 3 year old boy exploring his limits. Here are some things he does:

* He throws tantrums and threatens to go to "bed time" when he doesn't get his way
* He lines up his cars in a row and gets upset if you take any of his cars
* He empties out baskets/boxes in his room after being told not to
* He climbs up in his closet to throw all of his clothes to the floor
* He likes to stand in the window
* If he watches tv, the roof could cave in and he won't notice
* He broke his wooden basket to take all the little twigs it was made of to form a pile of twigs in the corner


Those are the things that stand out on a daily basis and I think that is "normal" bad behavior for a young child- his dad does have ADHD and thinks he has some sort of disorder.

That being said, he does talk very well, he has met and exceeded all "milestones" throughout his life, he follows directions when we are instructing him to do something, he is doing okay with potty training, he is mostly well behaved, he colors pretty well in the lines, he plays well with kids- including tag and hide and seek, he smiles and says hi to people and responds to questions.

What kind of "bad" things does your 3 year old do? What do you think?

[liliaceae]

Totally normal.

[artgoddess]

Sounds normal to me. He's 3 he doesn't look at his world through the same lens as an adult. So things that seem destructive to you are just him exploring. And by the way I used to phrase "his world" purposely. he's three and he has little concept of how his actions effect others.

[lilmom]

My DS does all of these things. He'll be 3 in 2 wks. Well, he doesn't threaten to go to "bed time", LOL..I think that's funny..but he does throw tantrums occasionally if not getting his way.

I think all of these things are very, very normal 3 yr old testing the limits behavior. He is exploring and learning his world. He is not going to do things the way adults do, and that's okay.

Tell hubby not to worry.

[eepster]

It all sounds normal.

[mamazee]

That all sounds very normal to me, too.

[neetling]

sounds normal to me. Well as "normal" as any 3 year old I've ever had. And I'm on my 3rd right now.

[4evermom]

My son has a ton of similarities with a friend who has autism. But I've never thought my ds was on the spectrum. I think the reverse happens somewhat, that our friend's mother attributes typical behavior to her ds's autism. They always seem to be going through the same stages...

The thing is, kids with autism are kids first.

[Paeta16]

Ha! Sounds totally normal to me!

My DD is very obsessive about lining things up and if you try to move them around then she gets quite upset about it. She has to line up all of her million and one stuffed animals in her bed b/f she can go to sleep - each night they have a different order but all hell breaks loose if she can't find one of them...and I am not kidding, I think she has about 20 in there that she knows by heart and will constantly try to add more

All of the things you mentioned sound like they could happen in our house at any moment.

[cappuccinosmom]

Sounds normal to me.

Some of these things are not things that would be allowed on an ongoing basis (deliberate mess-making, destroying things) but the urge to do them, and the lack of impulse control that results in doing them even after being told not to is totally normal. Discipline and teaching is a process.

Things my 3 yo has done in the last couple of months:
-removed most of the keys on his aunt's laptop. I am fairly convinced he thought it was an alphabet puzzle, which he loved, and was trying to put the letters in the right order.

-tantrumed. Over all sorts of things.

-repeatedly tackled his brothers after being told not to.

-sneakily found his brother's Lego creations and took them apart piece by piece

-made fists and growled at me when he got angry.

[jocelyndale]

Sounds like my three year old. I consider it totally normal. Frustrating as heck, but normal. And you've talked me out of organizing his stuff into baskets. Best I just leave it scattered on the floor and pretend there's no method to relieve my insanity.

[EdnaMarie]

"Normal" here is subjective. I suppose it's normal for three-year-olds, but I consider most of the three-year-olds I know to be crazy. I mean seriously.

The tantruming, zoning out, etc. are all normal.

"Bad" things- things that would be totally unacceptable, or at the very least strange, in an adult, but that we don't worry about (though we do let her know it's not okay) in the three-year-old:

-Refusing to eat with a fork.
-Tantruming.
-Blowing raspberries at us when she disagrees.
-Picking scabs obsessively.
-Standing at the window.
-Dismantling stuff.
-Playing with water at every opportunity.
-Pulling off her band-aids and pretending they're gum.
-Telling me to argue with her.

Etc. Basically, about 1/3 or more of her behaviors would be symptoms of mental illness if they were in an adult. For her age, they are normal. Still irritating at time, though!