Anybody still here? Not sure how this works... there's just one thread in the group?
Anyways, I'm pregnant, 11 weeks, have a 2.5 year old, vegan (except when I'm bingeing), raw (ditto) mommy, struggling with bingeing.
Last time I was pregnant, my eating disorder really got a lot better, and I was able to eat a reasonable amount of food without bingeing and able to let go of the all or nothing attitude. I still did binge probably one, sometimes two days a week, but overall, I remember it as a better time in my life, where I felt good about my body and the clothes I could wear.
This pregnancy has been so different. Unlike last time, I've had non-stop queasiness / nausea (no vomiting), and paradoxically, it's been causing me to eat more and more triggering foods. I just want to eat mashed potatoes or pasta or bread, and I tried giving myself permission to do that and not feeling bad about it, but it ends up derailing me and taking me into a binge. I had lost some excess weight this year with a lot of hard work, bingeing less and working out, and now it's almost all back on and I feel so uncomfortable in my body and in my clothes. I'm wearing maternity clothes just so that I can fit something comfortably. I don't want to post how much weight I lost / gained back, because I don't know if that's triggering, but it's more than you should gain first trimester.
Right before I found out I was pregnant, I started seeing someone for energy healing to help with all of this. I should back up to say that eating has been an issue for me from when I was 11 or 12 (dieting / restricting), through mid-teens (starting more bingeing), pretty much all the time until now (just turned 32), so it's been about twenty years. I tried behavioral, analysis, meds, different therapists, and I learned things, but the problem always stayed the same. I sometimes did get some relief from meds, but I feel like I was kind of just checked out. One thing that helped me was getting on a raw vegan diet, at least as my baseline to always come back to after a binge, which I did when my son was about one. It helped me find a way to eat that I was okay with and could eat sufficient calories so I wasn't setting myself up for a binge. Since then I've stopped the hardcore restriction that I used to try to live up to on "good" days. But I still fall off and I still struggle. The first two sessions with the energy healing work were amazing and I felt so free, but then I got derailed from the nausea / cravings for heavy, dense foods, and since then, it hasn't helped. I don't know whether it's because I can't relax feeling so uncomfortable in my body, or whether it's because my body has been, at each session, full of food and coming off a binge. Hard to be open to healing. I'm trying hard to eat a very clean diet that will help my body feel good for a couple days before my next session in the hopes that I can get that feeling of freedom back. Otherwise, I'll have to re-evaluate. I'd hate to write that initial response i had as just that first time placebo that I sometimes get when I try a new approach, it seemed different. Anybody else tried energy healing type work? I never thought I would do anything like this, but I have done everything else and I refuse to just give up.