Originally Posted by A&A
Yeah, I know. I just wanted opinions anyway.
I think dh was seriously screwed up by his parents' divorce, but I also know that his mother bad-mouthed his father a lot (and still does to this day.)
Yeah. This is indicative of some real problems, imo. That kind of thing leaves kids feeling guilty for still caring about the "other" (non-custodial) parent, makes them feel pulled between both parents, etc. It's really unfair to pull on a child's loyalty like that.
I let one or two comments about my ex slip out, despite my good intentions, but I generally gave ds1 as honest, yet age-appropriate, an explanation of what was going on as I could manage. (In the first couple of years after our breakup, my ex first bounced between 3-4 addresses in about six months, then mostly dropped off the map, then ended up in jail.) Explaining what was going on, without badmouthing his dad, was hard...but he deserved to know, and he did not
deserve to feel that the father he loved - and was/is quite a bit like, in some ways - was someone I held in contempt, yk?
I think this kind of thing is a huge
factor in how a divorce impacts kids.