I am not saying divorce isn't hard on kids but what I think is harder on them is all the crap the builds up to a divorce. It would have been great for my kids if my husband and I could have kissed and made up and went on living happily ever after. but it was not healthy for them to see up like we were. granted, divorce is not easy on any of us. neither was the affair, the emotional abuse, me going crazy, the physical violence, the constant fighting, them not ever knowing if daddy was coming home or walking out for good, me being constantly stressed and mentally deranged. ALL of that hurt them terribly and it greives me. But I don't believe us staying together would have done them any favors. I am such a better mother now that I don't constantly freak out about their dad. Their dad actually sees them every now and then because he doesn't have to see me. They know he left us for his new girlfriend but divorced or married he would still be with her. and they would definitely know about her by now either way. Nothing healthy or advantageous about it. yes divorce sucks. and if you can avoid it by all means do everything you can to make your marriage work. But divorce is not necessarily worse than staying together in a really insane environment. Either way your kids get screwed. and that sucks. You just have to figure out how to do the least amount of damage sometimes.
post #101 of 160
7/13/10 at 11:12pm