situation im not sure i can handle

[sosurreal09]

i was just diagnosed with PPD and started zoloft literally about a week ago.
x-DP moved back in to help with DD *temporarily* b/c im just losing it. shes 9 m/o and im unemployed but TG still on unemployment which will run out in 2 months...
so x SIL was living with xMIL and she went a little crazy (shes always been off and chooses men over her family ALWAYS) and her new bf hates her DD so she kicks her DD out...she was off drugs doing well and going to college and had a job. this is 60 miles from my house BTW.
there is no family besides her twin bro(xDP) and me...sooooooo of course shes at my house now b/c what was i suppose to do let her sleep on the street? idk what to do. she tried to make immense with her mom and shes not having it...if she had to live here i could clean out DD's room (which is just toys and a changing table) but there is NO way i could support her until she got a job...she doesnt even have a car and her license was suspended and she has to pay like thousands of dollars to get it back and i am not driving her around...besides shes not the most responsible person and usually blows her money and i certainly could not deal with arguing with her every month or week to get her "rent". also i told her to ask a friend if she could rent out a room and offer like $300 a month and she was like $300 for a room! thats alot of money i cant pay that! so im like what does she expect to live here for $100 bucks? the last roomate i had paid $600 b/c a roomate is suppose to split the bills with you...it also included food.

i know if she lives here i will end up being screwed. even just having her here right now is a strain b/c i only get $1408 a month and do not have any help from the gov with anything so i am on a strict budget. the food she eats alone is too expensive for me KWIM? a extra mouth to feed when i only spend $200 a month on food for DD and myself.

mentally i know i cant handle it. financially i can not handle it. but what am i suppose to do? kick her out on the street? i was homeless for a while when i was younger and i know how bad it is to have nowhere to go and have to sleep on the street. i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. so idk what to do. i need advice please

[Amanda L]

How long is your exdp staying? Or even if he is staying, why would you need to support his sister? (Did I get their relationship right?)

If I was in your situation, I would make a deadline and then have both of them move out. Sounds harsh, but you won't be able to work on your own issues with them there, and you have to provide the best environment for your daughter . . . and a stressed out mommy isn't what she needs.

I hope everything works out for you!

[SoulCakes]

You should decide what you can live with and go from there. Does she need to be out, full-stop? Tell her she has x amount of time to pick herself up and move out (a week, a month, whatever you can deal with). But she can stay ONLY if she buys her own food, and she's on her own for transportation.

If you'd be willing to let her live with you if she paid up (and you don't seem like you're willing to do this, I'm just throwing it out there), then negotiate a strict agreement. She pays x for rent, x for bills. She buys her own food, period. If she's not up for that, she'll find a cheaper place to live pretty quick.

Remember, it's kind to let someone crash on your couch. It's not kind to enable them. Make yourself really super clear about how long she can stay, PERIOD, and it'll be fine. You'll get through it.

[sosurreal09]

TY ladies

sounds like a plan soul

[Magelet]

I think also, as it is your x-DP's sister, he needs to deal with a lot of this, not you. Yes, it's your place and she's here, but tell him that if she needs help with finding work, etc, he needs to do the helping. you need to take care of you and get your stuff worked out right now you can't take care of her.

[bluebirdiemama]

I wouldn't try to do much regulation if I were you. Your xSIL and xDP's actions are their resposibility. You are responsible for your dd and yourself before anything else, and it doesn't sound like you can handle anything else right now! So I would tell her, "you have 1 week to stay here rent free. After that, if you don't have a job, I'm sorry. You're going to have to find somewhere else to stay."