Help! Pregnant SIL plans on NOT holding newborn! Fears PPD!

[MamaAllNatural]

My sister in law, who is due in July (very unplanned pregnancy) is planning on having severe post partum depression. Because of this, her plan is to have the baby imediately placed in the isolate after birth and sent to the nursery. She does not plan on holding the baby for....who knows how long? Now, her fears are somewhat understandable because supposedly her mother and her sister got severe PPD immediately following the birth of their children, sobbing within moments of the baby coming out. Also, she has already been on medication for years for depression.

What I am looking for are some good articles to send her on PPD with an emphasis on how SEPARATING from your baby only compounds it. She is a very mainstream mama, not really natural at all so I think she'd need a more mainstream kind of article to be able to relate to it. Also maybe a list of meds that are safe while breastfeeding. Her doctor sounds pretty clueless! TIA!

[~Megan~]

I think that would make it much, much worse.
Breastfeeding can counteract the depression so perhaps immediate breastfeeding would be the best choice for her.

She should talk to someone who specializes in ppd

[MysticHealerMom]

well, that's not how you get ppd.

the causes and risk factors for ppd are pretty well documented, but just not available in the mainstream - or talked about freely. and unfortunately, i don't have a link or list for you. i just know that when i was in the psych ward they gave me all sorts of papers and documents to that effect.

i suggest that you friend contact Baby Blues Connection right away. They also deal with ante-partum depression (while you're pregnant). she can talk to women who've been there, who are very well versed in the risk factors, causes and treatments and who can provide support and a shoulder to cry on or a non-judgemental friendly voice - or ear - to be there.

Best wishes,

Lori

[MamaAllNatural]

Mystic, I'm not sure whose post you're referring to. You said "that's not how you get PPD."

[MysticHealerMom]

sorry, in the subject and the OP it says she's planning on not holding the new born. i ment that you don't get ppd from holding your baby. you get ppd from having a baby if you're at risk for developing it. it's not a crap shoot, there are known risk factors, holidng a new born isn't one of them. hope that clarifies what i ment in my post. i intended to provide helpful support.

best wishes and blessings to you and your sil.

Lori

[BoxOfRainMama]

Was looking unable to get the baby blues connection link to work so I did a web search the correct address is www.babybluesconnection.org
Thanks for the info on that place though. It’s nice to know of resources that are out there, its a very lonely illness.


"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" ~Rod McKuen

Pamela Roth

[MysticHealerMom]

d'oh! you're right, thanks for the correction...

[MamaAllNatural]

Mystic,

Thanks for the clarification. My SIL plans on staying separated from her baby in order to just focus on dealing with the PPD. It's my understanding (and experience personal and otherwise) that many factors such as being separated from the infant and how you felt about the birth (i.e. how you were treated, traumatized etc.) can also contribute to PPD. I just feel sad for her that her idea of going into motherhood is that she has to completely dissconnect from the baby.

Unfortunately she does appear to be at high risk for getting it, I'm just trying to help give her info to get educated PPD and to hopefully not exaserbate the problem any further. Thanks for the link. I'll look for some good articles on it to send her.

[Foobar]

You might want to encourage her to see a specialist now. I found holding my Goo right after birth was wonderful...yet I had to send her to the nursery the first night because I couldn't handle it anymore. In that sense, I can see why she would think that she need to not hold her child.

However, if she can work with someone NOW about understanding her feelings and having the nursery as a BACKUP then she might do better with "ok- let's hold my child, but if I feel like I am overwelmed, I will call for help right away" and to be ok with that....

I can't offer any links, but I can give you my experience....

[girlndocs]

I read, and it makes total sense to me, that the human female body hormonally, chemically "expects" to touch and hold the newborn immediately ... I mean, when cavewomen gave birth they must have scooped their babies up right away. That "expectation" is hardwired. And as far as the body's concerned, the only reason for there NOT being a baby to touch and smell, to set off all the mothering hormones, is if the baby's been born dead. So the theory is that being separated from your newborn even for a minute after it's born, without getting contact with it first, throws your body into the beginnings of "mourning" on a chemical and hormonal level. It totally screws with the juices in your brain and all your mommy instincts. I wish I had an article or something explaining it in a more scientific way but maybe looking at it that way would help your SIL. She must be really afraid.

Kris