Baby Hates Being Worn (Unless Asleep)

[treefrognyc]

My baby boy (now 2.5 months old) hates being carried in a sling, wrap, or carrier unless he's asleep. I've tried since he was a newborn and used the Moby, Balboa, and Ergo. He will not be carried in anything unless he's sleeping already when I put him in it. When he wakes, he cries immediately. I know I'm using them correctly, so that's not the issue.

He loves to be held, but only on my shoulder, or facing out when my husband holds him. I'd love to find an easy wrap that I can do myself while he's resting over my shoulder.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any suggestions? Thanks!

[clovergirl]

You could try using your Moby for a shoulder/burp hold. Here are some picture instructions-
http://www.babywearing.gr/Babywearin...rpposition.htm
The written text is in Greek but the pictures are pretty thorough. It's being done with a woven wrap in the pictures, but again, you can try with your Moby. Just make sure you tie it very snug.
He's also not too young to try your hand at a high back carry, which will put him in pretty much the same position as the burp hold (peeking over your shoulder) just on your back. Many fuss babies love this hold. You will need a woven wrp to do it though, as the stretchy wraps are generally not recommended for back carries (too much bounce/give to be safe).
I hope you find something that works soon, mama.

[AislinCarys]

You are not alone!

I felt really alone. And I wore my back out carrying my little one in my arms for 8 months.

Like your LO, DD only wanted to be upright, and either on our shoulders or facing forward in our laps. But she didn't like to be held too close, which I think was the main problem with slings and carriers.

I wish I tried a stretchy wrap, maybe that could work. As it was, with a woven wrap she was probably 4 months old by the time we had her in there any longer than a couple of minutes of howling, and then usually forwards-facing, as she preferred that (it was the way she was in our laps most of time, too).

Have you tried a soft structured carrier, like Ergo or Manduca? When DD was 8 months old a friend let me borrow her Ergo, and, surprisingly, DD actually liked it!

Now we usually use a Mei Tai, not sure if that would have worked when she was little, it does constrict her body, but of course leaves her limbs free, which she likes.

She doesn't like back carries at all, luckily I prefer front carries too!

[Geigerin]

Our 4 month old hates it, too. The only position she tolerates is facing out or over the shoulder. We can face her out in the ring sling, and she'll be content for a long while. However, it kills my back. Now that she's 4 months and has good head control, I'm going to try her on my back in the ergo, and on my hip in the sling.

Also, a mei tei or chunei are great for babes that don't want to be too snug. Hope that helps.

[treefrognyc]

Thanks for all your thoughts! I have tried the Ergo, without the infant insert (too hot). I just wrap him in a blanket and keep support for his head. But he still hates being in it when he's awake!

Since I have the Moby already, I'll try the burp hold. The thing about the Moby is that I'm small, so there's so much slack that it gets bulky. I watched with awe someone on YouTube do the back carry wrap, but I laughed at the idea of my holding my kid with one arm over my shoulder. I'm strong, but he's a little chubber. And soooo whiny about anything being "off." (It's kind of cute, actually. I know he doesn't mean it.)

Is the Moby considered "stretchy"? Is the Mei Tai much different?

[jenrett]

I came here to post the EXACT same problem.....except my ds is 6.5 weeks old. I thought that in my case it has to do with the fact that DS is always eating.....i mean always. If he is awake, he is hungry 90% of the time. Some slings I can put him into and have him nurse which quiets him....but some wraps he won't even let me get him into, he is making such a fuss...

Anyway, just lurking to see if there are any other suggestions.

[AislinCarys]

I think the Moby is stretchy (as opposed to for example Storchenwiege, which is woven).

A Mei Tai is an Asian baby carrier, in some ways similar to the Ergo, but with no buckles. Instead the shoulder straps (which can be narrow and even padded similar to the Ergo straps, or wide, like a wrap) are two long bands (about 2 metre long each), and can be crossed on your front or back, or tied like a backpack.

I made my own mei tai, with wide straps and a hood. I like that the material is a lot thinner than the Ergo, so we don't get so hot and sticky. And the wide straps mean it is almost as good for the back as a wrap.

There are plenty of mei tais for sale out there, if you can't/don't have the time/don't want to make your own.

[tea4tamara]

If you haven't already, I'd try finding some experienced babywearers to see if the can give you some hands on help.

I have a babywearing store and lately I've had a lot of people come in with babies that hate to be worn. When I put them in a carrier on myself, they consistently settle down and happily look around. Then I'm able to give the parents some tips (and some hope). See if there is someone who can give you a hand, and maybe you'll find a new way of using your carriers that you and your baby both love.

[finn'smama]

I think that's pretty normal really. At that age, if ds was alert/awake he wanted to be looking around or staring at my face, not wrapped up and that was only for brief periods. Otherwise he was eating. The thing that saved me was getting a woven wrap and learning to do a nice high rucksack carry so he could see over my shoulder (he also only likes to be held upright or facing out). Once I could do that, he was happy as a clam and would actually stay awake for awhile in the wrap!
You can also use a shorter wrap for a ruck, so less fabric to deal with and less hot. It is well worth learning, imo, this is my third baby and I so wish I'd not been so intimidated by wrapping with the others.
And I second getting someone give you some hands on help if you can.
GL!

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by treefrognyc

Since I have the Moby already, I'll try the burp hold. The thing about the Moby is that I'm small, so there's so much slack that it gets bulky.
<snip>
Is the Moby considered "stretchy"? Is the Mei Tai much different?

I chopped my Moby! I'm pretty average size - 5'4", but I found it too long as well. In the classic front-wrap-cross-carry, the 'tails' would be barely touching the floor! I didn't like wrapping them in front again, as that was just too much bulk, so I just sliced them. The fabric doesn't fray, so no need to worry about sewing the ends shut.

yes, Moby is stretchy. Mei Tais are quite different from wraps.
& I 'third' the idea to look for experienced babywearers - if there's no babywearing group (like a yahoo group) in your area, try LLL or other "AP" / Natural parenting groups.