Summary- we broke up early in my pregnancy, he told me he was not responsible for me, did not buy anything for the baby, was very verbally abusive and horrid throughout my high risk pregnancy.
Water broke at 34 weeks, had no one to drive me so I called him, he was a jerk but took me and was there for the birth. Baby was in NICU two weeks he saw him twice. I left the hospital with my son alone. Name is on the birth cert. and son has his last name. I was trying to be nice...
Child has severe food allergies and was hospitalized twice each for a period of two weeks, ex stated he hated hospitals and visited minimally, going days without calling even when son was undergoing painful tests. Left the hospital each time with my son alone.
He did not pay anything or attempt to see him for several months, stating he was too depressed to work and therefore did not have gas money. I called him and ASKED him to see his son, even offering to bring the baby but he declined more than once. If he did see him it was because I drove him there and back after initiating contact.
I had been crashing at a friend's house because ex kicked me out when I was pregnant. Friend was moving so I had to find a place and moved across the river to another state. I am receiving gov't assistance for now but have steady work lined up in Sep. Ex attempted to see son but was taking him to his mother's house who is a very bad hoarder/ alcoholic type personality. He sent son home with a bleeding rash, and only 1 diaper out of ten was used from the diaper bag. I always have supplied everything since he sees him so rarely. He did begin to give me sporadic support and I thought all was well.
I took son to visit him at his house. It was disgustingly filthy, beer cans, trash, ants. I laid the baby on the floor on his blanket and discovered a large piece of a marijuana plant on the floor. Ex throws massive parties there every weekend, I am seriously worried there might be a pill on the floor or some other type of drug.
He has not seen son since father's day (I took the baby to see him) and he called Fri to ask about seeing him Sun. I asked him what measures he had taken to insure the safety of the baby and ex became very verbally abusive calling me names and...just bad. I told him to have a nice day and hung up and have not heard from him since.
What do I do now?
He owns his own company and makes good money, fibs to the IRS about his taxes and shows very little on his tax papers. He went against my will and claimed the baby even though he rarely sees him, what can I do to keep him from doing that once I do have an earned income? He has the money to go to court and I don't
Do I automatically have custody? (I am in Illinois, he is in MO.)
Should I email him and tell him that that is how I wish to communicate from now on? I am tired of his verbal and emotional abuse, it literally makes me sick.
If I do email him, what are the important points I should make in the email in order to protect myself? He tells his family that I won't allow him to see the baby in order to save face, and that just is so far from the truth it is ridiculous.
I am considering a restraining order??
Please help me BTDT mamas, I am so stressed over all of this. I have always tried to involve him and do the right thing for our son.
But I am in self preservation mode now and I need advice.
THANK YOU
(there is so much more to this story, believe me I summed it up as best I could)
Water broke at 34 weeks, had no one to drive me so I called him, he was a jerk but took me and was there for the birth. Baby was in NICU two weeks he saw him twice. I left the hospital with my son alone. Name is on the birth cert. and son has his last name. I was trying to be nice...
Child has severe food allergies and was hospitalized twice each for a period of two weeks, ex stated he hated hospitals and visited minimally, going days without calling even when son was undergoing painful tests. Left the hospital each time with my son alone.
He did not pay anything or attempt to see him for several months, stating he was too depressed to work and therefore did not have gas money. I called him and ASKED him to see his son, even offering to bring the baby but he declined more than once. If he did see him it was because I drove him there and back after initiating contact.
I had been crashing at a friend's house because ex kicked me out when I was pregnant. Friend was moving so I had to find a place and moved across the river to another state. I am receiving gov't assistance for now but have steady work lined up in Sep. Ex attempted to see son but was taking him to his mother's house who is a very bad hoarder/ alcoholic type personality. He sent son home with a bleeding rash, and only 1 diaper out of ten was used from the diaper bag. I always have supplied everything since he sees him so rarely. He did begin to give me sporadic support and I thought all was well.
I took son to visit him at his house. It was disgustingly filthy, beer cans, trash, ants. I laid the baby on the floor on his blanket and discovered a large piece of a marijuana plant on the floor. Ex throws massive parties there every weekend, I am seriously worried there might be a pill on the floor or some other type of drug.
He has not seen son since father's day (I took the baby to see him) and he called Fri to ask about seeing him Sun. I asked him what measures he had taken to insure the safety of the baby and ex became very verbally abusive calling me names and...just bad. I told him to have a nice day and hung up and have not heard from him since.
What do I do now?
He owns his own company and makes good money, fibs to the IRS about his taxes and shows very little on his tax papers. He went against my will and claimed the baby even though he rarely sees him, what can I do to keep him from doing that once I do have an earned income? He has the money to go to court and I don't
Do I automatically have custody? (I am in Illinois, he is in MO.)
Should I email him and tell him that that is how I wish to communicate from now on? I am tired of his verbal and emotional abuse, it literally makes me sick.
If I do email him, what are the important points I should make in the email in order to protect myself? He tells his family that I won't allow him to see the baby in order to save face, and that just is so far from the truth it is ridiculous.
I am considering a restraining order??
Please help me BTDT mamas, I am so stressed over all of this. I have always tried to involve him and do the right thing for our son.
But I am in self preservation mode now and I need advice.
THANK YOU
(there is so much more to this story, believe me I summed it up as best I could)
