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pot smoking teen - Page 3

post #41 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post
All I've gotta say is authoritarianism rarely begets obedience...but often creates obfuscation. As a high school teacher I have heard many, many stories from teens about what they successfully hide from their parents. I find it so very sad that a parent would feel entitled to random authority over a teen simply because "my house my rules". Its not just your house, but the house of all who live there. To see it otherwise is not really respecting your kids.

Open dialogue is always much more powerful than a line drawn in the sand. Showing your kids you respect them as responsible adults is even better.

And while we are on this topic, are we all obligated to follow laws we don't agree with (and had no part in creating) simply because they are laws? Should I not seek a homebirth in a state where it is illegal for example? Anti-marijuana laws were historically created for the benefit of corporations (cough*DuPont*cough) and because of racist fears of "co-mingling". Both silly reasons. So using the "its illegal" argument holds no water IMO.

California is on the path to legalizing recreational marijuana. If they do they are going to make bank, and all the other states are going to be jealous lol!
agreed. what happens if it is legalized in your state and your previous stance was "my house my rules" and you would be willing to boot your kid for it. Are you going to do a complete 180 if you kid wants to smoke and acknowledge that since it is legal they can do it in the house? It makes no sense to me I guess the hardline attitude.
post #42 of 107
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post #43 of 107
Thread Starter 
Okay - I'm the original poster and I have one more question to throw out there. Does anyone have any experience, either first hand or second, of whether or not pot smoking stunts your emotional/intellectual growth? I mean, my son is not yet 18 and I know the neural pathways in his brain are still developing. I don't want any substance to get in the way of him realizing his potential.
post #44 of 107
It's just pot, not a drug I would worry about.
post #45 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirrormonkey View Post
It's just pot, not a drug I would worry about.
But some of us do. I tell my kids its not worth the fines or jail time.
post #46 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancynance View Post
Okay - I'm the original poster and I have one more question to throw out there. Does anyone have any experience, either first hand or second, of whether or not pot smoking stunts your emotional/intellectual growth? I mean, my son is not yet 18 and I know the neural pathways in his brain are still developing. I don't want any substance to get in the way of him realizing his potential.
I think it depends on the individual. I've known some to use pot as a crutch...or maybe a better way to explain it would be as an excuse for immature irresponsibility. But I also know lots of folks who smoke and are pillars of their communities. I know lots of high school teachers who are at the top of their game and smoke. So I'm not sure its pot as much as its the character of the individual. Much like any mind-altering experience (alcohol, shopping, video games).

Personally I am horribly allergic to marijuana (thanks alot mom!), so no personal evidence here.
post #47 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancynance View Post
Okay - I'm the original poster and I have one more question to throw out there. Does anyone have any experience, either first hand or second, of whether or not pot smoking stunts your emotional/intellectual growth? I mean, my son is not yet 18 and I know the neural pathways in his brain are still developing. I don't want any substance to get in the way of him realizing his potential.
Doesn't seem to have stunted my intellectual or emotional growth. I also know many intelligent and stable adult who have smoked pot since they were teens.
post #48 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancynance View Post
Okay - I'm the original poster and I have one more question to throw out there. Does anyone have any experience, either first hand or second, of whether or not pot smoking stunts your emotional/intellectual growth? I mean, my son is not yet 18 and I know the neural pathways in his brain are still developing. I don't want any substance to get in the way of him realizing his potential.
Well, here's a list of famous successful pot smokers for you after a quick google search that took me about 5 minutes:

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, Zachary Taylor, and Franklin Pierce.

George W Bush and Obama have admitted to pot use, but it's debate-worthy whether or not they are "successful"

Richard Feynman – Nobel Prize winner in physics
steven spielberg
Joe Rogan said he was stoned for every episode of Fear Factor
Dennis Hopper
Marc Emery
Brad Pitt
Megan Fox
Louis Armstrong
Bill Murray
Michael Phelps
Adrianne Curry
Ed Rosenthal
Sean Penn
Debby Goldsberry
Matthew McConaughey
Bob Marley
Montel Williams (medical marijuana user to treat his ms)
Bill Maher
Paul McCartney
Willie Nelson
Rodney Dangerfield
Michael Bloomberg
Ted Turner
Stephen King
Arnold Schwarzenegger


I can tell how much you love your child, but I honestly would not be worried about pot smoking at all ...especially since he is a current user, and it's obviously not preventing him from wanting to continue his education. I say a job well done mama on raising your ds, and now it's time for him to spread his own wings
post #49 of 107
I'm crashing this thread - not a parent of a teen, but I am a recovering teen (by that, I mean an adult LOL) but my folks were pretty laid back about pot. I couldn't do it in the house, couldn't HAVE it in the house, and if my grades slipped, I got grounded. Those rules were all laid out before I even tohught of trying it. I got stoned one night around 17, came home, "bragged" to my dad "i'm sooo high", really expecting a big reaction and he said "cool. If you get the munchies and make a sandwich, make me one too" and that was it. Totally took the wind out of my sails and I didn't do it again till I was in my 20s, and then just once more.

As for the PP who said not to spend parent's money on pot - I know that my folks never gave me enough money to buy pot - I had a job (at almost 18) and I used that money to buy all my contraband (taco bell and NIN CDs, mostly)
post #50 of 107
I have been a daily pot smoker since I was 15. I attended a top 10 university, I have degrees in history, political science and international development. I taught high school government for 17 years. I have two happy well adjusted children (14 and 4), the products of a successful and loving marriage. Some people don't do well with cannabis, I do just fine.
post #51 of 107
Hmmm I dont think they have really done a trust worthy study on it. But I could be wrong...

I know that you can stream a movie about the effects of pot like you are talking about on Netflix its called Super High Me. Its interesting, but I would hardly call it "scientific".

It is hard to go by just personal stories on the issue because it really just depends on who you talk to. I know a guy that smoked a lot during his teen years (and still does as far as I know) and people are proud of him when he makes a full sentence. On the other hand I know another guy that smoked just as much pot during his teen years (and still does as far as I know) that was valedictorian of his graduating class and is a professional rock climber. I think you will just have to watch him and go with your gut on this one.
post #52 of 107
I see a child on pot as one who is trying to self-medicate.

What is going on in his life that he's trying to numb?
post #53 of 107
post #54 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancynance View Post
Okay - I'm the original poster and I have one more question to throw out there. Does anyone have any experience, either first hand or second, of whether or not pot smoking stunts your emotional/intellectual growth? I mean, my son is not yet 18 and I know the neural pathways in his brain are still developing. I don't want any substance to get in the way of him realizing his potential.

It really depends. In my family of 5 (parents, my 2 brothers and myself) we have all been habitual pot smokers. My father, in the 90s was one of 2 or 3 people in the country who could repair some medical imaging equipment. My mother, was a teacher, I graduated 6th in my class in high school and now run an after school art studio, my oldest brother graduated from MIT, and my youngest brother dropped out of high school and is unemployed (though he's BRILLIANT he has no motivation).

Some people will let it interfere with their lives. Some people know how to self-impose limits.
post #55 of 107
Hi,

I'm fairly new to this site, I've spent years on other parenting sites but found my way back here looking for advise for my similar situation. It seems that most of the replies here reinforce my gut instincts, leaning towards the keeping communication lines open and not "punishing".

My DD is 13 and we're dealing with the same issues. She's otherwise the "perfect child", straight As, extremely artistically talented, socially comfortable, stunningly beautiful, doesn't bombard us with any of that hormonal, door-slamming bitchiness that most girls her age are experiencing...but she's smoking pot. When she first got caught by a friends mom, she called me crying, saying how sorry she was and wouldn't do it again...I think she expected punishment...but I told her how proud I was that she told me and that while I was really not happy with it and REALLY wished that she wouldn't, that it was up to her to make good decisions. I told her about the fact that her 13 year old brain is still developing and it was uncertain how the pot might effect brain development and all that. But she's still using it, and NOT lying to me about it (not flaunting or anything, just not lying when I ask her). I dunno, it's all SOO confusing.

The friend who she got caught with, her mom is taking the hard line...took away all her "toys" (computer, phone etc) banned her from seeing the friends involved, sent her away from the summer and her DD HATES her with a passion, calls her the most horrible names. I love my daughter so, I'd be totally crushed if she ever spoke about me like that
post #56 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
I see a child on pot as one who is trying to self-medicate.

What is going on in his life that he's trying to numb?
Or maybe he just wants a break from the stresses of life, as we all need sometimes... If he were walking around stoned 24/7, however, I might be inclined to agree with you.
post #57 of 107
I'm with the "let it be" posters. I also agree with the poster who compared punitive approaches to parenting toddlers to punitive approaches with teens. Both don't respect the developmental needs and human rights of the children involved.

I have to say that I REALLY disagree with a "my house my rules" approach to a teenager. Teenagers do not have much ability to support themselves independently successfully. I'm not saying it can't be done, but job opportunities are less, housing opportunities nearly impossible, etc. It is expected that kids will live with their parents at least until they're sixteen and preferably eighteen. That means that they are FORCED to live with you in essence. If you impose arbitrary rules jthen you are violating their independent human rights in my opinion. Teens can't make all the decisions in a house and of course there have to be some rules, but they should have a role in negotiating them and have some control over their lives. If our society is going to artificially extend childhood way past the point when kids could have a greater degree of independence than I think the adults involved have a responsibility to not abuse the authority that provides them.
post #58 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by bronxmom View Post
I'm with the "let it be" posters. I also agree with the poster who compared punitive approaches to parenting toddlers to punitive approaches with teens. Both don't respect the developmental needs and human rights of the children involved.

I have to say that I REALLY disagree with a "my house my rules" approach to a teenager. Teenagers do not have much ability to support themselves independently successfully. I'm not saying it can't be done, but job opportunities are less, housing opportunities nearly impossible, etc. It is expected that kids will live with their parents at least until they're sixteen and preferably eighteen. That means that they are FORCED to live with you in essence. If you impose arbitrary rules jthen you are violating their independent human rights in my opinion. Teens can't make all the decisions in a house and of course there have to be some rules, but they should have a role in negotiating them and have some control over their lives. If our society is going to artificially extend childhood way past the point when kids could have a greater degree of independence than I think the adults involved have a responsibility to not abuse the authority that provides them.
post #59 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by bronxmom View Post
I If our society is going to artificially extend childhood way past the point when kids could have a greater degree of independence than I think the adults involved have a responsibility to not abuse the authority that provides them.
Wise words.
post #60 of 107
For those that would/do allow/encourage marijuana usage in their homes, does this also extend to other drugs (i.e. cocaine/heroin)? If no...why not?

Luckily DS1 sees marijuana users as "losers" and "stoners" and so do most of his friends so it hasn't been an issue. DS1 and friends run track and cross country as well, so from their standpoint ingesting smoke into your lungs is just stupid, whether it's tobacco or marijuana. I'm sure someday he will try it and DH (a cop) understands this as well. He has sat down with DS1 (and recently with DD) and told them that it will not be allowed in our house and I completely support that. Besides the obvious legal/job ramifications it could have for DH, we aren't too keen on the example it would set for DS2.
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