pot smoking teen - Page 4

[To-Fu]

I'd like to be relaxed abot it but then I read Katie's story:

http://mamapundit.com/

[Dar]

Originally Posted by To-Fu

I'd like to be relaxed abot it but then I read Katie's story:

http://mamapundit.com/

Yeah... my answers were different before Henry got hurt and then died, for sure. I'm still not sure what the right answer is, and FWIW my reply to my kid's pot smoking was pretty low key (I was mostly concerned with whether she'd been in the car with anyone who was stoned, and she hadn't been) and she's a successful 17 year old without an sort of substance abuse issues... but my heart breaks for Katie and her whole family.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by mommyinIL1976

For those that would/do allow/encourage marijuana usage in their homes, does this also extend to other drugs (i.e. cocaine/heroin)? If no...why not?

1) I don't think any one here is saying they would encourage it. Just that they wouldn't have a problem with it.

And

2) Seriously? What's the difference between marijuana and cocaine/heroine? I have to ask just because so you can ignore the next sentence if you want but... Are you for real?

Ok, now here's a quick run down.

Heroine is a highly addictive, dangerous drug that one can easily OD on and/or get dragged deep into the underground drug scene, including but not limited too, dealing, prostitution, and violent criminal behaviour.

Cocaine is also a highly addictive, dangerous drug that can easily be OD'd on and/or drag someone deep into the underground drug scene, this includes but is not limited too, dealing, prostitution and violent criminal behaviour.

Marijuana on the other hand is low risk for addiction (I believe it was found that the average person would have to smoke multiple times a day, every day for six months at least to even be at risk of developing an addiction). There have been no (zero, zilch, none what so ever) recorded incidents of people od on THC.

[~Demeter~]

The thing about Katie's story.. is that's it's quite unusual and Henry didn't die from pot smoking. He died from a series of very catastrophic events and a lot harder substances than pot. My son looks an awful lot like Henry did and my heart ached for her when I came across her story. I spoke with my oldest and he actually read through Henry's story and felt a huge connection with him. I think open communication is far more important than reacting with an iron fist over something like smoking pot... I just don't see it as the end all, be all doorway to other drug use. Some people are more predisposed to use drugs to escape... or even for recreation. Some people drink in the same manner... but that's legal.

[To-Fu]

Originally Posted by ~Demeter~

The thing about Katie's story.. is that's it's quite unusual and Henry didn't die from pot smoking. He died from a series of very catastrophic events and a lot harder substances than pot. My son looks an awful lot like Henry did and my heart ached for her when I came across her story. I spoke with my oldest and he actually read through Henry's story and felt a huge connection with him. I think open communication is far more important than reacting with an iron fist over something like smoking pot... I just don't see it as the end all, be all doorway to other drug use. Some people are more predisposed to use drugs to escape... or even for recreation. Some people drink in the same manner... but that's legal.

Right, but it all starts somewhere, you know? She regrets how laid back she was when Henry first confessed to using pot, which was why I shared the link. Here's what she says:

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/homew...on-Granju.aspx

[~Demeter~]

Originally Posted by To-Fu

Right, but it all starts somewhere, you know? She regrets how laid back she was when Henry first confessed to using pot, which was why I shared the link. Here's what she says:

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/homew...on-Granju.aspx

I know what she says.. but most kids don't progress to that level of drug use from smoking pot. There's a lot more involved in that story than just marijuana use. I can understand her regrets about being so laid back about it... and I think anybody in her situation would feel the same but I don't think that's the norm or regular for most kids experimenting. If I recall (don't have to reread through that link) he was pretty tore up about confessing to using it...

[SashaBreeze]

Drugs. I hate them.
Alienation, belittlement, banishment. I hate them.

I would not allow or encourage drug use in my home. But neither would I force my child into a situation were the only option left is for lying, fighting and a complete break down of communication become the normal course of the day. You can take drugs very seriously without taking it to a me vs. you level.

My oldest daughters biological father started out smoking pot. He moved on to harder and harder drugs. He knew I had a no drug policy as far as dating goes and he managed to hide his drug use from me for the 8 months or so that we were a couple. He hung himself at the age of 24. As far as I know the adults in his life always chose to either pretend the problem was not there or walk the hard line of do as I say or get out.

My oldest sister started smoking pot as a young teen to be "cool". She continued down that path and is addicted to drugs to this day. Her life has been an on again off again MESS including her children frequently being taken for her and in some cases her abandoning them. It is nothing short of mind boggling that she is still alive, especially since she has actively tried to take her own life 3 separate times. Sadly her life is more regret when she looks back on it than anything else.

I also know first hand dozens of people that smoked pot from the heavy daily smokers to the every once in a while with friends smoker and they are all fine. Went on to lead very productive lives and never attempted to do anything harder.

I am fully aware of the potential of either outcome. Drugs in our home are taken very seriously. My only point was/is that kicking them out or completely betraying their trust and showing them ZERO respect is NOT the way to discourage drug use, it is however the perfect recipe for a complete break down for your relationship with your child. I just felt like keeping a pulse on things and an open honest dialog with her ds would be the best option for the OP, and still do.

I hope my view was a little more clear this time around and has not caused any offence. Because ultimately that is all it is, a view, an opinion, one persons thoughts on the issue.

[EdnaMarie]

Originally Posted by nancynance

DH and I are wrestling over how to handle DS who we are pretty sure is smoking pot with his friends. He will be 18 in 2 months, and is planning on attending the local community college. Do we drug test him at home? I hate that idea. Do we tell him he has to stop or he has to leave home? I hate that idea too. Not really having any other problems with him, just don't know what's the wise thing to do.

I don't have a teen, but I remember my mom's attitude when I was a teen, that kept me from drugs. It was:

"I understand you may want to experiment, even though you know how much I screwed up my own life that way. I only ask that you let me know where you are and whom you are with, and if you are planning on taking a mental vacation or getting in a serious relationship so I can watch out for you. I can help you get protection from STDs if you need it."

She repeated this SO OFTEN and I was mortified each time.

I never had sex or toyed with drugs--I saw enough consequences in my own parents' lives for that--but I am convinced that part of it was the feeling that I really did owe it to her to be honest.

Her policy was also--your body is yours, but if I ever find so much as a single fraction of an ounce of any illegal substance, be it explosive or narcotic or anything, IN MY HOUSE, you are out. I worked too hard to lose what I have for that sh*t. Her idea was, she had to smoke in the woods, we could too. We knew we could clean up and go back, but no drugs in the house.

She ALSO had the policy that we had to pay rent from the end of public school or the age of 18, whichever came second.

I think my mom had an extremely reasonable policy in this regard. It is one parenting thing I will definitely emulate. So just something to consider.

You don't even need to confront him. You can just say you saw something online and you wanted to make sure you were clear with him.

Her policy was the same for all drugs. We were welcome, the drugs weren't.

[MusicianDad]

Things are so much more complex that just "he/she used pot and moved on to harder drugs".

Especially in a country that so villainizes pot, and makes it illegal. Maybe people start there, but the people they spend time with have more of an effect. You hang out with someone who smokes pot, but they are otherwise responsible people who aren't into the gang/rave/getting wasted every weekend, then there is no exposure and no pressure and usually no inclination to go further. If you are spending time with people for whom pot is the tip of the ice berg, there is exposure, and likely pressure, and an opportunity to start using harder drugs.

Just like alcohol. Because a teen has a few drinks with friends it doesn't mean he is going to start binge drinking and using drugs, unless he or she is involved with a group of people for whom that is par for the course.

Being hard lined on all drugs, including pot, doesn't protect your children. Helping them to learn how to recognize and extricate themselves from situations, and friends, who are engaging in this extreme behaviour is far more likely to succeed. It has to happen before they get to that point though, they need to be able to step away at the first sense of trouble.

I've seen the fall with my own eyes, a dear friend from high school who was "guided" by his parents saying 'don't do x' or 'don't hang out with y'. He was never told 'look, if your friends are doing x/y/z and you are getting the sense that they are turning to dangerous activities, or getting into something big that you don't want to be a part of, here are some things you can do to get out early.' When he finally got that message, he was in too deep and it took years for him to crawl back out of the hole he had dug himself into.

[babygirlie]

I think some people are so into their cause of legalization it clouds their views on other subjects.

The subject is.. should I allow my child to do illegal activities in MY home? What right does a teenager have to destroy his/her family? By him doing illegal drugs he takes the chance of his parents going to prison, losing their jobs, putting their child/parent relationship on the line, and losing their HOME. He has ZERO right to put that risk onto anyone but himself. A cop is not going to care who's drugs it is... it's been on tv all the time.. your house YOUR drugs. Oh it was the renters the kids.. doesn't matter YOUR house YOUR DRUGS. Say goodbye to your job because your in jail on drug charges and the cops legally can confiscate your home in a drug bust. Like it or not.

It is NOT decriminalized in America. In my state it is legal with a script. They made a database. Bush said I don't give a rat's behind what your state legalizes it is federally against the law and if we get that list we WILL press charges and you WILL be going to prison. I'm in a LOT of pain and my family desperately want me on mj as I will not take pills for pain 99% of the time. Even though mj is legal here on the news every single day is drug busts and ppl going to jail. You're taking a huge risk with or without it being legal because the federal govt has not legalized it and they're what counts (unfortunately).

Should SHE have to live with all those consequences? How about coughing and the STENCH from the smoke in her house? And trust me it is a stink that lingers and bolted doors don't hide it. And yes, it will make you cough.

BTW, as for all the other random rebuttals that do not have anythign to do with the topic.. yes I think it is a gateway drug BECAUSE you are making contacts in the drug community and tend to only befriend people who are mj friendly and it's those people who are going to know people who do other drugs (including prescrption meds). And I am guessing more than 1% of the mj community has dabbled in other things like mushrooms, acid... whatever. Maybe they didn't become a crack head but they have tested their body out.

As for addiction. There is now a study about people who have addictions have it in their brain make up to be addicted to anything. You can definately be addicted to mj, same as you can be completely addicted to food. But yes crack is worse but mj can completely destroy your life and it can take only a few months. (fact from exp)

How is it different than speeding? I would cry if my child sped and risked his life everyday. You can't demand anything from anyone but giving up my life just so you could die wouldn't sit well with me... but it also won't mean I will be going to jail when you kill that family of 6 on the highway. I'll "just" be out a kid. (ugh) However if my kid was underage say 13... and speeding.. I'm pretty sure I would be on the hook for SOMETHING.

There are also now studies out that show pot smoking is twice as bad for your lungs than tabacco. It's not the sweet things people make it out to be.

So no your child should NOT be allowed to dictate YOUR life and risk YOUR life. Can he risk his own? Unfortunately. Should you test him? He's too old for that. Should he be forced to not have it in your home if that bothers you? Absolutely. Can pot hurt him in the long run? Absolutely.

And yes I AM for legalization but not for being blindly stupid in my endeavers to campaign for something.

And allowing a 13 year old to smoke pot is completely criminal and stupid. Sorry.. had to say it.. but that's really allowing a road of bad behavior and not hanging out with the right people. I would rather my child hate me than be a dead prostitute on 13th street.

[mommyinIL1976]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

1) I don't think any one here is saying they would encourage it. Just that they wouldn't have a problem with it.

And

2) Seriously? What's the difference between marijuana and cocaine/heroine? I have to ask just because so you can ignore the next sentence if you want but... Are you for real?

Ok, now here's a quick run down.

Heroine is a highly addictive, dangerous drug that one can easily OD on and/or get dragged deep into the underground drug scene, including but not limited too, dealing, prostitution, and violent criminal behaviour.

Cocaine is also a highly addictive, dangerous drug that can easily be OD'd on and/or drag someone deep into the underground drug scene, this includes but is not limited too, dealing, prostitution and violent criminal behaviour.

Marijuana on the other hand is low risk for addiction (I believe it was found that the average person would have to smoke multiple times a day, every day for six months at least to even be at risk of developing an addiction). There have been no (zero, zilch, none what so ever) recorded incidents of people od on THC.

Okay....I think you misunderstood my question. I am familiar with the differences in the drugs (your condescension aside). To clarify what I was asking: Would your tolerance of marijuana usage in your home extend to other drugs?

I guess by your response, your answer would be no? So are you saying you would kick a heroin/cocaine user out of your home? This seems as counter productive as kicking a marijuana user out of your home.

If you wouldn't kick a heroin/cocaine user out of your home, but would instead seek treatment for that individual, why wouldn't you do so for someone using marijuana, if you don't condone it's usage. In your previous posts you seem to imply that marijuana can be a good thing (a stress reliever), you know several intelligent people who use it regularly, and that it has no negative health effects. (I disagree with that assessment, by the way. Several studies have shown that marijuana smoke has 50-70% more carcinogens than tobacco smoke. Additionally, studies have shown that THC is a disinhibitor (like alcohol), leading individuals to more risky behaviors like driving under the influence, sexual risk taking, etc.)

Now...I have to admit, I am for decriminalization of all drugs. I believe it should be treated as a health problem. And yes, I see it as a health problem to self medicate with marijuana, narcotics, or alcohol in an effort to "relax", "chill-out", or "decompress". There are more healthful ways to do this than ingesting carcinogenic substances into your body.

The angle I was coming at in my questions was to explore the boundaries people have for the acceptance of certain drugs over others. I'm sorry if you misunderstood.

[philomom]

Originally Posted by babygirlie

I think some people are so into their cause of legalization it clouds their views on other subjects.

The subject is.. should I allow my child to do illegal activities in MY home? What right does a teenager have to destroy his/her family? By him doing illegal drugs he takes the chance of his parents going to prison, losing their jobs, putting their child/parent relationship on the line, and losing their HOME. He has ZERO right to put that risk onto anyone but himself. A cop is not going to care who's drugs it is... it's been on tv all the time.. your house YOUR drugs. Oh it was the renters the kids.. doesn't matter YOUR house YOUR DRUGS. Say goodbye to your job because your in jail on drug charges and the cops legally can confiscate your home in a drug bust. Like it or not.


BTW, as for all the other random rebuttals that do not have anythign to do with the topic.. yes I think it is a gateway drug BECAUSE you are making contacts in the drug community and tend to only befriend people who are mj friendly and it's those people who are going to know people who do other drugs (including prescription meds). And I am guessing more than 1% of the mj community has dabbled in other things like mushrooms, acid... whatever. Maybe they didn't become a crack head but they have tested their body out.

As for addiction. There is now a study about people who have addictions have it in their brain make up to be addicted to anything. You can definitely be addicted to mj, same as you can be completely addicted to food. But yes crack is worse but mj can completely destroy your life and it can take only a few months. (fact from exp)

How is it different than speeding? I would cry if my child sped and risked his life everyday. You can't demand anything from anyone but giving up my life just so you could die wouldn't sit well with me... but it also won't mean I will be going to jail when you kill that family of 6 on the highway. I'll "just" be out a kid. (ugh) However if my kid was underage say 13... and speeding.. I'm pretty sure I would be on the hook for SOMETHING.

There are also now studies out that show pot smoking is twice as bad for your lungs than tobacco. It's not the sweet things people make it out to be.

So no your child should NOT be allowed to dictate YOUR life and risk YOUR life. Can he risk his own? Unfortunately. Should you test him? He's too old for that. Should he be forced to not have it in your home if that bothers you? Absolutely. Can pot hurt him in the long run? Absolutely.

Thank you for this post. This covers many of my own thoughts well.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by SashaBreeze

My oldest daughters biological father started out smoking pot. He moved on to harder and harder drugs. He knew I had a no drug policy as far as dating goes and he managed to hide his drug use from me for the 8 months or so that we were a couple. He hung himself at the age of 24. As far as I know the adults in his life always chose to either pretend the problem was not there or walk the hard line of do as I say or get out.

<snip>

My oldest sister started smoking pot as a young teen to be "cool". She continued down that path and is addicted to drugs to this day. Her life has been an on again off again MESS including her children frequently being taken for her and in some cases her abandoning them. It is nothing short of mind boggling that she is still alive, especially since she has actively tried to take her own life 3 separate times. Sadly her life is more regret when she looks back on it than anything else.

It doesn't sound to me like drugs were the root of the problem in either of these cases.

There are people who drink and do mild recreational drugs for fun and relaxation, and then there are people who DRINK and do harder drugs because they are emotional wrecks (for whatever reason) and need an escape. They're self-medicating, destructive as it is.

Obviously, long term use of hard drugs just makes life worse, not better. But who is to say that the young man might not have taken his life earlier if not for the escape that drugs provide? If my kids wanted to do drugs, my first response would not be "No!" It would be "Why?" I'd want to know what they were seeking.

[SashaBreeze]

Originally Posted by 2xy

Obviously, long term use of hard drugs just makes life worse, not better. But who is to say that the young man might not have taken his life earlier if not for the escape that drugs provide? If my kids wanted to do drugs, my first response would not be "No!" It would be "Why?" I'd want to know what they were seeking.

I agree.

I think ultimately that would be my response as well. That is my point in the whole thing. To communicate with your children about drugs really dig deep and dedicate yourself to the situation not to ignore it or to completely come unhinged over it, but to face it together and work at moving forward.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by mommyinIL1976

Okay....I think you misunderstood my question. I am familiar with the differences in the drugs (your condescension aside). To clarify what I was asking: Would your tolerance of marijuana usage in your home extend to other drugs?

I guess by your response, your answer would be no? So are you saying you would kick a heroin/cocaine user out of your home? This seems as counter productive as kicking a marijuana user out of your home.

If you wouldn't kick a heroin/cocaine user out of your home, but would instead seek treatment for that individual, why wouldn't you do so for someone using marijuana, if you don't condone it's usage. In your previous posts you seem to imply that marijuana can be a good thing (a stress reliever), you know several intelligent people who use it regularly, and that it has no negative health effects. (I disagree with that assessment, by the way. Several studies have shown that marijuana smoke has 50-70% more carcinogens than tobacco smoke. Additionally, studies have shown that THC is a disinhibitor (like alcohol), leading individuals to more risky behaviors like driving under the influence, sexual risk taking, etc.)

Now...I have to admit, I am for decriminalization of all drugs. I believe it should be treated as a health problem. And yes, I see it as a health problem to self medicate with marijuana, narcotics, or alcohol in an effort to "relax", "chill-out", or "decompress". There are more healthful ways to do this than ingesting carcinogenic substances into your body.

The angle I was coming at in my questions was to explore the boundaries people have for the acceptance of certain drugs over others. I'm sorry if you misunderstood.

First off, there is no solid proof that marijuana causes cancer. There have been several studies to the contrary.

Second, would I get help for someone if the drug in question were heroine or cocaine? Yes, the reason being both of those are highly addictive. Marijuana is not. There are people who would drag their kid to rehab because they smoked marijuana once. Around here you would get laughed out of the clinic. Marijuana is not a highly addictive drug. That is part of the rampant misconception about marijuana.

I never said there were no negative side effects. There are, most (if not all) of those side affects occur with heavy use of the drug, not with what someone who smokes a little with friends once or twice a month.

Most people who occasionally smoke marijuana are not self medicating. Some are admittedly, I do on occasion because it sure as hell beats prozac, but unless someone is a heavy user you can't assume that they have some psychological or emotion trauma that leads them to smoke.

You want to know why marijuana is still illegal (though decriminalized in many places in the US)? Go check out the list of what studies have show it to have a beneficial affect on. Heck, even MRSA is on that list. Not to mention depression, ADD/ADHD, some types of cancers, OCD, turrets and a dozen or so more. This is beyond the AIDS/HIV, glaucoma and help for chemo patients you hear about most often.

Not to mention the other uses, paper, cloth, building material, a lot of big companies would loose a lot of money if cannabis becomes legal to grow. So they continue to perpetuate myths like "the gateway drug" or what was shown in Reefer Madness (which btw, includes murder as a potential side effect...)

So basically, yeah I have done my research and I would never put marijuana in the same category as cocaine or heroine. D.A.R.E. does, as do other zero tolerance groups, but in reality it doesn't even come close.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by babygirlie

BTW, as for all the other random rebuttals that do not have anythign to do with the topic.. yes I think it is a gateway drug BECAUSE you are making contacts in the drug community and tend to only befriend people who are mj friendly and it's those people who are going to know people who do other drugs (including prescrption meds). And I am guessing more than 1% of the mj community has dabbled in other things like mushrooms, acid... whatever. Maybe they didn't become a crack head but they have tested their body out.

More than 1%? Probably, more than 10%? I would be surprised... Not everyone who is MJ friendly is big on other drugs. Most of them simply realize that MJ has been unfairly treated for a number of reasons (the big ones being racism and money). MJ is one of the few (maybe even only) drugs that anti-drug groups actually feel the need to lie about the actual affects of the drug. The gateway theory is one of those, MJ being "highly addictive" is another, the idea that smoking weed will lead you to kill your girlfriend or mug an old lady is another. If it's such a terrible drug why do they feel they can't make their argument with facts?

P.S. Smoking is a stronger indicator of future drug use that marijuana.

P.P.S. Those who are MJ friendly just want people to have a chance to look at all the information and not just the crap the government puts out there. Do some research, see what the other side is actually saying before demonizing them and the drug.

[babygirlie]

Off topic, How would using drugs be "escaping"? you have problems so you turn to a substance that, unless you live under a rock, know for a fact will destroy you inside and out and will cause the rest of your life to be miserable, like attempting sobriety for the rest of your life... be escaping? It would make your problems ten times worse. I, intellectually, don't get that. I have no respect for people who PURPOSEFULLY destroy themselves and then want a pat on the back when they attempt sobriety like celebrities. Maybe it's the alien in me that does not understand how nausea, dizziness, unprotected bad sex with stds, vomiting, chronic addiction to fight every minute for the rest of your life would make anyone feel better or that they've escaped anything. Just the thought makes me queezy. Try yoga or therapy or gardening.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by babygirlie

Off topic, How would using drugs be "escaping"? you have problems so you turn to a substance that, unless you live under a rock, know for a fact will destroy you inside and out and will cause the rest of your life to be miserable, like attempting sobriety for the rest of your life... be escaping? It would make your problems ten times worse. I, intellectually, don't get that. I have no respect for people who PURPOSEFULLY destroy themselves and then want a pat on the back when they attempt sobriety like celebrities. Maybe it's the alien in me that does not understand how nausea, dizziness, unprotected bad sex with stds, vomiting, chronic addiction to fight every minute for the rest of your life would make anyone feel better or that they've escaped anything. Just the thought makes me queezy. Try yoga or therapy or gardening.

Pot does not destroy your body "inside and out'" Its an herb for freaks sake, its not meth. That to me is like saying don't drink coffee if you need energy. Just get more sleep!!

This post indicates to me that you have no respect for the intellect of people who disagree with your opinion about its effects.

Unprotected bad sex with std's? Huh??

Yoga, therapy and gardening..hee hee hee . Not everyone embraces the bourgeois lifestyle.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by babygirlie

Off topic, How would using drugs be "escaping"? you have problems so you turn to a substance that, unless you live under a rock, know for a fact will destroy you inside and out and will cause the rest of your life to be miserable, like attempting sobriety for the rest of your life... be escaping? It would make your problems ten times worse. I, intellectually, don't get that. I have no respect for people who PURPOSEFULLY destroy themselves and then want a pat on the back when they attempt sobriety like celebrities. Maybe it's the alien in me that does not understand how nausea, dizziness, unprotected bad sex with stds, vomiting, chronic addiction to fight every minute for the rest of your life would make anyone feel better or that they've escaped anything. Just the thought makes me queezy. Try yoga or therapy or gardening.

Because when you are on something like Heroin... You just don't care.

It's an escape from reality, the bad side effects don't kick in until you need your next dose. It inhibits your ability to think rationally about something and rightly predict the outcome.

Pot doesn't do all that though, it relaxes you, but not to the point where you think "hey, the guy pissed me of so if I knife him and dump his body in the trash then say I didn't do it, I will get off!"

Pot is like yoga, therapy and gardening all rolled into one. It just relaxes you, makes you feel better about yourself, and helps you stop dwelling on the bad. All without the dizziness, or random unprotected sex (very few people do that on just MJ), vomiting, or chronic addiction.

I do think you should do a little research on addiction, what it is, what the predispositions are, and how the different drugs affect people. It doesn't make sense to you, I am guessing, because you assume that people go into using with the intention of getting addicted.

P.S. It's hard to have sex with an STD, they are kind of... small. On the other hand you can have sex with someone who has an STD.

[AbundantLife]

Regardless of how harmful or non-harmful one believes pot to be, it is still illegal most everywhere. If my oldest son (a college sr) were to be busted, he would lose his financial aid and possibly his future in his chosen career.

I did find out that he tried it (most teens do) and I expressed to him that it was not acceptable to me, told him about the consequences, and made sure he knew that I would not condone it.

Interestingly, many on this board are of the, "I did it and I turned OK" mindset. I want better for my kids than my DH and I did. My DH spent a good many years as a pot head and never finished college because of it. He regrets that and has made every effort to assure our kids don't end up like he did.