My due date was June 21st. Both my husband and I were convinced we’d be early, but by June 18th, it was clear if were early, it wasn’t going to be by much, although that day I lost my mucus plug so we knew it was coming soonish. We planned a home birth and had bought all the water birth stuff we needed and had a home birth kit ready for our midwives. My mother delivered all three of us kids at home and I saw how great an experience it could be and also wanted a natural birth for my first child. No drugs, no interventions, and no “hospital” clocks to contend with. I also believed that my husband would get to be more involved at home and not simply pushed to the side as a bystander and I wanted this birth to involve him in all ways (this was his second child, and the first birth was a very “medical” event in which he felt very much like a bystander).
On June 19th, early in the day, I started feeling some cramping pains and some tightening in my stomach. It was sporadic and not very strong, but figuring it could be something, hubby and I decided to stay relatively close to home and so we settled on going to see Toy Story 3 at a small theatre a few blocks away. The movie was good but I couldn’t help but notice the cramps continuing along with some back pain throughout the entire show. Afterwards we went home to rest and ended up walking around the neighbourhood where the cramps got worse, and so did the back pain. By 6pm, the cramps were consistently 5-6 minutes apart and lasting about 30-45 seconds each and we realized that labour had begun. We called our doula who said it was still early labour but yes, it was starting. Things got a bit more intense as the night went on, but at 10pm, it wasn’t that much worse off than before and our doula recommended taking a gravol and Tylenol and trying to sleep while I could. I did and was able to sleep through the night while only waking occasionally with contractions.
The next morning (the 20th) things were right where they were the night before – the cramps were the same intensity and still about 5 minutes apart, but lasting longer. My back was starting to hurt with each one. As the day went on, the contractions got longer and longer until they were now consistently over a minute. We called a friend, Jill, who was going to be there for the birth and she headed over around 6:30pm. We were in constant contact with the doula and by 9pm, the pain in my back had gotten so intense it was awful – I couldn’t tell when one contraction ended and another began. My husband called the doula to come over and she was there less than an hour later. We knew our peanut was posterior prior to labour and I had been working to try and turn her but it seemed that labour had started and unfortunately, with peanut’s posterior position, it was back labour. A second friend, Ali, also arrived at that time and the doula started trying to turn peanut. After an hour or so, she seemed to have succeeded and the difference in contractions was amazing. Suddenly it was bearable and felt more intense than painful. However, for whatever reason I could not keep my eyes open – I was just exhausted. The doula recommended I try to sleep a bit so we went to bed. I fell asleep and the doula stayed for a couple hours before going down to my friend to tell her that I was still contracting regularly but was sleeping through it and so we should leave it. She was going home to rest.
I woke up Monday morning (the 21st) and it seems the contractions had died down. They were still coming, but not as frequently. We went through most of the day with little happening until about 8pm when the back labour started again. At first it wasn’t as bad as the night before, so I sent my hubby to bed. However, I couldn’t sleep all night – the contractions got closer together and the pain worse and worse. By the morning of the 22nd, it was really bad again and I woke my hubby up at 5am. He called my friend Jill at 6am to come over. We refilled the birthing pool and started everything over again. This time everything just kept getting worse at ever increasing speed. My doula couldn’t make it right away so she sent the backup who, although very nice, seemed way to hesitant and passive to help at all. I was walking, taking stairs, in the pool, etc., trying to turn my peanut again the way my doula had done the Sunday night. The pain was getting worse and worse. To be honest, the next while is a bit of a blur. I know we had an acupuncturist come in who tried to help, but nothing came from that. We also rented a TENS machine for my back that would try to scramble signals or something, and while this did help at first, at one point my friend Ali accidentally turned it all the way up during a contraction and it was excruciating and that was the end of that. My doula told me about water shots that might help and I was all for it, but we had to wait for the midwife.
The midwife arrived at 3:30pm and was hesitant to do the water shots at that moment because of how painful the water shots are. Personally I didn’t care, but the decision was made to hold off and I couldn’t really contribute much to the conversation at that point. At this time I was only 4 ½ cm dilated. Two hours and more pain later, I was 5 cm dilated but at least the water sack had moved and was in front by baby’s head. I labored for an hour like this and then we decided it was time for the water shots. Frankly, I thought they had overstated how painful they were as I found them quite bearable, especially relative to the pain of back labour. As my doula said a couple days later, that was when her and the midwife realized how bad the back pain had been – apparently women scream blue murder with these shots. However, it was a huge relief. There was still some back pain but a lot had left and I could actually focus on the contractions and breathe through them instead of feeling like someone was trying to tear my back in two.
One more hour later and unfortunately nothing had changed. My midwife was starting to worry as after too long and too much pain the uterus can just stop working and she knew I really did not want to end up with a c-section. At this stage she broke the water and this is when we saw that it was filled with meconium, lots of it, and the kind that signals infant distress. There was really no other choice but to get to the hospital at this point. I thought I’d be more upset about it, but the thought of my little baby being in distress was something I wanted to end no matter what. And it was clear that all we were doing at home was not really working too well as I was still in back labour and as my doula said, I wasn’t getting the breaks in between contractions to relax which is when a lot of the work happens in labour.
As we hadn’t planned on a hospital visit, we didn’t have anything ready to go so there was a bit of a mad dash to get a bag ready to take. About 10 minutes later we were out the door to the car. The water shots had now worn off and the intense pain had returned. I can barely remember the drive to the hospital but by the time we got there, the pain was so bad, I know I was just screaming and falling down with each contraction. I believed I’d be getting an epidural soon and realized that I needed it – there was no way my baby could handle me being in this much pain with no relief in between. Unfortunately it took another hour before they got the epidural in. I was both screaming and sobbing at this stage. Luckily within minutes of the epidural, the pain started to fade. Finally, I was able to relax and on the monitors and everything, my baby’s heart rate was up to normal and looking non-stressed. My one friend Alison had to leave and my midwife went to catch a nap while Jill went to get food for herself and my hubby. I tried to rest but was so relieved from the lack of pain, I had a bit of a rush and could not fall asleep.
Two hours later I was fully dilated and ready to push. As my midwife told me, this is what epidurals are for. When used to relax mom when things aren’t moving well, they actually speed up labour instead of slowing it down. I pushed for an hour, and was told at the end that the contractions weren’t as close together as they’d like, as the hospital doesn’t like people pushing for more than 2 hours (the “hospital clock”). The midwife had to call the OB/GYN to come check me out and they had to start discussing getting pitocin. This was something I had personally really wanted to avoid. For the first time, I felt as if the control over my birth was starting to slip away. I managed to say that I really didn’t want it and was there anything else to do. The nurse who was in with us (and who was also a midwife) said that squatting during contractions really helped but that they were worried I wouldn’t have the strength to do them given the length of labour thus far and the pain I’d been through with back labour. I insisted upon trying it while my midwife went to consult with the OB/GYN. For four contractions I got myself up into the squatting position and oh-my-goodness did it ever get things going! I was aiming to do five contractions in that position, but it was so intense I just couldn’t do the fifth like that – I needed a break. However, from that point on, every push got us further along, and much further along. Even when the OB/GYN came down to check me out, he couldn’t deny that there was no need for pitocin at this stage. For the next 2 ½ hours I pushed and pushed hard. The epidural had worn off, which I was happy about, and as the pushing got close together, I was really starting to feel it, but in a good way as I felt the changes with each push.
As we got to the end, they brought a mirror in so I could see my little one’s head popping out. What a sight – I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was amazing. My husband and Jill were holding my legs for the type of push we were doing and my husband has said it was just a completely different experience being up close and “in the action” (so to speak) as opposed to being a bystander. I had hoped my husband would be able to catch our child and now that we were at the hospital I wasn’t sure the protocol, but as it was still my midwife doing the delivery, she said he could which was fantastic. At 5:34am, my husband got down there and caught our little bundle of joy and passed the baby to me immediately. I couldn’t believe I had this perfect little creature with me who started howling right away. Someone had to remind us to check gender as neither of us had! My husband was convinced the entire pregnancy that it was a boy so when I looked and saw we had a little girl, I just laughed and told him. He didn’t believe me and did a second check himself! At 22 inches and 8 lbs 12ozs, we had a beautiful, healthy girl – Madeleine Elizabeth Cassels-Sword – and I could not have been happier.
I know I didn’t get the birth I had planned. That surprised me because I’m healthy, I took care of myself the entire pregnancy, and there’s no family history of complications in labour – in fact, my mom’s delivery of her three kids was downright textbook simple. Prior to this experience, my biggest fear was having a complication and losing control over the situation entirely and ending up with intervention after intervention. I ended up being very close to that path, but managed not to go there. As my midwife said, it was sheer force of will that allowed me to have a relatively intervention-free vaginal birth (minus the epidural that was absolutely needed for my Maddy) as 9 times out of 10 this would have ended with a c-section. I suppose I could feel like I was slightly cheated from the birth I wanted, but I don’t feel that way. Instead I feel stronger for having had to leave “my turf” (home) for the hospital, but still having the important parts of the birth continue as I had hoped (husband catching, no pitocin, no c-section). I also could never feel bad about anything that helped my Maddy when she was in distress and that’s exactly what the epidural did. After a total of 83 hours of labour, back labour for the majority of it, and an unexpected visit to the hospital, I now get to enjoy the most beautiful little girl in the world. And I think I even appreciate her even more for it all.
On June 19th, early in the day, I started feeling some cramping pains and some tightening in my stomach. It was sporadic and not very strong, but figuring it could be something, hubby and I decided to stay relatively close to home and so we settled on going to see Toy Story 3 at a small theatre a few blocks away. The movie was good but I couldn’t help but notice the cramps continuing along with some back pain throughout the entire show. Afterwards we went home to rest and ended up walking around the neighbourhood where the cramps got worse, and so did the back pain. By 6pm, the cramps were consistently 5-6 minutes apart and lasting about 30-45 seconds each and we realized that labour had begun. We called our doula who said it was still early labour but yes, it was starting. Things got a bit more intense as the night went on, but at 10pm, it wasn’t that much worse off than before and our doula recommended taking a gravol and Tylenol and trying to sleep while I could. I did and was able to sleep through the night while only waking occasionally with contractions.
The next morning (the 20th) things were right where they were the night before – the cramps were the same intensity and still about 5 minutes apart, but lasting longer. My back was starting to hurt with each one. As the day went on, the contractions got longer and longer until they were now consistently over a minute. We called a friend, Jill, who was going to be there for the birth and she headed over around 6:30pm. We were in constant contact with the doula and by 9pm, the pain in my back had gotten so intense it was awful – I couldn’t tell when one contraction ended and another began. My husband called the doula to come over and she was there less than an hour later. We knew our peanut was posterior prior to labour and I had been working to try and turn her but it seemed that labour had started and unfortunately, with peanut’s posterior position, it was back labour. A second friend, Ali, also arrived at that time and the doula started trying to turn peanut. After an hour or so, she seemed to have succeeded and the difference in contractions was amazing. Suddenly it was bearable and felt more intense than painful. However, for whatever reason I could not keep my eyes open – I was just exhausted. The doula recommended I try to sleep a bit so we went to bed. I fell asleep and the doula stayed for a couple hours before going down to my friend to tell her that I was still contracting regularly but was sleeping through it and so we should leave it. She was going home to rest.
I woke up Monday morning (the 21st) and it seems the contractions had died down. They were still coming, but not as frequently. We went through most of the day with little happening until about 8pm when the back labour started again. At first it wasn’t as bad as the night before, so I sent my hubby to bed. However, I couldn’t sleep all night – the contractions got closer together and the pain worse and worse. By the morning of the 22nd, it was really bad again and I woke my hubby up at 5am. He called my friend Jill at 6am to come over. We refilled the birthing pool and started everything over again. This time everything just kept getting worse at ever increasing speed. My doula couldn’t make it right away so she sent the backup who, although very nice, seemed way to hesitant and passive to help at all. I was walking, taking stairs, in the pool, etc., trying to turn my peanut again the way my doula had done the Sunday night. The pain was getting worse and worse. To be honest, the next while is a bit of a blur. I know we had an acupuncturist come in who tried to help, but nothing came from that. We also rented a TENS machine for my back that would try to scramble signals or something, and while this did help at first, at one point my friend Ali accidentally turned it all the way up during a contraction and it was excruciating and that was the end of that. My doula told me about water shots that might help and I was all for it, but we had to wait for the midwife.
The midwife arrived at 3:30pm and was hesitant to do the water shots at that moment because of how painful the water shots are. Personally I didn’t care, but the decision was made to hold off and I couldn’t really contribute much to the conversation at that point. At this time I was only 4 ½ cm dilated. Two hours and more pain later, I was 5 cm dilated but at least the water sack had moved and was in front by baby’s head. I labored for an hour like this and then we decided it was time for the water shots. Frankly, I thought they had overstated how painful they were as I found them quite bearable, especially relative to the pain of back labour. As my doula said a couple days later, that was when her and the midwife realized how bad the back pain had been – apparently women scream blue murder with these shots. However, it was a huge relief. There was still some back pain but a lot had left and I could actually focus on the contractions and breathe through them instead of feeling like someone was trying to tear my back in two.
One more hour later and unfortunately nothing had changed. My midwife was starting to worry as after too long and too much pain the uterus can just stop working and she knew I really did not want to end up with a c-section. At this stage she broke the water and this is when we saw that it was filled with meconium, lots of it, and the kind that signals infant distress. There was really no other choice but to get to the hospital at this point. I thought I’d be more upset about it, but the thought of my little baby being in distress was something I wanted to end no matter what. And it was clear that all we were doing at home was not really working too well as I was still in back labour and as my doula said, I wasn’t getting the breaks in between contractions to relax which is when a lot of the work happens in labour.
As we hadn’t planned on a hospital visit, we didn’t have anything ready to go so there was a bit of a mad dash to get a bag ready to take. About 10 minutes later we were out the door to the car. The water shots had now worn off and the intense pain had returned. I can barely remember the drive to the hospital but by the time we got there, the pain was so bad, I know I was just screaming and falling down with each contraction. I believed I’d be getting an epidural soon and realized that I needed it – there was no way my baby could handle me being in this much pain with no relief in between. Unfortunately it took another hour before they got the epidural in. I was both screaming and sobbing at this stage. Luckily within minutes of the epidural, the pain started to fade. Finally, I was able to relax and on the monitors and everything, my baby’s heart rate was up to normal and looking non-stressed. My one friend Alison had to leave and my midwife went to catch a nap while Jill went to get food for herself and my hubby. I tried to rest but was so relieved from the lack of pain, I had a bit of a rush and could not fall asleep.
Two hours later I was fully dilated and ready to push. As my midwife told me, this is what epidurals are for. When used to relax mom when things aren’t moving well, they actually speed up labour instead of slowing it down. I pushed for an hour, and was told at the end that the contractions weren’t as close together as they’d like, as the hospital doesn’t like people pushing for more than 2 hours (the “hospital clock”). The midwife had to call the OB/GYN to come check me out and they had to start discussing getting pitocin. This was something I had personally really wanted to avoid. For the first time, I felt as if the control over my birth was starting to slip away. I managed to say that I really didn’t want it and was there anything else to do. The nurse who was in with us (and who was also a midwife) said that squatting during contractions really helped but that they were worried I wouldn’t have the strength to do them given the length of labour thus far and the pain I’d been through with back labour. I insisted upon trying it while my midwife went to consult with the OB/GYN. For four contractions I got myself up into the squatting position and oh-my-goodness did it ever get things going! I was aiming to do five contractions in that position, but it was so intense I just couldn’t do the fifth like that – I needed a break. However, from that point on, every push got us further along, and much further along. Even when the OB/GYN came down to check me out, he couldn’t deny that there was no need for pitocin at this stage. For the next 2 ½ hours I pushed and pushed hard. The epidural had worn off, which I was happy about, and as the pushing got close together, I was really starting to feel it, but in a good way as I felt the changes with each push.
As we got to the end, they brought a mirror in so I could see my little one’s head popping out. What a sight – I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was amazing. My husband and Jill were holding my legs for the type of push we were doing and my husband has said it was just a completely different experience being up close and “in the action” (so to speak) as opposed to being a bystander. I had hoped my husband would be able to catch our child and now that we were at the hospital I wasn’t sure the protocol, but as it was still my midwife doing the delivery, she said he could which was fantastic. At 5:34am, my husband got down there and caught our little bundle of joy and passed the baby to me immediately. I couldn’t believe I had this perfect little creature with me who started howling right away. Someone had to remind us to check gender as neither of us had! My husband was convinced the entire pregnancy that it was a boy so when I looked and saw we had a little girl, I just laughed and told him. He didn’t believe me and did a second check himself! At 22 inches and 8 lbs 12ozs, we had a beautiful, healthy girl – Madeleine Elizabeth Cassels-Sword – and I could not have been happier.
I know I didn’t get the birth I had planned. That surprised me because I’m healthy, I took care of myself the entire pregnancy, and there’s no family history of complications in labour – in fact, my mom’s delivery of her three kids was downright textbook simple. Prior to this experience, my biggest fear was having a complication and losing control over the situation entirely and ending up with intervention after intervention. I ended up being very close to that path, but managed not to go there. As my midwife said, it was sheer force of will that allowed me to have a relatively intervention-free vaginal birth (minus the epidural that was absolutely needed for my Maddy) as 9 times out of 10 this would have ended with a c-section. I suppose I could feel like I was slightly cheated from the birth I wanted, but I don’t feel that way. Instead I feel stronger for having had to leave “my turf” (home) for the hospital, but still having the important parts of the birth continue as I had hoped (husband catching, no pitocin, no c-section). I also could never feel bad about anything that helped my Maddy when she was in distress and that’s exactly what the epidural did. After a total of 83 hours of labour, back labour for the majority of it, and an unexpected visit to the hospital, I now get to enjoy the most beautiful little girl in the world. And I think I even appreciate her even more for it all.
I'm glad you had a healthy birth with as little intervention as possible. I am only planning to TTC now but learning as much as possible it's good to know that if there are complications having good advocates and a strong will could still result in as much of a natural birth as possible. 
We can't control circumstances, only how we react to them and choose to view them. Congrats on your baby girl!
