Am I a pregnant b**** or justified?

[lmk1]

So, I have 3 nephews, who I love, but are really spoiled. They've gotten every game boy, every toy, whatever materialistic thing they've ever wanted. What they haven't gotten is good parenting. So while there's discipline, it's the random yelling kind without any consistency or consequence, and their diet is horrendous...all frozen crap with mostly pizza, hotdogs and ice cream for variation. It's hard when we visit them because we cook all our food, and try to give ds a good varied diet...but then he sees them eating ice cream 5 times a day, and of course, can't understand why he can't have it.

Now, I live about 30 min from my mom and I was counting on her watching my ds while I'm giving birth. My nephews and family will be driving here (from another state) to stay with my mom at the same time (they do every year around this time). And my SIL/bro have asked that my eldest nephew (13yo) fly here ahead of time, so it's easier for them to drive down (it's about 24 hours), as he's the most uncontrollable. I just went beserk because my mom even thought of asking me AGAIN what I thought of that idea. I was thinking of calling my mom when labor starts and have her come over to watch ds ... not right as I'm leaving to the hospital, but in early labor. So, she would either have to bring my nephew over or leave him home alone. Now my bro leaves my nephew home alone, but I KNOW my mom...she's a worrier, and she'd be worried about him being alone more than an hour. And I have a small 1 br condo, so I can't imagine having my nephew even there when I'm in labor, for privacy or whatever, but especially having to deal with any "crap" from him...I mean maybe he'd be pretty respectful and helpful watching my ds, but I just haven't seen him acting responsibly really...

What really ticks me off, is that my SIL had a live in nanny whenever she was in labor, and had lot of adults around to help out. No one ever brought kids over for her to worry about. It just seems really inconsiderate that I have to worry about that when I'm in labor. And no, I don't have a live in nanny.
Sorry to vent ... honest opinions please, are welcome. If you think I'm overreacting let me know!

[shoefairy3]

Can your mom take your little on to her house during active labor?

[zinemama]

I don't understand why your sil and bro are coming to stay with your mother at a time when they must know you will need her undivided attention. Why has your mother encouraged this?

If I were you, I'd have a talk with your mother and ask her to have them re-schedule their visit for a time when she will be able to focus on them, not amid the hectic activity of a new baby's arrival.

[MaerynPearl]

I dont have any tips or anything, just want to say I do not feel like you are overreacting at all... I would feel the same!

[babyjelly]

It does seem rather inconsiderate of both your mom and brother to plan this trip for right when your baby is due. Yes, I get that it's an annual thing, but couldn't it be moved just a couple of weeks?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Ruthla]

I don't think it's a good idea for the 13yo to fly ahead of Mom and Dad and little siblings right now, since Auntie Imk1 is having her baby soon and Grandma needs to be available to babysit Little Cousin when Auntie has the baby. DB and SIL can deal with their own kid in the car this year. The simple fact that he's "uncontrollable in the car" is reason enough not to leave him home alone for an extended period of time (like when you go babysit for DD in labor), even though he's probably fine at home for an hour to go food shopping.

You're not being a "pregnant doggie". They're being inconsiderate. Let Mom know that you NEED her to be available by herself, without a teenaged boy, when you go into labor. Your brother and SIL can figure out what to do on their own- they can all fly, one can drive with the 2 littles and one fly with the teen, or they can manage in the car with all 3. That's their problem, not yours.

[lmk1]

Originally Posted by shoefairy3

Can your mom take your little on to her house during active labor?

If it's during the night...it's not feasible to wake up ds for that. Also, my mom hates driving at night, as her vision just isn't what it used to be...and this way, she'd have to drive 2 ways. Also, I'm thinking that she could spell dh if it's during the night as far as being with me...I'm hoping not to go to the hospital too early. I don't even really know what to expect, as I was induced last time, so my entire labor was in the hospital.

And also, we have a convertible car seat in her car now, but we're planning on taking it out and putting in our car for ds2. So she wouldn't have a car seat to take ds1 home. I'm also picturing ds1 being really inconsolable as he always wakes up with me home, and goes to sleep with me. My mom has never driven him anywhere without me...I just can't imagine her taking him without me. Perhaps it would be ok, but I'm already stressed out thinking how ds1 will be 2 days without me...much less him crying because he doesn't want to leave and being in active labor at the same time...it would be much easier for her to distract him and me to leave to go to the hospital.

[lmk1]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I don't understand why your sil and bro are coming to stay with your mother at a time when they must know you will need her undivided attention. Why has your mother encouraged this?

If I were you, I'd have a talk with your mother and ask her to have them re-schedule their visit for a time when she will be able to focus on them, not amid the hectic activity of a new baby's arrival.

I'm not even fighting that aspect of it...my mom has let them know she's not going to be entertaining them or cooking...but of course, whether that's actually going to happen or not, who knows. I'd love her help with the new baby...but what I really need is to know ds1 is fine while I'm in labor ... I'm somewhat stressed out about it ahead of time, since ds1 does not go to sleep without me normally, and he's with me all day...so it's going to be a huge thing for me to just be gone for 2 days, and I'd like my mom's attention on him, and nothing else while I'm in the hospital.

[lmk1]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I don't think it's a good idea for the 13yo to fly ahead of Mom and Dad and little siblings right now, since Auntie Imk1 is having her baby soon and Grandma needs to be available to babysit Little Cousin when Auntie has the baby. DB and SIL can deal with their own kid in the car this year. The simple fact that he's "uncontrollable in the car" is reason enough not to leave him home alone for an extended period of time (like when you go babysit for DD in labor), even though he's probably fine at home for an hour to go food shopping.

You're not being a "pregnant doggie". They're being inconsiderate. Let Mom know that you NEED her to be available by herself, without a teenaged boy, when you go into labor. Your brother and SIL can figure out what to do on their own- they can all fly, one can drive with the 2 littles and one fly with the teen, or they can manage in the car with all 3. That's their problem, not yours.

Thank you! I think my SIL is thinking of driving on her own...which I can't even imagine because before she's declared that it's too long of a drive to do with my brother. My bro is going to be busy and may not even come, so she's figuring it'll be easier on her with 1 (or 2 less kids) in the car. It's just the gall of her even thinking of what will be easier for her that ticks me off. I can understand my bro asking since men are somewhat clueless, but having been in labor herself, one would think she has a clue of what that's like!!!